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When people share personal information, does it make it fair game for criticism?

Massachusetts man says he was fired for telling co-worker that her gay marriage was wrong. He said she mentioned it four times before he gave an opinion.

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Posted by nmclaughlin on Thursday, November 12, 2009 at 1:54 pm

What do you think?

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nemo0037

November 13, 2009 - 8:30 am EST

My response to your question is yes -- if you share personal info, you should expect others to comment. Though I think it reasonable to expect most to follow the adage "If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all." Sadly, some folks just can't keep their negative opinions to themselves when it comes to some subjects.

Get A Clue

November 13, 2009 - 4:32 pm EST

1. There's no ability to comment on the latest blog post.
2. Generally speaking, there's always more to the story than a simple "He said this and then he got fired for it."

lexalexander

November 16, 2009 - 7:31 pm EST

Gay marriage is legal in Mass. He has no more right to tell this woman that her marriage is wrong than she has to tell him his hetero marriage is wrong. And if he continued to make an issue of it after being warned, then, yes, he was harassing her. Illegal? Maybe not. Detrimental to the efficient functioning of the workplace? Absolutely.

If something like this happened in an office I ran, irrespective of the orientations of the people involved, I'd tell everybody once to shut up about it if they wanted to continuing working there. If someone then persisted in criticizing another person's lifestyle, I'd take disciplinary action against the critic. In a perfect world, everyone would be nice or be quiet, but we don't live in a perfect world and some people never seem to have any problem justifying their unprovoked rudeness toward others. In my experience, these people hinder the productivity of others, I don't care how good they are at their own jobs -- and, typically, if they've got that much time to spend worrying about other people's business, they aren't that good at their own jobs to begin with.

kuranes

November 23, 2009 - 3:08 pm EST

It troubles me that so few people believe in freedom of speech when this issue comes up. Did she and her boss not judge the morals of the man they fired just as much as he judged hers? What makes them so superior? Is this no longer a free country? Do we have to suppress our views or become hypocrites in order to preserve a harmonious working environment? Or can the inquisitors against the homophobic heresy learn to get along with those who differ? Aren't they always demanding that straight people do it? What if some co-worker kept bragging about an incestuous relationship with his daughter, or his dog, and prodded you continually for your opinion? Would you just pretend that you were fine with that if you weren't? Surely gay people are aware that not everyone shares their moral principles, even in Massachusetts. Clearly she expected some response, since she kept probing four times before she got an answer. If she expected a pat on the back, why bother? If she expected the response she got, she has no one to blame but herself.
By the way, I'm homosexual myself, so put that tar away and those feathers back in your boa.

nemo0037

November 16, 2009 - 8:17 pm EST

It appears that the man's comments were about whether the marriage is morally right, not whether it's legal. I would expect a right to hold and express my opinion on such matters as well as the next person, and so should this fellow. Now, whether he expressed his opinion in a manner that made the woman uncomfortable (and I expect he did), then she had a right to expect to be treated with courtesy in the work place. At least, that seems to be the common rule for etiquette these days.

The man probably felt offended at the woman discussing her family life. And of course, she would probably feel offended should someone urge her to keep her life quiet, while straight folks are able to discuss their lives freely without fear of offending others. At some point, someone will have to decide to stop being offended, and let others live in peace. I wonder who will volunteer?

lexalexander

November 17, 2009 - 9:46 pm EST

The real issue isn't the guy's opinion, it's his behavior, and his behavior constitutes jackassery. There may be a workplace somewhere where unrestrained jackassery enhances a work process or product, but in 33 years of full-time work I've never been in one.