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GREENSBORO — Bhola Timsina's family left their native Bhutan 17 years ago with few possessions and an uncertain future.

They had no idea where, or how they might live. They only knew they were headed to India. The sun shone brightly on that May day, one that Timsina, now 28, says he will never forget.

"... the air was pleasant and was just whispering (to) us, 'bye forever,' " Timsina recalls.

He was just 11 years old. Neither he, nor his parents, thought of America that day. They certainly had never heard of Greensboro, N.C. That they would one day learn English, drive a car or eat pizza was as preposterous as boarding a spaceship.

Instead, they imagined -- hoped -- that they might someday return home to Bhutan. Their homeland is a country, about half the size of Indiana, bordered by China and India. The Timsinas are among hundreds of thousands of south Bhutanese of Nepalese ancestry, who began leaving the country in the late 1980s. The government, considering them a political threat, imposed several discriminatory measures, including closing their schools and Hindu temples, and forcing them from their homes. Most fled to India and Nepal.

The Timsinas walked for two days to reach India. They used a large piece of plastic to make a tent for shelter, and foraged the forest for firewood. Once they reached the border between India and Bhutan, they sold their cattle to pay for transportation to Nepal. Many of their countrymen died of malaria and pneumonia in India, Timsina says.

The Timsinas and four other families -- in all, 25 people -- reserved a single truck to take them to a refugee camp in Nepal. The vehicle had just four seats.

"There were sick, old age, children and disability (sic) among us," Timsina says.

Some of them rode on the hood of the truck, and others sat atop the luggage. Timsina, who sat between suitcases, recalls the pungent odor of their sweat: "I was just there, and felt exactly as (if I were) in a dungeon."

More than halfway into their journey, a fierce thunderstorm raged, sounding like an airplane overhead.

"My dad, uncle, brother and other older people could only shout from the roof, but the driver never stopped the truck," Timsina says.

His now 83-year-old father, Tulsi, still talks about it.

"I will never forget until my last breath," Tulsi Timsina says.

Neither will Bhola Timsina.

He says "to adopt in a new place is like birth.

"Truly spoken, we have been born many times and died many times," he says.

Living by sharing

The Timsinas made it to a refugee camp in Nepal. Together.

They shared a single hut with few rooms, and walls lined with Nepalese newspapers. They lived more than 16 years in Nepal's second largest Bhutanese refugee camp, which held about 20,000 people.

In time, Bhola became a teacher. His brother Homa married and had five children. His brother Dilli was married and had three young children before they left Bhutan. They lived in a separate hut in the refugee camp, and had another son while there.

The Timsinas couldn't become Nepalese citizens, and returning to Bhutan meant living with minimal rights. Their only options: to stay in the camp or apply for resettlement elsewhere. Many of their friends and relatives were scattered throughout the world: Australia, New Zealand, the Netherlands, Norway, the U.S. and Canada. Bhola considered just one country.

"I had hoped for America, a place of opportunity, common home of worldy people ..." Bhola says.

Last summer, his wish was granted.

Bhola, his parents, and brother Homa's wife and five children arrived in Greensboro last June. They are living as they did in Nepal. Together. Ten people in one three-bedroom apartment in the Hunters Glen complex.

Bhola's father, Tulsi, insists on sleeping on the living room floor. His mother, Tulasa, shares a room with her four granddaughters, ages 4 to 14. Brother Homa, shares a room with wife, Lila, and their 18-month-old son, Puskhar. Bhola sleeps in the other bedroom.

Two weeks after their arrival, Bhola's brother Dilli arrived with his wife, Devi, and their four children. In February, Devi's brother, Dasarath, joined them. They all share a two-bedroom apartment at Hunters Glen. The men sleep in one bedroom, the women in the other.

There was an opportunity for Bhola and his parents to move into their own apartment. But it's more economical to share expenses. Bhola, who knows English best, is the only one currently with a full-time job, earning $7.80 an hour. He commutes to High Point, leaving home about 6 a.m. His brother, an ordained Hindu priest, lost a full-time factory job when he was injured. He works about 10 hours a week, but wants full-time employment.

The Timsinas prefer to live together. Bhola's mother babysits Nirjala, 4, and little Puskhar while their parents work or attend class to learn English.

Bhola's 14-year-old niece, Yasoda, says she likes living with her uncle and grandparents. She helps her mother cook, clean, and manage her siblings.

"Uncle will help me when I am in trouble (with school work), and Grandpa and Grandma are older now, and can't cook," she says. "In our culture, we don't leave the father and mother. We don't have to do that."

Bhola's father, 83, has survived about 20 years longer than the average Bhutanese man.

Bhola says attitudes about intergenerational living reflect a nation's economic system. In wealthier countries, families can afford to live separately. Still, he believes children shouldn't leave their parents, especially in their elder years. He says parents serve their children from the womb through adulthood. Children should serve their parents, when they can't care for themselves.

"In America, the kids ... leave for romance. That is not good in my opinion," he says. "They flee away for entertainment and rejoicing and when (parents) grow old, they come back."

In the other Timsina household, brother Dilli's family mostly relies on daughter Bhumika's housekeeper salary at UNCG. Though their daughter helps support them, Dilli and Devi keep everyone connected to their homeland. Dilli, especially, speaks of Bhutan often.

