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When planning a wedding, it’s easy for couples to forget that in taking vows, they are encouraging the development of a larger community. Afterwards, they may remember it as a joyful celebration, a complete disaster, or a little of both.

What is certain is that weddings typically produce plenty of anxiety for everyone involved. Perhaps we were asking too much and should have chosen the courthouse over the chapel. In deciding to include our loved ones, we never imagined how intertwined our families would truly become.

My new husband and I have lived in Greensboro for over six years. It is where we fell in love, had a child and bought a home. Although not in a rush to commit ourselves in a new marriage, after five years of sharing life together, I suddenly knew without any doubt that the man I love was meant to be my husband. I knew that one day, when I am old, his hands are the ones I still want to be holding.

So, we planned a wedding in his home town of Kansas City, Mo. His father had been seriously ill, therefore we arranged for my family to arrive from Michigan. Neither of our families had ever met before, except through pictures and a phone call.

Two hours before the ceremony, each set of parents were in different cars on the highway. Both were anxious about details. My mother in-law realized she forgot the flowers. My parents and brother were on the way to pick up my youngest brother at the airport.

The moment she remembered the flowers, my mother in-law saw a convenient out. She slowed down quickly to use the emergency vehicle median access. My parents and brother were a few seconds behind. They crashed into her van at more than sixty miles per hour. Both cars were totaled, and looking at the remains it was hard to believe anyone could have survived.

My brother recalls a surreal feeling when he opened his eyes. There was no bright light, no feeling of weightlessness. After confirming that his parents were intact, he approached the crumpled van. Noticing that the man in the passenger seat wore the exact style of tuxedo we’d chosen for the wedding, he ventured, “Elmer?  Elmer Hoppins, is that you?”  The man said, “Yes, it’s me” just like it was any ordinary day. Turning, he added, “Do I know you?”

A few miles behind, in our car, both cell phones rang. I answered to hear my brother’s voice. He said, “Jen, this is not a joke. We’ve had a serious accident. The other car was carrying your future in-laws.”

We arrived at the scene expecting carnage and angry, hurt people. What we saw is imbedded in my mind forever.

Instead of being angry, both families were embracing as their mangled vehicles were towed away.

Although hurt, they refused immediate medical attention and insisted we go on with the ceremony. I heard tears — of joy and pain — while my mother dressed at the chapel. She belonged in the hospital but I honored her wish to stay, promising to take her and Dad to the ER immediately after the vows.

Our ceremony became a truly spiritual celebration of family, love and respect. Everyone danced at the reception, laughing and hugging often — despite pain. Instead of lawsuits, our two families are forever bonded. They have been calling one another every day. Their example of compassionate forgiveness reminds us to “love one another as I have loved you” (John 13:34).

And so I will.

Jennifer Hoppins resides in Greensboro.