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Here's a preview of President Obama's Town Hall meeting in Raleigh today ... if audience members are allowed to ask really interesting questions:

Q. Mr. President, will you scrimmage with the Wolfpack basketball players while you're here today?

A. I wish I had time. I know I could score against those guys.

Q. Professor Henry Louis Gates once taught at Duke but thought North Carolina was racist. What's your opinion?

A. Skip Gates is a friend of mine, so I'm probably biased, and I don't know all the facts, but I think the people in Durham were really stupid to treat him so badly.

Q. What do you think of the new ban on public smoking in North Carolina?

A. Darn. I thought this was going to be the one state where I could get away with a smoke.

Q. Mr. President, have you considered granting a pardon to Jim Black, the former speaker of our state House of Representatives?

A. I'm only going to grant one pardon per state and I've promised yours to Mike Easley if he ever needs it.

Q. Our new Democratic governor, Bev Perdue, has an approval rating of only 25 percent. What advice would you give her, Mr. President?

A. I'd advise her to switch parties. With a number like that, she ought to be a Republican.

Q. Mr. President, will you tell the Navy to keep its OLF out of North Carolina?

A. I'm confused. Isn't this the state that claims to be military-friendly? You want the bases, take the landing field.

Q. I lost my job. The unemployment rate is 11 percent. Where's the stimulus?

A. Ask Gov. Perdue. I sent it to her.

Q. Mr. President, do you think John Edwards can make a political comeback?

A. No, but Elizabeth asked me to give him a job in my administration -- ambassador to North Korea.

Q. Mr. President, do you think Sen. Kay Hagan is doing a good job so far?

A. She's doing an outstanding job, except when she voted to let more people carry concealed handguns across state lines. Now we have to check her bag every time she visits the White House.

Q. Sir, Sen. Hagan also says she's not on board health care reform if it adds to the deficit. What do you say?

A. If Sen. Hagan believes more people carrying concealed handguns won't increase shootings, she also should believe more government health care won't add to the deficit.

Q. Will you campaign against Republican Sen. Richard Burr next year?

A. I will. He voted for that gun amendment, too. We don't need nuts like that in Washington.

Q. Sir, a federal grand jury just indicted seven North Carolina men on charges of stockpiling weapons and conspiring to commit violent jihad. Were you shocked?

A. About the jihad, yes. Stockpiling weapons? Judging from the attitudes of your senators, I thought everyone in North Carolina was armed to the teeth.

Q. Mr. President, Bank of America is headquartered in Charlotte. Do you think people will regain confidence in BOA under your leadership?

A. Look, I'm not running the banks or any private corporations. But I am pleased to announce that I'll give a free Chevy Volt to anyone who deposits at least $100,000 in a BOA account.

Q. Mr. President, you're promoting renewable energy, but North Carolina doesn't allow wind turbines in the mountains where it's very breezy. What can you do about this?

A. We'll turn the Blue Ridge Parkway, which is federal property, into the world's longest wind farm if we have to. No one is entitled to an unobstructed view of beautiful natural scenery when there's an energy crisis.

Q. What about oil and natural gas exploration off our coast?

A. Who wants to see a drilling platform when you're at the beach?

Q. Do you prefer Eastern-style or Lexington-style barbecue?

A. I learned this when I was campaigning here last year. My answer is "yes."

Contact Doug Clark at dgclark@news-record.com or 373-7039.