In Bhutan, Dilli owned cattle, goats and oxen. He grew rice, corn, wheat and vegetables. Bhumika, 22, can recite her father's stories: "We have a big land. We have many cattles. I used to work in the morning with the sound of the hen."

Her uncles and aunts all worked together on the farm. The women prepared the meals. The men plowed the fields and milked the cows in the evenings. Bhumika says her parents cry when they speak of their farm in Bhutan. She was just 5 when they left it. But when they talk, their memories become her own.

"I make a picture in my mind," she says.

That's what the Timsinas do. They share what they have with each other, whether it's memories, money or food. And they do so without complaint.

"We are living by sharing," Bhola Timsina oftens says.

Namaste (welcome) to the Timsinas

As the Timsinas flew over the Atlantic Ocean, dreaming of America, a group of Greensboro residents worked to help make their transition easier.

Members of the Irving Park United Methodist Church agreed to work with the refugee resettlement organization Lutheran Family Services to sponsor the Timsinas. The church collected items the newcomers might need for their home: furniture, clothing, cleaning supplies and toiletries. They also arranged for transportation to social services and the social security office. By the time the Timsinas landed, they had basic neccessities, but their apartment had a broken air conditioner, a ceiling that leaked, a clogged sink and front door that didn't close properly. Church volunteers helped correct these issues.

The Timsinas had lot to learn those first few months: hygiene and westernized cleaning practices, such as the proper way to clean a toilet or wash dishes. They had to learn currency and how to use public transportation.

Then there were safety issues. Some of the church members had seen drug paraphenalia around the apartment complex. The Timsinas needed to learn safety precautions. Keep the doors locked. Tell the children not to talk to strangers. Don't invite strangers inside.

Former Peace Corps volunteers Jana Carroll and Chrissy Kohrt also helped the Timsina's transition. Carroll served about two and half years in Nepal in the early 1990s. She's part of the N.C. Nepali Association listserve, and learned about the Timsinas arrival through it. Carroll wanted to help, since she was familiar with Nepali culture. The Timsinas call her Jana "didi," which translates "older sister."

Church member Celia Kiser once helped a Sudanese refugee family. They lost touch when the family moved away. When she agreed to help the Timsinas, she learned all she could about Bhutan. Kiser now says she's benefitted more from their relationship than the Timsinas.

It's easy to cross that line between helping someone and doing too much for them, she says. Volunteers who work with refugees often find it hard to refuse their requests for help.

"I might have done more than I should have for them. I don't know any other way to have done it," Kiser says.

But it's hard to say "No," when they really need your help. And when you like them so much. She describes the family as "charming, and quick to laugh."

"I just genuinely like them. One thing I've said to people, even the first week they were here. It was like I knew them my whole life," she says. "I really do feel that connected to them."

She describes Bhola as the "rock star" of the family, for his westernized clothing and aviator sunglasses. Think Tom Cruise in "Top Gun."

"Bhola is just a person that you just see so much potential in him," Kiser says. "There's got to be opportunities and people willing to help out a little bit for him to realize his potential here."

Once he starts driving more, his family will need Kiser less. She wonders if one day, she might go to their apartment and they could say they didn't need her help.

Nah.

"I don't see it ever ending, really ... it's interesting to see what their lives are going to be like in five years," she says.

Born yet again

The Timsina's home in Greensboro doesn't look overcrowded.

A neat row of shoes line the brick wall near the door. Like many Asian families, the Timsinas don't wear shoes inside their home. Couches and chairs are pushed against the living room wall, leaving a lot of open floor space in the middle of the room. Most of the family sits on the floor. They like to watch Nepali videos together.

Bhola's father, Tulsi, sleeps on a pile of blankets against the wall across from a sliding glass door. From where he sits, he can watch the children play outside, or the arrival of neighbors.

Their home often smells like a meal in progress. Rice or noodles with vegetables, and sometimes dal, a type of soup or stew made of peas, beans or lentils. High in fiber and protein, it often is flavored with cumin, garlic and ginger. Lila, Bhola's sister-in-law, prepares most of their meals. Their food is mostly vegetarian because they are Hindu. Bhola's nieces don't eat much of their school lunches. After school, they gobble bowls of noodles or fruit, even though they will eat supper in just a couple of hours. The family now consumes a lot of fruit, because it's cheaper and easier to find than it was in Nepal. Yasoda especially likes tomatoes, apples and grapes.

Visitors are offered food, or hot tea, seasoned with a pinch of salt.

More Bhutanese families have joined the Timsinas since they arrived at Hunters Glen. There are nearly 100 Bhutanese living in Greensboro, and many of them live in the same apartment complex. They often visit each other on Saturdays. Sometimes they eat together or celebrate Hindu holidays.

Bhola now has his driver's license, and drives a van donated by Carroll. His nieces are improving their English, and even learning some Spanish.

Kiser laments that little Puskhar will likely grow up speaking English without an accent. Unlike his sisters -- who, in some ways, feel more Nepalese than Bhutanese -- Puskhar will be the most Americanized.

But for as long as the Timsinas live together, he won't likely forget he is Bhutanese. Especially if Uncle Bhola's nearby.

"Bhutan is my birth place. So, as long as I remember my name, Bhutan is ever remembered," Bhola says. "I will kiss my birthland once again ..."

 Contact Tina Firesheets at 373-3498 or tina.firesheets@news-record.com