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LIFE

Daughter: 'I didn’t get to say goodbye’

Sunday, March 6, 2011
(Updated 9:28 am)

— Marty Walden  took a walk with her children through her Guilford Hills neighborhood on a recent brisk evening, the stars bright in the night sky. As the chill set into her bones, a thought even colder set into her heart: “This is nothing like Mother felt.”

Edith Purvis  was discovered just yards from a locked door at Loyalton of Greensboro on Lawndale Drive about 3:30 a.m.  on Christmas Eve . She was wearing only her nightgown; hypothermia had set in. Purvis died a short while later at Moses Cone Hospital. She was 85.

State regulators swooped in to investigate and found that the assisted-living facility was not equipped to handle residents who might wander  because of memory loss or confusion.

The state banned Loyalton from accepting new residents. The legal implications continue to unfold.

The tragic loss of their mother haunts Marty Walden and her brother Chuck Purvis  every day.

“Because the facility didn’t take care of her,” Marty said, “I’m left with a picture of my mother lying on the ground frozen and her being alone and outside and confused.”

• • •

The Purvis family was like many in their day.

Marvin Purvis,  the breadwinner, worked as a car salesman throughout much of his life. Edith worked as a secretary at a local orthodontist’s office and was active in her church. Marty said her parents were firm but loving.

In 2007 , when Edith and Marvin’s health worsened, the family decided to help them move into Evergreens  nursing home in Greensboro.

Marty said seeing her parents’ move from their family home was an awful experience.

“There’s just no sense of the calm and privacy you get at your home,” she said. “It was tough. There were hard decisions we had to make, and it happened pretty quick.”

In 2009,  after years of heart trouble, Marvin died at age 86.  The loss was sudden and shocked Edith.

“She lived each day,” Marty said. “It was hard, but she survived and went on, but obviously there was a hole.”

While Edith’s health wasn’t the best — she suffered from heart problems and Parkinson’s disease — her mind remained sharp, so with her family’s help she decided to move into a home more suited to her.

Marty researched and visited Loyalton and liked the fact that it was smaller than many of the facilities she had considered. It would be easier, she thought, for her mother to get to know everyone.

Prior to Edith’s death, Loyalton had been cited only for minor infractions

And Loyalton was only about two miles  from Marty’s house, which meant she could drop in to see her mom regularly.

Edith and Marty liked that her room was much larger than the one she and Marvin had shared at Evergreens. Edith could fit more of her furniture in the room to make it feel more like home. The staff were pleasant, and because her mother was still clear-minded, Marty knew she would speak up if there were any problems.

“As far as I knew, this was a decent place,” Marty said. “I felt like she was getting good care.”

Last October,  Edith caught pneumonia and the family feared the worst. While she spent weeks in bed, Marty prepared herself for her mother’s death.

“She was so racked with the cough and so incredibly physically in pain, it was very hard to watch, and that’s when you want your loved one to get better or not be in pain any more,” she said. “It’s hard to watch someone you love in that much pain and not be able to do anything about it.”

Although Edith slowly rebounded physically, Marty noticed that her mother had become confused. Edith talked about people who were dead as though they were still living, especially her parents and Marvin. Edith once confused Marty for her sister, Brenda,  who died in 2000.  

“She wasn’t always oriented to a time or place,” Marty recalled.

Marty found humor in it sometimes, like when Edith reprimanded her for coming in after her high school curfew. But it also pained Marty to see her mother searching for lost loved ones like her father.

“You learn to lie to your parents to comfort them,” she said. “It sounds terrible, but that’s what you do to keep them from the pain.”

Marty understood that dementia could be an unfortunate but common problem of aging. She talked with a Loyalton nurse about it, she said, and the nurse told her they would re-evaluate Edith to see if she needed a higher level of care within the facility. Officials with Loyalton talked with Marty about end-of-life care for Edith.

“They told me they were perfectly equipped to handle that and that they would like for her to stay there where she would be comfortable,” Marty recalled.

• • •

Marty doesn’t remember much about Dec. 23, the last day she saw her mother alive. She’d dropped in to visit about 6:30 p.m.  but didn’t really talk about the Christmas holiday with her mother. At the time, Edith thought it was spring.

Before she left, Marty prayed with Edith, just as she’d done with her mother and father when they lived at Evergreens.

Praying  reminded Marty that she was leaving her parents in God’s hands, she said.

Marty sat on the edge of the bed, leaned over her mother and prayed.

“That God would comfort her and fill her with peace,” Marty said. “And I always prayed for the workers, that they would treat her with kindness and watch over her, and that she would sleep well and not feel any pain.”

Hours later, before sunrise on Christmas Eve, Marty awoke to a phone call from a Loyalton official who told her that Edith was in the hospital. The caller told her Edith had been found outside, but she was going to be OK.

By the time Marty got to Moses Cone  about 4:30 a.m.,  her mother was dead.

“Once the chaplain came out,” she said, “you knew what was going on.” 

