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THE CALLING

Ken Carder was a student pastor, just 20, giving his first eulogy.

“Fortunately, I shared the leadership of the service with a veteran pastor who sensed my nervousness,” said Carder, a professor of the practice of Christian ministry at Duke University’s Divinity School. The man told him, in a supportive tone, that this would be No. 921 for him.

“I was astounded at the number and remarked, ‘I guess you have gotten used to doing funerals.’ His reply impacted my ministry over the last 48 years. ‘No, son, I have never gotten comfortable doing funerals — and if I do, it will be time for me to stop doing them.’”

The road to ministry for new clergy runs through transition, celebration and crisis. From the first funeral to the first wedding, this learning ground is plowed with nervousness, joys and sorrows.

It was the day after ordination in the United Church of Christ in 1998 that Rhonda Davis performed the funeral of a 4-year-old who had just died of leukemia.

“I saw that I was called to do this work, as hard as it is,” said Davis, now the chaplain associate for pastoral care at First Presbyterian Church in Greensboro.

“I probably learned that I could put my emotions on hold long enough to attend to a tragic situation, to attend to the family’s need, and to trust that in time I would be able to care for my own emotions,” Davis said.

Other local clergy have similar memories.

THE RESPONSE

Ken Kroohs, pastor, St. Christopher’s Episcopal Church, High Point (www.st-christopher.org)

Ordination: June 26, 1996, Episcopal Church

“My quick response when asked how I went from engineering and city planning to clergy is, ‘I didn’t have a choice.’

“I kept getting more and more involved in leadership roles in the church despite being more comfortable in the background. I began asking questions when a friend who was ordained in his 40s told me to ‘try anything else’ and ‘tell God, No!’ If you can live with that answer, it is the right one.

“During a weekend workshop on ‘Knowing God’s plan for your life,’ the leader said, ‘God is only asking you to take the next step — not the entire journey at once.’

“I took that to heart and began the process fully comfortable that it could end any time — the Episcopal ordination process is long, five years more or less, and complex. During one interview, I remember them asking how I would feel if they ‘re-directed’ me away from ordination.

“I told them I was not looking forward to three more years in school with no pay, followed by a dramatic cut in pay — so if they ‘re-directed’ me — that would be great! I was later told by a committee member that every other person (they asked) almost broke into tears. They really liked my response!”

THE MEMORIAL

Carole Drexel, interfaith minister to the public (www.honorthemoment.com)

Ordination: June 12, 2005, The New Seminary

“I was honored when my cousin’s family asked me to officiate at Liz’s memorial. Then the apprehension set in with my wondering if I could really pull it off. I really wanted to do a great job.

“I went through all my school papers and read everything about memorials. It had to be a tribute to Liz’s life, so I called each family member to get their sense of Liz and ask if they’d like to participate, and slowly the ceremony came together.

“A theme emerged of Liz’s life with Maya Angelou’s poem about a caged bird in the forefront. Liz loved the poet and Liz wrote poetry herself which would be read by her sister. Finally the day before I was to fly out, I just needed an ending song to have the service complete.

“In a quiet moment I called out to Liz’s spirit and asked, ‘Hey, Liz, tell me what song you’d like to close your service?’

Silence, nothing happened and all of a sudden I was humming. What was I humming? ‘One fine morning, when this life is over, I’ll fly away, I’ll fly away, oh glory, I’ll fly away....’”

THE SERMON

Cardes Brown, pastor, New Light Missionary Baptist Church (www.nlmbc.com)

Ordination: April 1965, Old Eastern Association of Baptists Churches

“I was a little arrogant — with what I thought to be ability, after having been under the tutelage for a number of years of preachers who were great pulpiteers.

“I was a sophomore at A&T when I was called into the ministry, and speaking before the Old Eastern Association (gathering of churches) was a privilege for someone so young. The pastors would sit around the pulpit and sort of encourage you.

“I chose as a subject, ‘The twin doctrines of salvation.’ I was really going to show these old men how to speak — I thought. Little did I know, as they sat there no doubt sensing my arrogance, that I was treading on dangerous waters, because as the Scripture says, ‘He that exalt himself shall be abased. He that humbled himself shall be exalted.’

“It was (soon) obvious to me that I was not making very much progress. I seemed to have forgotten my point and I saw myself drowning. I could hear one of the old men say, ‘Help him, Lord.’
 

“After finishing — after stopping, I don’t think I ever finished — I walked back into a little room. My father followed me. I said, ‘Daddy, I made a mess.’ He said, ‘You sure did, son. You went up today like a lion and God brought you down like a lamb. From now on, go up like a lamb and God might be pleased to allow you to come down like a lion.’

“For almost 45 years now, I have remembered that I am helpless to do what I am called to do, unless God sends the anointing.”

THE WEDDING

Susan Kennedy, interfaith minister and professional counselor (www.perfectcircleweddings.com)

Ordination: June 13, 1998, The New Seminary

“I was early for my first wedding, so I stopped at a yard sale on the way. I kind of forgot that I was wearing my vestments — full length purple robe, white stole with gold symbols embroidered all the way down.

“I started looking through some stuffed animals for my nieces and one of (the women) said, ‘If you need those for your Sunday school, please, just take them!’ I told them I was just looking for something for my nieces, but they insisted that it would make them feel so much better to donate them to a member of clergy.

“When I arrived at the wedding site, everyone treated me as though I were something supernatural, spoke in hushed voices, some literally bowed their heads when I walked by. Not during, but way before the service. I was just amazed how much respect that vestment seemed to bestow on me — as though I weren’t now just a reverend but also was deserving of reverence!

“I’d done a lot of work in theater before becoming clergy and had no problems at all being on stage or speaking to large groups but, combined with the reverence with which everyone was treating me, and the realization that I now had the legal right to join these two people together for life in the eyes of the law — Wow! The right words from me and they went from being single to being married! Terrified and humbled would aptly describe that first time!”

THE PILGRIMAGE

Peter Hazelrigg, Presbyterian campus minister, UNCG and Greensboro College (www.pcmgreensboro.org)

Ordination: Aug. 15, 2004, Presbyterian Church (USA)

“Several years ago, I decided to walk the pilgrimage trail to Santiago in Spain. It was the summer before my last year of seminary.

“A classmate of mine and I planned to walk a 375-mile section of the trail across northern Spain starting at the French border. So for months we planned and mapped and walked and packed. We were prepared for anything the weather or the terrain could throw at us. We had enormous packs full of gear and provisions: tent, mini camping stove, medical supplies. Let’s just say we were loaded down with worldly goods.

“Yet one of the themes of pilgrimage is the idea of simplicity. It is like Jesus sending the disciples out in Matthew’s Gospel (chapter 10) and telling them to take nothing with them, not even a second tunic.

“After a week of carrying all this stuff, and 90 miles, we had started to learn that it wasn’t necessary. In fact it was slowing us down and growing physically burdensome. We took out the tent, for example, when we realized that there were shelters in every town.

“Indeed, this was all part of the pilgrimage, as we came to learn. To shed the trappings of the world that we somehow thought we could never live without.

“It took a month, but we finally were acting as if God really would provide for us.”

Contact Nancy McLaughlin at 373-7049 or nancy.mclaughlin@news-record.com