My grandfather and uncle, career commercial fishermen, were lost at sea 20 miles off the coast of Cape May, New Jersey on November 11. When the search was called off and they were presumed dead my family was of course devastated -- and I found myself in a unique position, religiously.
I, an atheist, had to write a eulogy for both of these men, one a born-again Christian, to be delivered in the Pentecostal church with which he was heavily involved, before a crowd strongly dominated by evangelical Christians.
My uncle was a man who had many problems in his life - drink, drugs, divorce, violence. Though I wasn't on the same page with him religiously, I know that his faith saved - and changed - his life. I know that it brought him closer to the rest of my family. I didn't feel that I could ignore that in my eulogy just because I wasn't on the same cosmological page.
Here is what I came up with, which is not perfect but gave a number of people some comfort and was well received at the memorial.
I think it's possible for believers and non-believers to love and respect one another, to give credit where credit is due and to see death (and even life) their way, without insisting that it's the only respectable view.