In The Mix
Movies
Title: "Speed Racer" PG (sequences ofaction, some violence and smoking)
Grade: D-
Basic story: The latest from the Wachowski brothers is just what you'd expect: an overdone piece of film that's loaded with effects and lacking in substance. In fact, the best performance is given by the chimp.
What you'll love: Go Speed, go. PLEASE. When moving, it's bearable. A visual feast of color and CGI cars whose shiny bodies reflect their surroundings, it's a modern-day acid trip.
What you won't: Road rage: This flimsy excuse for a film runs for a numbing two hours and nine minutes.
Title: "What Happens in Vegas" PG-13 (some sexual and crude content)
Grade: C-
Basic story: Trader Joy (Cameron Diaz) meets slacker Jack (Ashton Kutcher). She gets drunk, marries, wakes and wants a divorce. Then Jack hits the slots.
What you'll love: -What you won't: The insults are mild. So are the laughs. Kutcher's goofy charm wears thin. Diaz's Joy is joyless. You hear that crackling sound? That's your brain on this movie.
Comic
Title: "Kick-Ass #3" $2.99
Grade: A+
Basic story: About a boy: Dave is a superhero. Except he has no powers. Or costume. Or even a cool name. When he fights crime, it always ends in blood — his own.
What you'll love: One of the freshest comics in years asks: If you tried to be a superhero in the real world, what would happen? Nothing good. That's why this rocks.
What you won't: -
Cd
Title: Phil Stacey "Phil Stacey" $18.98
Grade: C+
Basic story: The "American Idol" stood out for his upbeat personality and openly religious style. His debut as a country music singer follows suit.
What you'll love: An album that thrives on good vibrations, the songs are filled with breezy pop hooks and positive themes that sometimes cross into spiritual messages.
What you won't: Things stumble a bit toward the end. By then, it doesn't matter. He's got us.
Title: Flight/Conchords "Flight/Conchords" $15.99
Grade: C+
Basic story: Coming to America: New Zealand's fourth-best folk parody duo — Jermaine Clement and Bret McKenzie — offer this collection of 15 songs from last season.
What you'll love: The guys run through a variety of musical styles that straddle the line between dumb and sublime. But here's the thing: These songs are better seen than heard.
What you won't: -
Dvd
Title: "Teeth" $24.95
Grade: B+
Basic story: This twisted chic flick centers on a teen who learns a horrid secret about her anatomy — she possesses a toothed vagina that has a habit of biting men.
What you'll love: No actors were harmed in the making of this film. But there's satiric humor, gore galore and a star-making turn from Jess Weixler as sunny blonde Dawn.What you won't: -
Title: "The Hottie and the Nottie" $24.95
Grade: F
Basic story: One of the worst films since "Plan 9 From Outer Space." Paris Hilton plays — OK, that's a stretch — a piece of eye candy chased by her nerdy BFF.
What you'll love: Hilton. If only to see that vacuous vamp fall on her face.
What you won't: Hilton. You need a helpless coed for the next slasher flick, cast her. As for anything that resembles actual acting (read: talent), leave it to the pros.
In The Mix
