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In his note for Triad Stage’s newest play, “Bell, Book and Candle,” director John Feltch points out that this story about a community of witches and warlocks hiding in plain sight is an apt metaphor for the gay community circa 1950.

That’s about the extent of the metaphor in this play, sadly, which might have borrowed the scant premise of being a member of a secret minority, but not the reality.

The reason this premise leads to no compelling conclusions is that Feltch’s witches are allowed to suddenly stop being what they are, an ability not afforded gay people.

What we have left is an unbearably light romance that substitutes meaning with magic.

The show’s head witch, Gillian (Anne Bowles), grows a fondness for Shep (Glenn Kalison), an uptight bore completely oblivious to the spells Gillian and her brother Nicky (Michael Daniel Anderson) cast around him. Against her better judgment, Gillian puts a hex on the doltish Shep that makes him attracted to her, thus sparking the love affair intended to be the crux of the play.

The only problem with this is that the love Gillian and Shep have for each other is of no consequence. Gillian can’t love Shep — or anyone else — because it means she will lose her powers. And while he might be oblivious to this fact, Shep doesn’t really love Gillian; he’s just under her spell.

In the final scenes, the bond between Gillian and Shep is tested. Shep realizes he was deceived by Gillian, and at the cost of her powers, Gillian learns that she might actually love Shep.

Unfortunately, there was nothing in the script or characterization that made me believe in the heartwarming outcome, or more importantly, care about it.

The only solace to be found in Feltch’s play were bursts of humor that occurred sporadically at best.

The play could have been funnier — but only slightly — had supporting star Anderson realized the jokes in some of his lines. The thesp had a habit of steamrolling through some of the wittier banter and wordplays created for his flamboyant character. His poor comic delivery crushed no less than three jokes, all of which would have helped a play in dire need of punch lines.

On a technical level, “Bell, Book and Candle” is another job well done for Triad Stage. Scenic designer Robin Vest transformed the venue’s malleable theater space into Gillian’s posh 1950s bachelorette pad, complete with a record player, art deco paintings of cats on the walls and even a back window where snow falls during the opening scene.

In the lead role, actress Bowles, with her retro gowns and bold eye makeup, was engaging.

Still, none of the show’s spot-on elements were enough to salvage a play with zero relevance today beyond the fact that it inspired “Bewitched.”

In short, no amount of magic could make me forget this “Bell” was a big bore.

Joe Scott is a freelance contributor.