news-record.com

I woke up the other morning, pulled on my “dog-walking” clothes and made my way to the coffee pot. There on the kitchen counter was an envelope with my name and my husband’s name on it.

It was a thank-you note from Andy Schlimmer, a friend of our son’s.

First, you need to understand that this is a spring of transitions for our family and the Schlimmers. Drew and Andy just graduated from college— Drew from Virginia Tech and Andy from Presbyterian College in Clinton, S.C. Drew is pursuing a career in golf; Andy is headed to law school.

To say that it seems like just yesterday that they graduated from High Point Central High School is an understatement. Frankly, it seems like just yesterday that my late brother Todd Carter told us that a graduate school classmate of his (Andy’s mom) had a son who was nearly as neat as his nephew  Drew. That  was nearly 20 years ago.

Friendships have a way of ignoring time, but they never stop touching your heart. In Andy’s sweet note , he thanked us for our support, our friendship and for always opening our home to him. His sentiments brought tears to our  eyes .

We don’t always know what we’re doing when we raise our children. I couldn’t get mine to sleep through the night for the first 10 months.

Through the years, I made my share of parenting mistakes.  But for all of the blunders, I think I did a few things right by our son and his friends. And those are the tidbits of wisdom I’d like to share with all of you parents who are juggling children, PTA, careers, soccer leagues and sleepovers.

• Welcome your children’s friends into your homes and treat them as your own. That means enforcing the same rules. Trust me, the good ones will abide by them and respect you for it.

• Don’t worry about the dust on the furniture, the wrinkled sheets on the bed or the unfolded laundry in the hamper by your spot on the couch. All good mothers fold laundry — and a lot of us do that while talking with the kids.

• Keep ingredients for brownies and cookies in your cupboard, and  remember this: You’re never too tired to fix a snack for the kids. OK, I admit that I’ve taken  shortcuts, but nothing says “home” like warm chocolate and cold milk.

• There’s always room for one more at your table. It’s just like the parable of the loaves and fishes. When the phone rings and your child asks if we have enough food for one more, always — yes, always — say “yes.” I’ve taken three chicken breasts and split them in half and ended up with food to spare.  

• During those precious meals, sit back and listen. We’ve had kids tell us their deepest secrets and fears, share their concerns about troubled friends and come to us for advice, and I’m convinced it was because we listened. Most of the time we didn’t need to say a word. The important thing is that we were there and that the kids trusted us.

So, once again I read Andy Schlimmer’s note.

“Thank you both for the support that I have received from both of you. Without the two of you, I would not be where I am today. ... Not many people can say they have been befriended like I have by all of you. As I begin a new chapter in my life, I take with me genuine experiences and friendships.”

To Andy and to all of the other friends who’ve graced our home these past 22 years, I have to say that the pleasure has been ours.

Please know that there will always been a seat for you at our table and a warm brownie for dessert.

Contact Cathy Weaver at CWeaverNR@gmail.com