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The Warrens are a big family with a Mom and Dad and seven children, ages 4 to 17. The entire family continues to benefit from their experiences with Win-Win Resolutions, a nonprofit in Guilford County.

“I am a much better parent now that I have participated with many of the Win-Win programs,” said mom, Tracee. “I am getting to know my children again in new ways — especially the three older children.”
Her older children, Tavish, Terence and Teresa, participated with her in the six-week family program.

“We have programs that provide wraparound services for the entire family,” said Debra Vigliano, founder and executive director of Win-Win.

The family program starts with dinner, and then children and adults meet simultaneously in age-appropriate classes. Then everyone gathers together for sharing and role playing.

“Our staff pulls out a 'conflict situation’ from the Win-Win Anonymous Conflict Box — where participants write a conflict they are having at home, school or work,” Vigliano said.

Using role playing, people from all age groups come up with solutions to these conflicts — using the new skills and common vocabulary they have learned, she said.

“It is a powerful process to observe as it creates a shared experience, ownership and validation of their positive choices,” she said.

Teresa, Tavish and Terence participated in two of Win-Win Resolutions original plays.

The plays were part of a partnership with the Greensboro Housing Authority “Operation Smart Choices” program through funding provided by the Governor’s Crime Commission. The teenagers wrote and then performed in two plays — on gang violence and substance abuse.

“When you take on a role and act, you learn a lot about yourself,” Tavish, the oldest son, said. “You figure out what is going on in your real life. And we made it real.”

Terence, the next son, created a poster for the play titled “On Second Thought.”

He said he started to think about what happens when you have bad behavior. “Friends really do influence you — and that can be good or real bad,” he said.

“Our sons amazed themselves when they acted on stage,” Tracee Warren said. “I cried. I could not help it.”

Through acting, the older children opened up to their parents, she said. “We found out through this time that one of our sons was attracted to joining a gang. Through this program, we discovered this, and we intervened before it was too late.”

Preschooler Tosh participated in the 28-week Pre-K Conflict Resolution Enrichment Workshop. At the beginning of the program, Tosh could not transition from one activity to another without having a “meltdown.” By the end, he could lead the way for others.

“They showed — through the puppets — extreme behavior and alternatives to that way of acting,” said dad, Terence Warren. “Situations — like on the playground. And then showed different ways to act. Simple but really helpful to my son.”

Going over to the classroom and watching helped him as a parent, Terence Warren said. “I went over as much as possible just to see what was happening,” he said. “I learned by noticing what these other adults did with the children. The whole thing was healing for me and my family. I learned all I could and then brought it home.”

Win-Win Resolutions works to reduces violence and prejudice in our schools and communities by teaching conflict resolution and positive social skills through interactive drama. All experiences are facilitated by a licensed counselor or social worker and a theater instructor.

Win-Win Resolutions guides students to develop positive interactive skills that they will use throughout their lives, specifically focusing on areas of anger management, preventing rumors that escalate into violence, and reinforcing the importance of respecting each other by embracing our diversities.

“The children were all excited about having something to do together — they acted, danced, wrote poetry and had this great time together,” Tracee Warren said. “It was both very entertaining for the children and also they learned a lot about themselves and others.”

“We all have troubles and we have no excuses to not succeed,” said teenage daughter Teresa.

She wrote a poem called “Or Else” about being true to yourself. She quotes her favorite lines: “Be yourself or else — Stop being careless or else. Give respect or else.”

Teresa wrote some lines for the play “Blessing in Disguise” that sum up the impact this program had on her family: “The choice we choose decides if we break ... now like a bird it’s time to fly — so live to the fullest and never let your dreams die.”

Ruth D. Anderson is executive director of The Servant Leadership School of Greensboro and chairwoman of programming for the Guilford Nonprofit Consortium.