news-record.com

This time of year I'm hunting a box of Godiva, mindful that 1) my wife loves chocolate and 2) there's anecdotal evidence chocolate is an aphrodisiac.

And now I've stumbled over a recent study linking moderate consumption of wine by women to -- um, how do I put this delicately -- a heightened sense of amore.

Researchers at the University of Florence, Italy, studied the wine consumption and sexual response cycle of 800 women ages 18 to 50. They concluded, somewhat less delicately: Women who drank two glasses of wine a day are more sexually active than those who abstain. That same research included a side note: Dark chocolate, also rich in antioxidants, is said to similarly affect female libido.

Su-weet. And it's research. You can look it up.

Red wine's link to cardiac health and cancer-fighting compounds is well known. But wine and sex? Seems I stumbled into that discovery back in college -- long before those Italian scientists. But I was enrolled in journalism and failed miserably to appreciate placebo effects, blind studies, regression toward the mean and valid sampling.

With Valentine's Day drawing nigh, this chocolate/wine thing sets a mind to racing. And so I broach it with my wife, with my instinctive guile and savoir faire.

Me: Says here, I give you chocolate and wine, you turn into Super Freak.

She: One super freak in this household is enough.

Me: Oh no, this is research. You can look it up. Says here chocolate has chemicals that elevate dopamine and seratonin in the brain, same as when people take Ecstasy.

She: We're both too old for Ecstasy.

Me: You're never too old for ... I'm talking Godiva here, not drugs.

She: You never know what you're going to get with a box of chocolates.

Me: Says here I'll get nothing if I don't bring a box of chocolates.

She: Did you also read how chocolate has a laxative effect? Does that turn you on?

Me: Well, uh ... .

She: Look, I know chocolates. The two chemicals -- phenylethylamine and trypophan -- come in such small increments as to have the most negligible of effect. You'd have to pound back super-freak doses. At which point, there's that laxative effect. So, let's not go there.

Me: But, um, I got you this box of Godiva ... .

She: Did you know that studies have found that women -- when anyone bothers to ask -- would choose chocolates over sex? Now, that's research. You can look it up.

I can see what's she's doing. Thirty years of marriage gives me the Sixth Sense to reverse direction.

Me: Says here, two glasses of red wine will heighten your, um, says here you'll get frisky if you'd try some more Chianti. Let me freshen up that glass.

She: Let me understand. This research is from Italy? One of the world's biggest wine producers? Where Italian men have a certain predisposed view toward women?

Me: Hey, this is research. You can look it up.

She: OK, Doc, let me lay it on you. That same wine makes you Happy -- then less Bashful. I like that. Then you get all Sneezy, followed by Grumpy and Dopey and not necessarily in that order. And it ends that same old way, Sleepy.

I can see where she's headed. But that whole dwarf thing, what's that all about? I return to reading the Italian research. It concludes: "A thorough comprehension of the mechanics underlying female sexuality remains difficult."

And that's why I'm ordering roses.

* * * * * *

Some last-minute ideas, in North Carolina wine country, for your special Valentine.

Raffaldini Vineyards (Ronda) in the Yadkin Valley hosts "Learn the Language of Amore!" Feb. 14. This Italian language workshop is hosted by Tina Raffaldini, a linguistics professor and Raffaldini family member. The free workshops are at 1 and 3 p.m. Call (336) 835-9463 or info@raffaldini.com.

That's how you might cap the weekend. Start this way: "For the Love of Chocolate ... and Wine!" at the Vineyards of Swan Creek from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Feb. 13. All the vineyard-wineries in the Swan Creek appellation -- each about six miles from each other -- are hosting chocolate and wine themes. Information: www.swancreek vineyards.com

Here's who's hooking up:

Laurel Gray -- Cabernet Sauvignon with Cabernet Chocolate sauce

Dobbins Creek -- Reserve Merlot with Dark Chocolate

Shadow Springs -- Dark Shadow: Chocolate-infused red wine

Raffaldini -- Sangiovese and Wine-infused Chocolate Brownie

Buck Shoals -- Chambourcin fudge with Chambourcin

Some other ideas?

Grove Winery (Gibsonville) Valentines Wine Dinner. Feb. 13. www.grovewinery.com

Childress Vineyards (Lexington) Valentine's Getaway. Feb. 13. www.childressvineyards.com

Round Peak Vineyards (Mount Airy) Valentine's Wine Release Party. Feb. 13. www.roundpeak.com

The Winery at Iron Gate Farm (Mebane) Wine, Roses & Romance. Feb, 14, A wine dinner with roses and music. Includes drawing for a one-night B&B stay. www.irongate vineyards.com. Sold out.

Autumn Creek Vineyards (Mayodan) Valentine's Blue Band Music. Feb. 14. www.autumncreekvineyards.com

* * * * * *

Some Valentine wine recommendations that may (or may not) fit your style.

2008 Folie a Deux Menage a Trois ($9): Abundant black and red berry fruit swirled in silk, this California blend of Zinfandel, Merlot and Cabernet Sauvignon is a twisted delight. Velvety tannin and complex fruit.

2008 Tempra Tantrum Tempranillo/Merlot ($10): This fun mating from Spain is spicy red cherry and plum, emphasizing forward fruit and soft textures. It's 60 percent Tempranillo, Spain's signature red grape.

2007 Screw Kappa Napa Chardonnay ($13): Great value from Don Sebastiani & Sons, a negociant sourcing quality fruit. Orange blossom, mango, grapefruit, lemon, honey and granny apple aromas and flavors.

2008 Four Vines Naked Chardonnay ($13): The apple, peach and pear fruit shine through this crisp white, fermented in stainless steel. California's Four Vines has a reputation for powerful Zinfandels and eclectic Rhone blends, but shows a deft hand with ubiquitous Chardonnay.

Ed Williams is public information director for Alamance Community College. This column publishes the first Wednesday of each month. If you have news of an event, send e-mail to williamsonwine@gmail.com.