The Joke's On You
THIS WEEK'S CARTOON 112009
Send your entries to jokesonyou@news-record.com by noon MONDAY, 11 - 23
REPEAT! EARLY DEADLINE NEXT WEEK! Need your captions by noon MONDAY!
Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.
LAST WEEK’S CARTOON
REPEAT! EARLY DEADLINE NEXT WEEK! Need your captions by noon MONDAY!
OK, this was a tough one. “How could you go wrong with a monkey,” I thought. Well, here’s how. Even our top captioners were struggling.
The winner captured the intended tone, though.
Also, personally, I think the Jr.s had some of the funniest captions in a “really out-there” sort of way (”Banancial Services?”) See below.
WINNER
What kind of diet pills were you taking?
Don Rankin, Greensboro
RUNNERS-UP
“Day 3: Monkey still staring at me. Starting to feel self-conscious.”
Tom Norman, Greensboro
“I see you've listed Jane Goodall as a reference?"
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro
The bad news, Mr Jones, looks like we gave you the wrong serum. The good news, the price of bananas are way down.
Pam Hart, Siler City
Under references you list "the man with the yellow hat".
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro
Could you be more specific than “monkey’s Uncle” on your closest relative info?
Bill Wallace, High Point
"Says here you and 2000 of your peers wrote Hamlet. You're hired."
Stephen Botts, Greensboro
Why are you saying that the pills didn’t work?
Keith Peddie, Greensboro
MY CAPTIONS (This cartoon seemed hard, thought I'd take a whack at it)
I’m sorry no one told you about the possible side-effects, Mr. Nussbaum.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years, Bobo, besides locked in a cage wearing mascara?
JR. CATEGORY WINNER
Your resume' shows you have a thing for monkey business.
Ny'Asia Dixon, Frazier.
JR. CATEGORY RUNNER-UP
I see your insurance company is Banancial Services.
Martin J. H., Frazier
PSYCHIC ENTRIES FOR NEXT WEEK’S CARTOON (entries received before the cartoon even appeared)
You thought Springsteen yelling “Hello, Ohio!” in Michigan was funny? During the Journey concert in September, the lead singer for Night Ranger said he was glad to be in Greensboro, North Dakota. At least The Boss wasn’t off by fourteen hundred miles.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST OBSCURE CULTURAL REFERENCES
BUBBLES, WE HARDLY KNEW YE …
Bubbles,I see where your last employer was a Mr. Jackson. (too soon?)
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro
"It's an impressive resume Mr. Bubbles, but I'm afraid "Entertained the King of Pop" overqualifies you as a test specimen..."
D. Gunn
"Upon Mr. Michael Jackson's death, you were forced to seek gameful employment."
I see you've listed Jane Goodall as a reference?"
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro
"We never test our products on animals. We love damn dirty apes."
Stephen Botts, Greensboro
… As long as they keep their stinking paws off us …
Considering the amount of time we expected more than just the collected works of Christopher Marlowe.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
Under references you list "the man with the yellow hat".
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
"Yes, we have no bananas, we have no bananas today."
Joan Lux, Greensboro
"Very impressive Family tree, Sam III. I knew your Grandfather well. (Sam was first space monkey in 1959)
Rick O'Reilly, Greensboro
Well, Mr. Darwin. We’re checking your references. How do you know Elisa Thornberry?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Nice advertising idea....where did Darrin Stevens go?
Your man in the yellow hat reference said you were a troublemaking little #$%&.
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro
I see that you have Jane Goodall as a personal reference ....
Jon Barsanti, Hillsborough
Jon Barsanti, Hillsborough
BEST INSIDE JOKE
"OK...I give up...how many monkeys DOES it take to pick a winning caption?"
"We would've loved to have you on our team Mr. Bush but unfortunately the application deadline was 12:00 Thursday!!"
"OK...I give up...how many monkeys DOES it take to pick a winning caption?"
Bob Mannary, Greensboro
Bob Mannary, Greensboro
“The job is to assist writing text for Brewster Rocket: Space Guy!”
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro
Noticed the improvement, did you?
Our test was a success.No one even noticed Mr. Rickard was gone. (with sincere apologies)
Tim Tribbett
Not only that, but quality and productivity was up.
