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Q. My grandmother, 85 , fell and broke her arm. She lives in Rockingham County . When I got there, a friend was with her. The friend said she would take care of my grandmother, and my grandmother insisted that she do it. The friend said she is a minister and a nurse and has done this sort of thing before.

I am a dialysis patient and had an appointment the next day, so I agreed to let my grandmother stay with the friend temporarily. The woman took my grandmother to her house in Virginia . When I went to see my grandmother, I started asking the woman questions to see if she was capable of taking care of her. The woman asked me to leave her house. I have gone back to get my grandmother, including once with police, but she wouldn’t leave.

I have since discovered the friend has been emptying my grandmother’s savings account — the money she lives on. I have power of attorney to handle her care and her finances. The woman she’s living with has limited power of attorney.

My grandmother no longer talks to me or to my brothers. Previously, she called me several times a day. Where can I get help?

— Julius Ross Greensboro

A. Local experts in elder care and abuse say yours is a cautionary tale for anyone with a loved one who may suffer from dementia and fall victim to undue influence by a caregiver.

Fortunately, your story has a happy ending. Once you recognized the red flags — changes in your grandmother’s behavior toward her family, Social

Security payments disappearing from her savings account — you did all the right things.

But more about that later.

Dr. Michele Haber , a local specialist in geriatric medicine , suspects this woman may have isolated your grandmother . Your grandmother, who takes medication for dementia, became dependent on the woman and didn’t have the power to resist.

Elder abuse or exploitation can result in criminal charges or civil litigation, according to Greensboro attorney Frank Johns , an expert in elder law .

“The problem is, at 85 with a broken arm, she becomes beholden to and in need of whoever the caregiver is at the time,” Johns explained. “Since this other person is the caregiver, grandmother is listening to everything she is saying and grandmother may be unduly influenced by her. that includes ... not allowing the individual to communicate with her relatives.”

The experts we contacted agreed that your case is complicated by the fact that your grandmother was moved across state lines. They suggested you contact the Department of Social Services in Virginia for help.

“This is technically an exploitation case, and the DSS in Virginia has a legal right to investigate,” said Kim Dawkins Berry , the executive director of the Piedmont Triad Council of Governments’ Area Agency on Aging .

“There are so many things unknown about the case: Did the grandmother just up and leave her home? Is she competent? The DSS in the county where the woman and the grandmother are residing is required by law to investigate within 48 hours.”

Berry’s advice turned out to be spot on: Your call to the DSS in Virginia sparked a visit by a social worker with Adult Protective Services , who found your grandmother alone in the woman’s Danville house and more than willing to talk — about how much she wanted to come home.

Your grandmother apparently had signed papers allowing the woman access to her bank account, but did not remember doing so.

“The social worker told me to stay positive — this may be over sooner than later,” you told the News & Record in a follow-up conversation. “She said my grandmother told her, 'I want to go see my grandson. I want to go home.’”

Just a few days after that DSS visit, she did just that. The woman packed your grandmother’s things and drove her to Greensboro.

“As soon as Grandma got in our car (in Greensboro), she would not stop talking,” you said. “She was telling us how the lady was saying, 'Don’t be going up there and telling lies on me.’ If you didn’t have anything to hide, why would you say this?’”

Did a crime take place? You certainly could approach the proper authorities for an opinion.

You’ve been smart to keep notes and record conversations with your grandmother, so you may be able to provide sufficient evidence for criminal prosecution.

We understand that your grandmother’s home in Eden , where she raised you and your brothers after your mother passed away in 1975 , is now in foreclosure because the woman failed to pay the bills. If it’s not too late, pursuing the matter in court might help you save the house.

Johns said you may want to contact a board-certified elder law attorney in the Danville area.

Another loose end Haber recommends you tie up: Have your grandmother evaluated by a doctor to make sure she is getting the proper medications and is physically in good shape.

A great resource for families such as yours, Haber said, is Senior Resources of Guilford . The nonprofit offers a wide range of services, activities and support for older adults and their caregivers, including home-delivered meals and a senior center. Call (336) 373-4816 or visit www.senior-resources-guilford.org to find out more.

And about that happy ending?

We caught up with you after Thanksgiving to find out how your family is faring. We’ll let you share the rest of the story:

“Grandmother is doing great. ... At our Thanksgiving meal, she said she was thankful for being here, thankful for this family. A lot of us like to have broke down.

“The Lord is touching us. We’ve been blessed.

“On top of everything, that week I was notified that I was put on the donor list for a new kidney transplant. So I had a lot to be thankful for. Yes, I had a great Thanksgiving.”

— Betsi Robinson