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Back in 2007 ...

 John Edwards gets a call on his cell phone. The ring tone plays "I Feel Pretty."

"Hello."

"Hello, John. You're heading for disaster. I can help."

"Who is this?"

"Call me ... Nick Danger."

"I don't know anyone by that name. How'd you get my number?"

"I have my ways."

"Wait a minute. Your voice sounds familiar. Mike?"

"Hush. This may not be a secure phone. We need to meet. I'll send you an e-mail telling you where and when. It will come from Regnad Kcin."

"What was that?"

"Read it through a mirror."

 At dawn in a Brunswick County fishing shack ...

 "Mike, what's this all about?"

"Call me Nick."

"All right, Nick. What are you up to?"

"The question is what are you up to? And the answer is no good. You're about to blow your chance to be president."

"You know about ...?"

"Your blonde bimbo? Every detail. Don't ask me how. My business is to get you out of a tight spot."

"Your business?"

"That's right. The day job is only a cover. My real mission is saving wayward politicians from themselves."

"Being governor is only for show?"

"Oh, I had to work at it a little the first couple of years. I still use the office to pull a few strings now and then -- getting Mary a plush job over at State, for example. But most of the time since my re-election, I'm Nick Danger."

"Who's running the state?"

"It pretty much operates on its own. Everything's going just fine, as far as I know."

"How'd you get away to come down here?"

"I've got a guy who flies me around on the sly. No one misses me in Raleigh. Everyone thinks I'm down in the basement of the governor's mansion making furniture. Really, I couldn't glue two sticks together."

"But if you're out helping politicians, why have so many gone down? Like Jim Black."

"I offered to help Jim but he said he didn't need it. Never thought he'd get caught. He didn't figure on the feds coming in. Arrogant fool. Look where he is now. But believe me, there'd be quite a crowd of his former colleagues locked up with him if it wasn't for me."

"Like who?"

"That's confidential. Let's just say that the 'culture of corruption' in this state has been keeping me very busy. My top client at the moment, though, is the governor of another state who's lost his mind for some dame in South America. I came up with the perfect ruse for him. Every time he flies off to see her, he tells everyone he's hiking the Appalachian Trail and can't be reached. No one will ever catch on."

"Brilliant. But I thought we were here to talk about me. You think Rielle is going to get me into trouble? She's really special. I feel like she's my soul mate."

"Oh, brother. Where have I heard that before? Wise up, John. You're the Titanic on course to hit an iceberg."

"What should I do?"

"Get rid of her. Now, I know that won't be easy. She could go to the press. So you have to take steps to protect yourself."

"What steps?"

"First, you need to get your most trusted, loyal aide to be your fall guy. I've got one just in case things turn bad for me."

"Yeah, I've got the perfect guy. Andrew. Completely devoted. He would never betray me."

"Good. Next you're going to need cash. Millions for payoffs, expenses and my fee."

"Your fee?"

"Nick Danger isn't an amateur, buddy."

"Where do I get this money?"

"You mean if you're too cheap to cough it up yourself? In that case, you need a wealthy benefactor, someone who believes in you 100 percent and would do anything you ask."

"Yep. That's Bunny. She's in her 90s and loaded."

"Good. Now this money has to be handled carefully. You don't want the FEC or IRS to get wind of it. Have her deliver the cash inside boxes of chocolate."

"Where'd you get that idea?"

"I picked up a lot of tricks prosecuting drug dealers."

"Then what?"

"Then, whatever you do, make sure Elizabeth stands by your side. She's your best asset. The public loves her."

"No worries there. She wants the White House as much as I do."

"Great. Remember me when you get there. I'd love to head the CIA."

 Contact Doug Clark at dgclark@news-record.com or 373-7039.