I see that you were fired from the News & Record because your IQ was too high to be a reporter.
Henry, Greensboro
Burn! Take THAT reporters!
"It says here Mr. Rickard, your last job was with the News-Record?
gregory whitfield
Hey … wait a second … I thought we were picking on reporters …
"Winning the "Joke's On You"...I guess anyone can win."
"If you have won the JOU, why can't I?"
Jon Barsanti, Hillsborough
"If you have won the JOU, why can't I?"
Jon Barsanti, Hillsborough
“The job is to assist writing text for Brewster Rocket: Space Guy!”
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro
He can’t do any worse than that other guy …
PSYCHIC MATURE CAPTIONS
“….and that’s how the rectal thermometer was invented.”
“Doctors announced today that the source of the swine flu epidemic is a Mrs. Oprah Winfrey.”
“In order to stop the spread of computer viruses, Bill Gates has introduced the Microsoft PC Condom.”
“For my next trick, I will make my prostate sing the national anthem.”
“Something is wrong, Doctor. I get a burning sensation every time my wife urinates.”
“Count Chocula was arrested today for murdering the Trix Rabbit.”
“In a stunning revelation, Stevie Wonder has admitted that he, in fact, can see.”
Psychic Mature International Captions:
“To help stop the crab grass epidemic that has crippled the English countryside, Prince Charles will let his wife, Camilla, graze for two hours every morning.”
“I say, Portia; care for a night of buggery?”
“The last dental school in England has closed due to a lack of students.”
“….and that’s how blood pudding was discovered.”
Bob Beitzel, Pleasant Garden
BEST POEM
PETA’s point, they have gotten across.
“Tests on chimps are all wrong!” said their boss.
Revlon hates that decree:
They can no longer see
Bonzo wearing mascara and gloss.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
PLEASE GET HELP
On the application under sex you've written you're bicurious George.
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro
"Here's one...a monkey, a squirrel, and Richard Heene all walk into a bar..."
"...and the mechanic says, 'It looks like you blew a seal' and the monkey says, 'It's Ice Cream I SWEAR, I SWEAR!!!"
"Actually, we've already figured out that Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer...we just can't get him to cry..."
Bob Mannary, Greensboro
"Here's one...a monkey, a squirrel, and Richard Heene all walk into a bar..."
"...and the mechanic says, 'It looks like you blew a seal' and the monkey says, 'It's Ice Cream I SWEAR, I SWEAR!!!"
"Actually, we've already figured out that Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer...we just can't get him to cry..."
Bob Mannary, Greensboro
SCHOOL ENTRIES
From Louise Monroe -
Rankin
fifth graders
Thao Vi Thi Huynh: I like the suit; it really brings out your hair.
Alexis Witt: Hey, Bob! Does this thing have rabies? Because it is slobbering!
Jessica W.: Well, I don't read monkey, but I can tell you you will need some shoes.
Kyara Bellamy: Wow, this is so bad I might even let the MONKEY do it!
Chelsea D. Sosa: I called you to invite you to Sonic for lunch with me because your application says you love banana splits.
Zaira G.: We're researching Godzilla's hair samples. We'll find your wife in no time.
Taniya S.: You've only applied for jungle jobs.
L. Goodman: I know you're just a monkey, but stop eating bananas on the job!
Frazier
fourth graders
A.J.: We hear that when monkeys see, monkeys do.
Jaylan Gainey: Mr. John, you're not fooling me with that ugly costume.
April A.: So, it says here you have experience peeling bananas.
Zachary: I guess you can't understand me, so, oo, oo,oo, ooo, ooo.
J. D.: I'm not giving you a job since I've seen you go bananas!
fifth graders
Deja Headen: Your paperwork says that you threw bananas at the zookeeper.
Ny'Asia Dixon: Your resume' shows you have a thing for monkey business.
Hayley Samulski: I'll hire you as long as you don't monkey around or go bananas on me.
Angel Nguyen: Sir, you didn't finish the form. You were too busy eating the ticks off you.
Mekensie Bostic: Listen, we don't pay bananas for merchandise, so try "Monkeys R Us."
Martin J. H.: I see your insurance company is Banancial Services.
