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At least twice a month, the average funeral home in North Carolina is asked to bury someone whose family cannot pay.

Blame the economy or a lack of planning with insurance, but in human terms it means families are having to ask churches, businesses and even their neighbors for help in burying a loved one, says Renee Donnell, a licensed funeral director and the owner of Alamance Funeral Service.

“The ones that have really touched my heart have been the mothers of (adult) children who have died and these mothers are living on Social Security and they can barely afford to take care of themselves,” Donnell said.

She recently started raising money for an indigent burial fund with a tax-ID and committee oversight called “Am I My Brother’s Keeper” to help those families who can show a need.

An upcoming fundraiser features Wendell Powell, a well-known face from the Barn Dinner Theater, who wrote and produced “Am I My Brother’s Keeper?” a Christian-themed play based on discussions with Donnell about a family’s inability to bury a loved one and what happens to get it done.

Donnell said she didn’t know what else to do. Like most other states, North Carolina doesn’t have a fund set up for indigent burials. The average price of an adult funeral in 2006 was slightly more than $6,000, according to the National Funeral Directors Association. And that doesn’t include other associated costs, such as cemetery space.

Some local social service departments provide minimally, up to several hundred dollars.

But for most people without private insurance, there’s nothing.

And the need is increasing, according to a survey by the N.C. Association of Funeral Directors Association, which prompted the industry group to make finding state revenue for a burial fund the group’s No. 1 legislative priority before next session’s General Assembly.

“I don’t think there’s ever been any concentrated effort to bring it to the attention of lawmakers,” said Larry Stegall, the group’s executive director for the past 29 years. Benefits from the Veteran’s Administration, Social Security and fraternal organization policies are also often minimal.

Some states, such as West Virginia and New Jersey, have funds earmarked for burials and a “means test” to determine a person’s ability to pay and can contribute up to several thousand dollars. Bodies can be donated for science or cremated at less cost, but for a variety of reasons, some people don’t want to do it.

Already, Donnell said, many funeral homes such as hers volunteer some services for people who cannot afford the full cost.
Sometimes, church pastors have to step in on the family’s behalf.

“I had one so bad off in Rocky Mount that ... I took up an offering during the wake to help bury her,” said the Bishop Ralph D. Graves of Greater Metropolitan Restoration Center in Greensboro. There have always been these challenges in many communities and people who died without burial policies they bought themselves.

“What has happened is that 'grandmamas’ would take out a policy for everybody and they would hold those policies ...in the bedroom drawer just in case,” Graves said.

Relatives who once came to the rescue, he said, may no longer be able.

“They are very sad stories and sometimes the call comes from the family and sometimes from the funeral homes themselves,” said the Rev. Larry Covington, the pastor of Ebenezer United Church of Christ, whose church has been on the receiving end of some of those calls.

His church tries to help whenever possible, as do others, he says.

“However, we try to be there on the front end also, to offer workshops on insurance and why families need insurance and what is a will and what services are available in the community, such as a social service network,” Covington said.

Donnell hopes to have an annual fundraiser for the fund.

“I know somehow, some way, this situation has touched everybody’s lives, where either your family had to go ask for donations or you had to give toward somebody else’s burials,” Donnell said.

Contact Nancy H. McLaughlin at 373-7049 or nancy.mclaughlin@news-record.com