This week's column.
There’s no shortage of dirty laundry in Raleigh.
Just don’t go looking for any clotheslines.
Consider the case of Pricey Harrison, who dared to push a perfectly innocent piece of legislation in favor of drying our clothing and linen the old-fashioned way.
Even as she was about to see another of her bills that would regulate coal ash ponds in the state near passage — after being given absolutely no chance to survive — Harrison’s clothesline bill, alas, had no such luck.
You’d have thunk she spit on the flag.
The bill essentially barred local governments from outlawing, “or have the effect of prohibiting, the installation of a clothesline.”
It did not overrule homeowners association covenants, most of which ban clotheslines. And it gave governments the option to regulate how and where clotheslines could be installed.
But it’s not clear that anybody read that far. Lawmakers may have been too busy conjuring clever jokes about their undies and whether clotheslines needed dress codes.
“Yeah, they did behave childishly,” Harrison said days later. “They never did consider the bill on its merits. It was frustrating.”
The Greensboro Democrat’s legislation simply would have given more people the right to choose whether they wanted to use clotheslines instead of energy-gorging dryers.
Some people consider that a more important question than other folks’ obvious discomfort with actual articles of clothing (omigod) drying in the sunlight, as Mother Nature intended.
Colorado approved “right-to-dry” legislation last year and other states are considering it.
In fact, there’s a national movement to return to clotheslines as a smarter, greener alternative to dryers.
After all, appliances account for about 17 percent of the average household’s energy consumption, with refrigerators, clothes washers and dryers leading the way.
Also, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission estimates that 15,500 fires associated with clothes dryers occur annually, causing an average of 10 deaths, 310 injuries and more than $99 million in property damage.
Still, somewhere along the way, we decided that clotheslines are tacky and unsightly.
You have to look a lot harder these days to find them around here.
One place you’ll still find one is at my mother’s house in northeast Greensboro.
For her, it’s simply a matter of quality. As she sees it, using sun and wind to dry laundry makes it fresher and involves less wear and tear on fabrics.
She has never owned a dryer in her life — and I’m betting she never will.
And if it rains, then it rains. She either races to gather the laundry before the storm arrives, or she washes it again after the storm has passed.
Nor do clotheslines have to be eyesores. New, more compact designs can keep them largely hidden from view.
All that said, I should come clean (honestly, no pun intended). I live in a community whose covenants prevent clotheslines. And chain-link fences. And detached out-buildings. And painting your house without permission.
And I never enjoyed having to hang clothes on the line while growing up, especially women’s clothes.
Still, the bill never had a chance, except as an easy punch line for punchy legislators. People ought to have the right to choose.
One national movement, right2dry, believes precisely that and is trying to persuade the Obamas, “during a one-day photo op,” to hang laundry at the White House to encourage other Americans to follow suit.
The right2dry Web site soberly declares, as a banjo plays in the background: “It is the inalienable right of every man, woman and child to line dry.”
Then there’s the Laundry List, a nonprofit that blogs, tweets and publishes a quarterly newsletter about “making air-drying laundry acceptable and desirable as a simple and effective way to save energy.”
Evidently, a lot of us remain unmoved.
Wrote Kernersville reader Judy Barham in response to another reader’s fond memories of clotheslines: “I think back to January 1960 when snow covered the ground and I had a new baby to care for.
“The joy of hanging cloth diapers on the clothesline and having them freeze solid in your hands and your fingers turning blue sounds like something this lady has never experienced.
“I remember the first dryer I owned and the satisfaction I derived from removing the fresh smelling, wrinkle-free clothes from it.
“I speak for myself when I say this, but as long as owning a dryer does not become illegal (and I can afford the electricity) I will never hang anything on a clothesline again.
“By the way, I don’t iron, either.”