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A bad day at the Easleys':

"Mike, are you awake yet? There's something on TV you should see."

"Mary, you know I sleep late on Mondays."

"Like every day. Now, please get up."

"What is it? Have the media dug up the rest of my travel records?"

"You said those would never be found."

"Unless somebody kept copies."

"Let's hope not. Anyway, this is almost as bad: The news is reporting that Jim Oblinger just resigned."

"Why?"

"He says for the good of the university."

"What kind of reason is that?"

"He also says I ought to do the same thing."

"That wimp. You're tougher than that. They'll never bring you down."

"I don't know. First McQueen resigned, then Larry, now Jim. They're acting like there was something wrong going on over there. Was there, Mike?"

"Absolutely not. Everything was on the up and up."

"You promise you never used your influence?"

"Of course not. You got that job because you're brilliant. Uniquely qualified. They had to have you, and no one else."

"Oh, Mike. You're so sweet."

Later:

"Mike, where are you?"

"Down in my shop working on your Christmas furniture."

"Well, get up here -- now!"

"What is it, honey?"

"Don't honey me. Now the news is reporting that e-mails show you were involved from the start in getting me that job. You even had your office staff working on it!"

"They were supposed to delete all those e-mails."

"These came from State."

"Now, Mary, you can't believe everything you see on the news. Those people are out to get us. Just think about it. Why would I go to all that trouble to get you a job at a state university when you could have gone to work for any big law firm at a half-million-dollar salary?"

"Mike, you know I didn't have any offers like that."

"You could have if I'd put the word out to any of my supporters ... um, just kidding, Mary."

"Mike, tell me the truth."

"I always do. The fact is, it was McQueen who contacted me. He wanted you on board over there, said it would be the best thing ever for State."

"That McQueen. He was always looking out for us."

"You don't know the half of it."

"And I don't want to, in case I'm ever subpoenaed."

Mrs. Easley's cell phone beeps:

"Hello, Erskine.

"You want me to do what?

"Erskine, I have a contract through 2013. I expect the university to honor it.

"What? You have no right to threaten me.

"Well, we'll see about that. Goodbye."

"What did he want?"

"He asked me to resign ... or else."

"What a loser. He's always been jealous of me because I can win elections and he can't. He'd better not mess with us."

Later:

"Mike!"

"What now, baby?"

"The news says the trustees have fired me!"

"Dang. I did favors for half those people. They never would have tried to pull that off if I was still governor."

"Well, what are you going to do about it?"

"I'm thinking. But what about your contract?"

"It's terminated. They eliminated all my duties."

"All of them?"

"That's what it says."

"What were they, anyway?"

"Well, I don't remember. The point is I'm out $680,000!"

"No way. That contract is legally binding. They're going to pay off."

"You're right. They owe me."

"They owe both of us. I worked hard as governor for four years and earned a few favors. I gave this state the lottery. Aren't I entitled to a jackpot?"

"Of course you are, darling. It's terrible how ungrateful people are after all you've done. Who would want to be governor, anyway, if you can't enjoy the privileges of your position? I took a couple of little trips to Europe and everyone acted like I was Marie Antoinette. It's a big scandal if someone gives me a car to drive, without even a chauffeur. And now this."

"We may not be appreciated, but we're going to get what's coming to us."

"Who are you calling?"

"Our lawyer. If he wants to earn his keep, he'll see to it that State pays for treating you so rudely."

 Contact Doug Clark at dgclark@news-record.com or 373-7039.