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To think that all these years I’ve denied myself reality TV shows, only to be sucked in by the Republican convention.

No “Project Runway.” No “Dancing With the Stars.” Not even vintage reruns of “Being Bobby Brown,” pre-Whitney breakup. I sacrificed it all, only to wind up like this. But who could resist?

“She’s a babe!” my husband shouted from the den as Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin’s speech started the other night. “But her being a heartbeat away from the Oval Office scares me. How will we know if it’s the real her, or just Tina Fey playing her?”

This seemed a particularly juvenile non sequitur, until I considered the long road we have all traveled to get to this decisive moment. It began with the flag lapel pin. Hillary’s cleavage. Obama’s middle name. Rudy’s affair. McCain’s affair. Edwards’ affair.

And finally came this week’s Us Magazine cover, where the “BABIES, LIES AND SCANDAL” headline about the McCain pick bumped the Jen-Brad patch-up — not to mention Mackenzie Phillips’ 10th try in rehab — clear into next week.

Then, as controversy swirled, an amazing thing happened. Someone told the truth about our democratic process.

“This election is not about issues,” Rick Davis, McCain’s campaign manager, told The Washington Post. “This election is about a composite view of what people take away from these candidates.”

And it’s true. It’s why we never tire of hearing that Joe Biden takes the Amtrak train home every day. (He does, you know.) It’s why the “Hot Chick VP” buttons on the GOP convention floor were no surprise.

It’s why even the media, which is always reading way too much into things as trivial as vice-presidential running mate selections, came crawling back after Palin’s hockey-mom speech.

“She Shoots! She Scores!” read a Post headline.

Time magazine’s Mike Duffy:

“Only a few times in the last 25 years have we seen what we saw here tonight. It happened in Chicago in 2004 with Barack Obama and it happened here tonight: A star was born.”

Said NBC political director Chuck Todd: “Conservatives have found their Obama!”

CNN’s Wolf Blitzer: “Sarah Palin hit one out of the park!”

And even CNN anchor Campbell Brown, who had only days earlier grilled a McCain aide about Palin’s executive experience, was stirred by something akin to sisterhood.

After the speech, Brown said there were qualities Palin brought “that only a woman can bring” and that Palin’s attacks were softened by “sort of a feminine air” that made them less jarring.

“I have to tell you as a woman and as a mother,” Brown went on, “when I saw her family, and she just talked about them, and we saw the shot of her baby being held ... I was very touched. You have an emotional reaction to that.”

Me too, Campbell. It’s a proud day. And Phil Gramm, the former Texas senator and McCain economic adviser who called America “a nation of whiners,” owes us all an apology.
We’re no nation of whiners. We’ll eat anything served us. And like it.

Contact Lorraine Ahearn at 373-7334 or lorraine.ahearn@news-record.com