S.L.: So, your resume' says your only skill is picking underpants from exploding briefcases from trees.
Jayna Patel: So, where is your owner, shorty?
TeAsia Holliman: Your resume' shows that you will work for bananas.
Washington
Hanneneh Mirmozaffari: It says here you have ten years' experience as a monkey groomer. You should go for a massage therapist's license.
Ty'Onna S.: You want to look up how many ants crawl into the human hair is a day????
Victor Carlos: Sorry we can't let you work here. How about researching about you instead? Let me start with, "Where did you get that suit?"
THE REST
1.) Under job skills it says"monkey see,monkey do"
2.) I'm sorry but we're not currently looking for any poo flingers.
3.) It says here you can recreate the works of Shakespeare given enough time and other monkeys.
4.) How do you feel about electric shocks?
5.) We may have an opening at the Mary Kay factory.
6.) It says here you'll work for bananas.
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro
1.) Under references you list "the man with the yellow hat".
2.) Good heavens,why would we want someone to fling THAT?
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that astronaut has only one S."
Don Patterson, Lexington
Dad said something about using this on our paper route...what's a paper route?
Grampa said this and a Flexible Flyer were his favorite toys growing up ... Waht's a Flexible Flyer?
Where's the motor?
What makes it go?
Something tells me this involves us working this weekend
Jon Barsanti, Hillsborough
"I'm sorry, but you're overqualified for this position."
Harvey B. Herman, Greensboro
The bad news, Mr Jones, looks like we gave you the wrong serum. The good news, the price of bananas are way down.
Pam Hart, Siler City
We have a large government grant to research why animals don't wear shoes or socks.
You'll fit right in -- we're researching why animals don't wear shoes or socks.
Office rules -- no shoes or socks allowed, but you can wear a snuggie at your desk.
The Employment Office was spot on when they sent you here.
"Yes, we have no bananas, we have no bananas today."
Before hiring we have to verify that you were, in fact, born at the San Diego Zoo.
Joan Lux, Greensboro
You can start right in as head of our Research Department, and, who knows?, my guess is that you'll make a fine CEO in a year or so.
Ken Layton, Carthage
Yes, yes, I see it says here that your DNA is 98.5% like humans. . .
but we're also looking for a little more research experience.
Scott Parker, Greensboro
Quite a resume! You're the great grandson of a king named Kong, you've been to Outer Space three times, you've worked with Tarzan in twenty-five films, and you starred in "Breakfast with Bonzo". .
Ken Layton, Carthage
How long have you been using the phrase "Well I'll be a monkey's uncle"?
We have a gym set in the basement -- used to be called a "jungle gym" but we're PC now.
Please stop interrupting me with the phrase "Well I'll be a monkey's uncle."
Joan Lux, Greensboro
"This is the complete work of Shakespeare. Nice job."
Chris Coburn, Mebane, NC
"Looks like we're related!"
E.W. Blythe, Greensboro
We could not determine if our ancestors invented the wheel.
James O. Durham, Greensboro
"Very impressive Family tree, Sam III. I knew your Grandfather well. (Sam was first space monkey in 1959)
"You do realize this could be your first and last assignment?"
"We now use people to go into space. Have you thought about a career in a laboratory?"
Rick O'Reilly, Greensboro
1.) This is just a bunch of scribbles.
2.) You misspelled poo.
3.) Your last employer said you were a little too curious.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
1.) I'm sorry but we already have someone to go coo coo for cocoa puffs.
2.) I see you've had experience with harsh chemicals in your eyes.
Tim Tribbett
"So you are fluent in five languages."
"Very impressive resume. ... The first to blast off into outer space! How
did you land here?"
"How do you feel about going to mars?"
"Good! You draw a line at monkey business."
John Koppel, Greensboro
We'll Mr. Binobo, while your research laboratory experience certainly is more extensive than the other candidates...
The union is killing me this time Harry. The "banana break" every two ours is non-negotiable huh? I'll see what I can do.
Hope Jones
"So you're actually doing research on the origin of monkeys?"
Nelson Harrill, Greensboro
I'm sorry, but you are over qualified for the position.
Steve Nance, Gibsonville
Now what monkey university did you graduate from?
