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Donations to Tabitha's Closet help women get back on their feet

I hate garbage day. It kills me to see something useful or in good condition out by the trash, headed for a landfill.

I hate clutter, so if I haven't used it or worn it in more than a year, it's gone. But I grew up without money for luxuries, so I never actually throw anything away unless it's ripped, torn or beyond repair.

I donate. It only takes me a few minutes to sort things and put them in a bag or box and take them someplace I know someone will find value in them.

My favorite place to stop and donate is Tabitha's Closet, on U.S. 220 in Summerfield across from Food Lion.

I've always loved thrift stores. It's the thrill of the hunt. The idea that among someone else's trash, I can find treasure, particularly when it comes to my kids.

They outgrow toys and clothes so quickly, it only makes sense to find gently used items at a fraction of their original cost.

I walked into Tabitha's Closet for the first time about two years ago, and, metaphorically, I've never left.
I try to stop in at least once a week to see what's new and to chat with the ladies who work there. I've gotten to know them and their stories over the years. And boy, do they have stories.

Cindy Wagner had a tough childhood. By the time she was 22, she had three kids, was on her second divorce and had only an eighth-grade education.

Before she knew it, a vicious cycle of substance abuse followed by rehab programs ensued. Wagner found that though rehab programs addressed her substance abuse, nothing was addressing the issues that drove her there in the first place. They did not restore her dignity or lessen her feelings of shame.

Finally, at 40, Wagner was sober, happily married and had pulled her life together. She found her faith and in that faith she found her purpose: to help others find the self-worth and dignity she had once sought.

With the love and support of her third husband, to whom she's been married 26 years, Wagner got her pastoral counseling degree and began a Monday Night Bible Study at the North Piedmont Correctional Center for Women in Lexington. She knew all too well counseling and guidance needed to extend beyond prison walls, and Tabitha's Ministries was born.

Wagner knew from her own experiences that when women were at their lowest, they needed a place to find unconditional love, faith and support.

Her philosophy is simple: "To change a life, you have to change a heart." Wagner says behavior is easy to change; it's the way these women identify themselves that will lead to their salvation.

Wagner's journey would lead her to cross paths with Ken Ferguson, a friend from church and local contractor who believed in Wagner's dream of building a shelter for women.

Wagner had found a piece of property but couldn't afford the $17,000 purchase price, let alone the cost of building a home.

Ferguson made Wagner an offer she couldn't refuse: he agreed to buy the land and hold onto it until Wagner could pull the money together.

Then, in 2000, he helped her build Tabitha's House along with 30-plus volunteers from the church and community.

Local artists painted murals in the bedrooms so when the women at Tabitha's were lying in bed, they'd have something uplifting and inspirational to look at.

It wasn't long before troubled women eager for a fresh start occupied the six beds at Tabitha's house.

But Wagner was finding it difficult to pay the house's monthly expenses without sacrificing her own family's needs. That's how Tabitha's Closet was born.

Proceeds help pay for overhead, but also give the women at Tabitha's House an opportunity to learn work skills, merchandising and interpersonal skills while Wagner helped them get their GEDs, establish credit and find work.

There are no fees or requirements to enter Tabitha's House, but there are rules once you're there. Women must remain clean and sober. They are not permitted to have cell phones or cars, their phone calls are monitored and they have random drug testing.

Wagner says she's not there to police these women. They have to want to make a better life for themselves, and Tabitha's House provides the love and guidance they need.

There is no limit to how long the women can stay at the house, though the average stay is 18 months. Wagner won't kick anyone out who is succeeding but has no place to go.

Seventy-five percent of the women who are ministered at Tabitha's House go on to lead purposeful and fulfilling lives. Many women continue to work with Tabitha's Ministries, mentoring new occupants or ministering to the 150-plus members of the Wounded Heart Outreach Program that assists those women for whom they cannot provide a home.

Rhonda Hernandez is a glowing example of someone who has turned her life around with the help of Tabitha's House. She's taking writing classes, acts as a sort of house mother to new residents and helps manage Tabitha's Closet.

Since no one draws a salary working at the thrift store, Hernandez puts her exceptional sewing skills to good use, working out of Tabitha's Closet doing alterations and making beautiful custom aprons. The mother/daughter sets are adorable and make great gifts.

Hernandez also bakes, so next time you're having a party, consider ordering one of her delicious custom-order cheesecakes, Italian crème cake or other baked delights.

Wagner hopes to work with Christian and small-business owners to employ Tabitha's House residents and to expand Tabitha's House.

We can all help right now. The next time you're cleaning out the closets or replacing household goods or furniture, consider donating your things to Tabitha's Closet rather than throwing them away.

If you can't make it over there, drop me an e-mail at duffymom63@yahoo.com and I'll do my best to try and arrange a pick-up. If you have any building materials to donate for the expansion, let them know.

And the next time you're driving past Tabitha's Closet, stop in. You won't regret meeting these fine women, and you may even find a little treasure to bring home.

Nancy Duffy is a mother of two Stokesdale Elementary students and a Northwest High student.