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Quick: What decade are we living in? OK, I’ll give you some time.

Still thinking?

Don’t worry: so is everyone else.

It’s a supreme irony. In a culture so used to slicing up history by decades, we’re living in a decade packed with history — too much history, some would say — and we have absolutely no idea what to call it.

We’re now nine years into the decade, and we’re no closer than we were when it started to agreeing on a name.
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The prospect of a nameless decade raises some tough questions.

What will we do in the future when we are trying make a quick reference to these years?

How can we say someone is the child of a decade if we don’t have a name for it?

How will we enjoy the cheesy pop culture of the decade, “I Love the 80s”-style, with no name?

It’s not that there hasn’t been plenty of history. We’ve had Sept. 11, two wars, an economic collapse worse than any since the Great Depression.

But still no name.

Does it matter? That’s arguable. It’s not as if the fate of civilization depends on it.

And at worst, it makes for clunky phrasing: the first decade of the century.

Right now, the problem is avoided easily enough. The decade isn’t finished, so it’s reasonable to make sure it’s in the books before we try to refer to it as an era with a distinct history.

The real trick will come when we move into the next decade (my money is on the teens), and we refer back to this one.

Still, in the past, we’ve been able to summon up memories and images of entire eras in a single word.

It makes for an easy shorthand, giving us the ability to evoke broad sweeps of history and culture with a single word. The ’60s: civil rights, goofy clothes, Vietnam. The ’80s: the fall of communism, greed is good.

With this decade, no such luck.

Certainly, there are plenty of options. There are the numerically based: Aughts. Aughty-Aughts. Zeros. Os. Double-Os.

And there are the more playful names: Naughties, or the Naughty Aughties. Although clever, they seem unlikely to reach the critical mass of usage that would turn them into the standard for the decade.

There is, at least, no shortage of suggestions.

News & Record readers offered a few of their own,  reflecting the turbulence of the decade.

“I would call it the 'Dark Decade,’ ” wrote reader William Watson Purkey of Greensboro. “It reminds me of the Dark Ages in Europe, or Darth Vader. Now we’re on the edge of a renaissance, thank goodness.”

David Williams of High Point argues for a name that carries some meaning, citing terms such as the “Roaring Twenties” or the “Me Decade.”

His idea: “The Naughts,” with its connotation of something “worthless and bad.”

“Eight of the 10 years will have been under a dark cloud of greed, dishonesty, unnecessary war and death, and especially environmental destruction,” he wrote.

“Some now would argue with that, and accusations of 'partisanship’ etc. would fly, but very likely, 50 years from now, with perfect hindsight, most will agree that we went the wrong direction during the double-oughts.”

His second suggestion? “The Great Regression.”

Of course, it’s possible the decade will never get a name.

In the end, it might be like those casual acquaintances  whose names we can’t quite remember, so we simply don’t call them anything at all and desperately avoid situations where we might have to get their attention.

So, maybe it’s best to think of this decade as the guest at the party whom you avoid by slipping off to the bathroom.

Contact Jason Hardin at 373-7021 or at jason.hardin@news-record.com