June Payne
"It's an impressive resume Mr. Bubbles, but I'm afraid "Entertained the King of Pop" overqualifies you as a test specimen..."
Dgunn
The title of this weeks cartoon is: "Healthcare, Mr. President?"
Paul Gover, Stoneville
"So you were let go from your last job for throwing poop at your boss?"
"It says here that you have a degree in Monkey Business."
"You list your last job as former President of the United States."
"So you're interested in this job because you hear we pay peanuts?"
"It says here that you helped develop Windows Vista for Microsoft."
"I think you misunderstood our ad for monkeys in the research department."
"Upon Mr. Michael Jackson's death, you were forced to seek gameful employment."
"We have nothing in research but you'd feel right at home in our financial department."
"How do you feel being a writer on Family Guy will help you in this department?"
"Yes, I've heard the term monkey testing but you're missing the point."
"I see you've listed Jane Goodall as a reference?"
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro
I see that you were fired from the News & Record because your IQ was too high to be a reporter.
Henry, Greensboro
We're working to find a cure for insatiable curiousity here Mr. George.
Tim Tribbett
Bubbles,I see where your last employer was a Mr. Jackson. (too soon?)
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
Our test was a success.No one even noticed Mr. Rickard was gone.
(with sincere apologies) Tim Tribbett
We're looking to write some Shakespeare. Can you type?
Don't worry. We'll train you.
Well, Mr. Darwin. We're checking your references. How do you know Elisa Thornberry?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
1.) We provide all retirees with a suit and a bunch of bananas
2.)Bubbles, I'm afraid we can't provide you with a 6 figure salary like your previous employer.
3.) As soon as you sign the all the waiver forms you can start work.
Tim Tribbett
Your report on forced evolution is groundbreaking Jenkins.
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro
Space chimp,celebrity companion,inspiration for children's book..very impressive.
2.)We're looking for thinkers here not just monkeys that blindly mimic what they see.
3.) Do you have a high threshold for pain?
4.) Well Dr. Jenkins,the good news is you've proven your theory of reverse evolution.
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro
Your resume appears to be just a poorly worded version of Hamlet.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
I'm sorry to see you go but congrats on your new job as a government wall street regulator.
2.) I'm sorry to let you go but we can't tolerate that kind of offensive sign language.
3.) I'm sorry to see you go but congrats on your election to congress.
4.) Considering the amount of time we expected more than just the collected works of Christopher Marlowe.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
I'm sorry- I can't research your family tree without your last name.
Cal Sigler, Browns Summit
The interview was going very well until you flung that at me.
2.)The tough job market has allowed us to become very selective.
3.) I see you've had experience with lethal viruses,toxins,resistant bacteria....how are you still alive again?
4.) You seem to be a cut above our standard applicant.
5.) On the application under sex you've written you're bicurious George.
6.) We'll let you know. Next!
7.)Where the heck did Dr. Jekyl go?
8.) Nice advertising idea....where did Darrin Stevens go?
9.) Your man in the yellow hat reference said you were a troublemaking little #$%&.
10.) Retirement plan? Oh, that won't be necessary.
11.) How do you feel about the song "shock the monkey"?
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro
Question # 8: What is your usual bedtime, Mr. Boyd?
Joan Lux, Greensboro
Your resume says you are allergic to needles, sorry we can't use you.
Don Rankin, Greensboro
What kind of diet pills were you taking?
Don Rankin, Greensboro
I'm sorry, Mr Smith, that the experiment went wrong but there were never any guarantees.
I do realize that it's a jungle out there!
Why are you saying that the pills didn't work?
Well how tall did you want to be?
Really! And it shrank the suit as well?
We are really not that interested in finding a straight banana!
Why are we sitting outside this laboratory?
You claim you are a social climber?
Keith Peddie, Greensboro
"It says here Mr. Rickard, your last job was with the News-Record?
gregory whitfield
I see that you have Jane Goodall as a personal reference ....
Really, you were on "BJ and the Bear..." Don't remember it.
"Winning the "Joke's On You"...I guess anyone can win."
"If you have won the JOU, why can't I?"
"Sorry, we don't have any positions available in New York City."
'Donkey Kong expert. That isn't the kind of research we do here."