• • •

Exactly what happened that night remains unclear. Loyalton staff reported seeing Edith about 11 p.m. and midnight. Staff told state investigators that Edith was noted as missing from her room about 2 a.m.  but another staffer believed she’d gone home with family for the holiday.

A search began only after staff discovered Edith’s medications were still on hand. By that time it was nearly 2:30 a.m.

At 3:30 a.m. , they called 911. They had found Edith outside on the ground. She was moaning and her skin was changing colors.

The next day, Loyalton installed alarms on its exit doors, a minimum state requirement for facilities that care for residents who might wander because of dementia.

Loyalton maintained that it worked with families to relocate residents with such problems to nursing homes. However, investigators noted at least five residents there who fit the designation. They also were told by staff during confidential interviews that patients had wandered off from the building before.

Loyalton officials say they have addressed every issue that the state cited in its report.

As for Marty, none of that provides comfort on those cold evenings when the image of her mother, on the ground and dying, pains her.

“My heart breaks every time I think about it or have to deal with it,” she said. “There was no closure. I didn’t get to say goodbye to my mother.”

Contact J. Brian Ewing at 627-4881, Ext. 120, or brian.ewing@news-record.com

Accompanying Photos

Joseph Rodriguez (News & Record)

Comments

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speakup2

March 6, 2011 - 9:44 am EST

Such a Sad Story. It scares me to death to think that I might live long enough to have to depend on strangers for my very life. I am also afraid of being a burden to my children. If we are lucky we will pass quickly before getting to a point like this in our lives.

Panacea

March 6, 2011 - 11:00 am EST

The Purvis case is a clear example of why North Carolina needs to change its regulations on assisted living facilities.

As it stands now, there is no regulatory requirement for AL facilities to move residents to nursing homes when they become too debilitated for the staff to handle. Although AL facilities are staffed with CNAs and medications aides (CNAs with extra training to pass meds) there is seldom a nurse on site in these facilities, and the staffing levels are not sufficient for the CNAs to handle heavy caseloads of dependent residents.

However, because AL facilities are the resident's "home" they are seldom encouraged to move to higher levels of care facilities (ie skilled nursing homes) because then the facility loses the income from that resident. That's why administration at Loyalton wanted Mrs. Purvis to stay there: for the check.

Dying is a long and complicated process. Once a person becomes unable to make independent decisions, or is physically unable to care for themselves (regardless of mental status), then they need a higher level of care--either in the home with a dedicated care giver, or in a skilled facility.

Assisted Living is a temporary solution. If we continue to expect that the staffs of these facilities can handle the dying, then tragedies like Edith Purvis will continue to happen.

To Marty Walden and Chuck Purvis: I was so sorry to read about your mother's death. I have prayed for her and for you and your famillies. I pray God gives you some peace.

Sunshinenpeaches

March 6, 2011 - 4:43 pm EST

I FEEL FOR THE FAMILY..MY PRAYERS GO OUT TO EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU. IT DID NOT HAVE TO HAPPEN...I HAVE WORKED IN REST HOMES AND ALSO GROUP HOMES. I NOW HAVE 4 PRIVATE PEOPLE THAT I CARE FOR MYSELF IN MY HOME. I JUST NOW GOT 2 FROM A REST HOME THAT REALLY NEEDS TO BE SHUT DOWN....I HAVE WORKED ON THEM SINCE FEB.9 AND STILL HAVING TO SCRUB THE DIRT OFF.. THEY SENT THEM WITH NASTY, DIRTY CLOTHES AND HALF DID NOT BELONG TO THEM....IT IS A SHAME!!!!BUT I DO NOT MIND...THEY ARE VERY HAPPY NOW AND LOVE IT HERE. THEY SAY THANK YOU EVERY DAY TO ME..THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY..ALSO THE PEOPLE THAT WORK IN SOME OF THESE PLACES ARE JUST THERE FOR A PAYCHECK AN REALLY DO NOT CARE...I HAVE SEEN SOME JUST SCREAM AT THE RESIDENTS...WALK AWAY..NO HEART!!!! THIS SHOULD NOT BE HAPPENING TO ANY HUMAN BEING AT ALL!!! OUR PARENTS CARED FOR US...SO WHY CAN'T WE CARE FOR THEM WHEN THEY GET OLDER..I UNDERSTAND SOME FAMILIES WORK AND IT IS HARD..SO CHECK THESE PLACES OUT..GO EVERYDAY WITHOUT NOTICE..SURPRISE THEM....LOOK AT YOUR FAMILIES BODY AND CLOTHES.....PUT YOURSELF IN THERE SHOES....THANK YOU HAVE A BLESSED DAY

kikablue

March 6, 2011 - 8:36 pm EST

It is so hard to lose a parent, child or spouse. But to lose one like this is deplorable. My heart goes out to all family members that entrust their loved ones to another person to care for them.

Sunshinenpeaches, if you had not used only large captions, your comment would be much easier to read.

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