Those 20 convicted killers and rapists? It turns out the Department of Correction was just 45 years off in calculating their release date from prison, according to Gov. Bev Perdue's latest pronouncement.
And that was her Department of Correction, mind you.
It was just a few weeks ago that DOC was getting ready to let those offenders go, in compliance with court decisions and its own formula for figuring how much time off their "life" sentences they had earned since they entered the system back in the soft-on-crime '70s. Back then, state law defined a "life sentence" as 80 years and prisoners could shorten that with good behaviors like brushing their teeth, combing their hair and singing Happy Birthday to the warden every year.
It was a joke, but here we are. The laws are tougher now, but you can't apply them retroactively to criminals who were sentenced in kinder, gentler times.
Not that the Guv isn't trying her best. After reworking the math, she announced today that she'll set those monsters free exactly when hell freezes over, which is now scheduled for 2054.
Staples Hughes, the state's appellate defender, responded cynically, calling this whole matter "simply a political issue and a mechanism for the governor to use to attempt to raise her popularity."
And it's working. Perdue probably could raise her numbers five more points by having Hughes arrested and thrown into prison until 2054, too, then declaring an end to appellate defenders in North Carolina.
Despite today's headline, however, nothing really has changed on this story. It's all going back to the courts, where judges will calculate for themselves what the law and applicable DOC policies say about these convicts' release dates.
My estimate of when we'll get a final decision on that: 2054.
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