"You do realize that you are overdressed for the position."
Jon Barsanti, Hillsborough
Why do you desire a transfer to our Banana Republic lab location ?
So, you'd like to do research on the Banana Republics ?
This missing link research, are you referring to a computer link ?
Has all your career so far been in Zoology ?
Why do you want to study the nutritional value of bananas ?
Frank C. Leonardm Lexington
"Frankly, we are looking for more in a resume than 'received the swine flu vaccine'."
Kevin Little
This is a re-title for the monkey joke.
"Wait a little while longer and you will become a human"
Mrs. Hazel Jones, Browns Summit
Rhodes scholar,Harvard law,....I'm afraid you're over qualified for this job.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
"Tell me about your work experience at Organ Grinders, Inc."
"Your requested salary is a weekly bunch of bananas?!"
"So, you are the 'See No Evil' monkey!"
"This reference letter from Tarzan is very impressive!"
"Nice monkey suit!"
"This project is to see if you and nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine other monkeys can type randomly and create all the world's classic literature over time!"
"The job is to assist writing text for Brewster Rocket: Space Guy!"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro
"It is our contention, counselor, that those three mice were already blind."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale
"You want us to quit claiming we descended from you?"
"You think you are the missing link?"
From Bill Lawson
We're using cheaper lab rats now. No more monkey business.
Tim Tribbett
"Resume says you do work well with your peers."
"What do you mean you've always wanted to do a little monkey business on the side?"
"You see no conflict of interest here?"
"So your cousin who's always hated you told you about the position?"
"Which side of the microscopes and test tubes do you want to be on?"
Kris Voy, Trinity
I'm sorry sir, you just don't have the proper people skills!
There is an opening in the research department.
Ronnie Seagraves, Greensboro
Why you wearing the monkey suit on casual day ?
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington
" Your home address is The NC Zoo in Asheboro. Are you able to commute?"
" It says here, you are a swinger?"( first try to beat everyone)
"Seems like you have a limited vocabulary."
"Would work for bananas." ( typical, hope I beat everyone, no. 2)
"Former bell ringer for the Stock Market, hah."
"You are hired if you can wear shoes."
"We do require you to wear shoes and be able to scratch your b'hind before
making a decision."
"We don't put up with monkey business around here." ( No. 3 caption in the
race to beat everyone)
"We just don't have parking space to park an elephant. How about the lion, he's much faster? And again, we need someone for more than one day."
James E. Ferrell, McLeansville
My suggestion for the caption of the cartoon for this week is:
I have finished the job and you are definitely of alien descent.
Ward Burch, Greensboro
1. “Let me take the test again, I know I can do better then this.”
2. “Another blank research report. I’m beginning to think you embellished your resume.”
3. “Let see, ‘oix zj dili9e4’ I’m guessing you typed this report yourself.”
4. “Your Id transformed into your physical being?"
5. “I’m afraid you’re overqualified for government research.”
6. “This was suppose to be a double-blind study. What kind of monkey business is going on around here?”
7. “I see you received a human brain transplant. Now I know why Mr. Johnson threw his poop at me yesterday.”
8. “Day 3: Monkey still staring at me. Starting to feel self-conscious.”
Tom Norman, Greensboro
Sorry, you're over qualified.
R. Whitworth
There are no lab tech openings but I have another position in mind.
Tim Tribbett
We need some guinea pigs, if you know what I mean !
No monkey business, our funding has been cut !
You ever dreamed of being in orbit ?
You ever monkeyed around with a bunsen burner ?
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington
"..and that's how the rectal thermometer was invented."
"Doctors announced today that the source of the swine flu epidemic is a Mrs. Oprah Winfrey."
"In order to stop the spread of computer viruses, Bill Gates has introduced the Microsoft PC Condom."
"For my next trick, I will make my prostate sing the national anthem."
"Something is wrong, Doctor. I get a burning sensation every time my wife urinates."
"Count Chocula was arrested today for murdering the Trix Rabbit."
"In a stunning revelation, Stevie Wonder has admitted that he, in fact, can see."
"To help stop the crab grass epidemic that has crippled the English countryside, Prince Charles will let his wife, Camilla, graze for two hours every morning."
