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LIBERTY — In a cluttered cubbyhole, behind his fuzzy Carolina-blue Carolina rug, Warren Dixon writes.

He started on a Royal typewriter nearly three decades ago. Now, he bangs away on a Gateway computer, late at night in the corner of his den, surrounded by books, a backyard window and a four-drawer file cabinet with this gem of a magnet: “Is This Quality?”

Warren writes a humor column every Saturday for The Courier-Tribune in Asheboro. He has for at least a decade. Over the years, in various publications, he’s written about sweet tea, squirrel wars and ugly ties for Christmas nudists.

But for the past two weeks, he’s written about us. Our city. Two weeks ago, when I called Asheboro the Triad’s version of Mayberry, he called me out and hurled some choice nicknames our way.

Some lovely stuff. Enough to make your teeth grit. Really.

Greedsboro.

Bickersburg.

Birthplace of Mediocrity.

The City That Never Wakes.

And North of Paradise.

And that’s just for starters.

So, on Monday, I went to see Warren in Liberty, the Town of Three Stoplights. I had to see this retired postmaster, this fourth-grade tutor at Liberty Elementary, this mild-mannered slinger of nicknames.

He told me he once proposed boosting tourism in Randolph County by holding a Glass-Bottom Boat Festival at Liberty’s sewage treatment plant lagoon.

But I wanted to talk about Greensboro. I got the nicknames, even the nasty ones. So will other locals who live and breathe here in Hoopville.

But North of Paradise?

“Randolph County is south of Greensboro, and we’re the Eden of the Piedmont.”

Birthplace of Mediocrity?

“I know that’s terrible, but (Greensboro) can never get it together.”

And The City That Never Wakes?

“(Greensboro) wakes up and Charlotte is so far ahead of them. Let’s not be so obsessed with Charlotte. Be your own city. Don’t be so snobbish.”

Now, to settle this linguistic slight, there’s part of me that wanted to challenge Warren to some sort of competition — you know, checkers, Monopoly, left-handed arm-wrestling or a cage match in front of a screaming crowd

But then again, I know it’s a fun war with words, and Warren knows he tiptoes a fine line as a humorist. Some get it; some don’t. Humor, as he’s apt to say, is a “fragile commodity.”

And like any columnist, any humorist, he loves a good target. In his first book, “Tarheel Hilarities,” he wrote: “I don’t mind taking a shot at a sacred cow every once in awhile, either. Sometimes, you get a good filet out of it.”

And he has. Many times.

Warren has been writing humor columns since 1980. He’s written two books and penned columns for at least half a dozen small-town newspapers while he worked as a postmaster in Staley and Julian.

And during that time, he graduated from UNC-Chapel Hill with a journalism degree — finally.

He started in 1964, partied too hard and got drafted. In 1969, he spent a year in Vietnam as a military police officer.

When he returned, Warren bounced around. He was, as he says today, an “old hippie.”

He peddled jewelry and electronics in downtown Asheboro before settling down and steering mail for the U.S. Post Office.

After attending night school, he got his journalism degree in 1993.

He has his degree hanging in his cozy cubbyhole as well as a small plaque from one of his friends. The plaque reads: “Everything Comes If Only A Man Will Wait.”

And wait he did.

It paid off, not with money but with laughter, particularly when he hands his column to his wife, Sandra, to proofread and hears her laughing down the hall.

“People are too serious; the world is too serious,” he said Monday from his den, a cup of coffee in his hand. “You’ve got 24-hour news telling us how

Suzy got decapitated, and you need to laugh.

“Laughter is the best medicine. I think that’s in the Bible.”

Yes, it is.

Now, about this Bickersburg thing ….

Contact Jeri Rowe at 373-7374 or jeri.rowe@news-record.com