"I say, Portia; care for a night of buggery?"
"The last dental school in England has closed due to a lack of students."
"..and that's how blood pudding was discovered."
Bob Beitzel, Pleasant Garden
Hanneneh Mirmozaffari: It says here you have ten years' experience as a monkey groomer. You should go for a massage therapist's license.
Ty'Onna S.: You want to look up how many ants crawl into the human hair is a day????
Victor Carlos: Sorry we can't let you work here. How about researching about you instead? Let me start with, "Where did you get that suit?"
What can you do for us that a guinea pig or mouse can’t?
Tarzan?Barnum & Bailey?Jane Goodall, your references are impressive.
So you?re the candidate from The Temp Chimp Agency.
There?s a smudge here, does it say organ donor or grinder?
I see you went ape on your last job.
Gray Amick, Greensboro
“Ok kid, economy’s bad we’re going to have to lay you off”
“Sorry we’re not hiring. I don’t care that you can type faster with a tail”
Kristyn Carter, Reidsville
You're hired. There will be no need to explain your retirement benefits.
Dick Ellis
"Zippy, you know that it kills me to foreclose on a valued member of our research team, but, man, if you can't make your cage payments, my hands are tied!"
Reta Beck
1) If you were an animal what kind of......you know we're just going to skip that one.
2) The last guy kept painting the words on the windows backwards.
3) It's a nice offer but legally we can't pay you in bananas.
4) Now if I could get the name of your next of kin you will be part of the team.
5) This is your last warning! Here at RLI we will not tolerate any monkey business !
6) Welcome Mr. Curious George. I'm guessing you'll have plenty of questions for me.
7) The deal was I get you a job here and you get off my back.
8) So, how do you feel about needles ?
9) Sorry to write you up but those people bring those bananas for their lunch !
10) Remember the company motto : Monkey see....monkey gets sprayed again.
Darrell Clark
You'll be testing our new polishing solution "monkey shines".
2.) It says here your name is "see no evil".
3.) I'm afraid we only have openings for lab rats.
4.) We're promoting you to researcher.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
I see you have previous exprience working in a research lab!
2. I see the humane society thinks highly of you!
3. We'll have no monkey business around here!
4. Why did you leave your last job?
5. So you work well with others!
6. Do you really know Tarzan and can you get me an autograph?!
7. Do you have any known allergies to medications?
Nancy Nelson
"Says here you and 2000 of your peers wrote Hamlet. You're hired."
"We never test our products on animals. We love damn dirty apes."
Stephen Botts, Greensboro
Due to budget cuts we are transferring you from Research and making you our CFO.
In an attempt to spruce up our public image we've asked all employees to were suits.
The only opening we have is Research Test Animal but if you make it through that job you'll go far.
Noelle Polson, Jacksonville, Fla.
"As a test CEO, your random grunts and pointing outperformed all human CEOs. Our only concern is your giving yourself 20 million in bonus bananas."
Little, Kevin
"We would've loved to have you on our team Mr. Bush but unfortunately the application deadline was 12:00 Thursday!!"
"You've listed Sideshow Bob, Michael Jackson, Ronald Reagan, Bob Denver, and Barbara Bush as references...are you serious?"
"No we don't need help finding Weapons Of Mass Destruction..."
"So I see here that you are fluent in zero languages..."
"Let's just say that if we're successful you're family will be well taken care of..."
"It was the banana scented paper that piqued my interest..."
"When I saw you had typed the complete works of William Shakespeare I was intrigued..."
"I'm not paying this invoice...the lettering was supposed to be on the OUTSIDE of the window!"
"Here's one...a monkey, a squirrel, and Richard Heene all walk into a bar..."
"...and the mechanic says, 'It looks like you blew a seal' and the monkey says, 'It's Ice Cream I SWEAR, I SWEAR!!!"
"Actually, we've already figured out that Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer...we just can't get him to cry..."
"No, we're a research lab and we'll have none of that monkey business here!"
"Well, this will probably set back the theory of evolution about 1000 years..."
"OK...I give up...how many monkeys DOES it take to pick a winning caption?"
Bob Mannary, Greensboro
Mr. Monk, would you please elaborate on your last position, "Chaquita Tester #32"
Les Thomas
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