The Joke's On You
THIS WEEK'S CARTOON 110609
Entries due by noon Thursday, 11/12
Send your entries to jokesonyou@news-record.com
Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.
LAST WEEK’S CARTOON
A shout-out (and a pip-pip-cheerio) to Paul Pearson of Brighton, England who wins the award for longest distance entry. Paul said he was visiting NC and he enjoyed the Jokes on You and decided to enter. We’re international now!
This seemed a bit harder than usual. There were a lot of good dog or pet-related entries, but ones that were more wolf or Halloween related got higher consideration.
This seemed a bit harder than usual. There were a lot of good dog or pet-related entries, but ones that were more wolf or Halloween related got higher consideration.
WINNER
“I just reviewed your test results. You have what is commonly called a ‘Halloween costume’.”
Tom Norman, Greensboro
RUNNERS-UP
Could he have eaten anyone that disagreed with him?
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro
Was in a dead heat with the winning entry
“Yes, transmogrification is one of the rare side effects of his medication."
Kris Voy, Trinity
"Watch the cholesterol, avoid silver bullets, and call me in a month."
Gray Amick , Greensboro
"I'm sorry Ms Riding Hood but this really IS your grandmother."
Paul Pearson, Brighton, England
Expect a lot of huffing and puffing.
Bill Wallace, High Point
“The best I could do is give you a lunar calendar.”
Joel Clark, Greensboro
"Well how much Rogaine did he use?"
Joel Tuggle, Archdale
"You found it in your husband's lab, Mrs. Hyde?"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro
Actually, I didn’t think of this at the time, but it would have been “Mrs. Jekyll.”
JR. CATEGORY WINNER
"At least you'll save on Halloween costumes."
Carlee Shepard, 11, The Academy at Lincoln
JR. CATEGORY RUNNER-UP
"I see you've been reading too much Twilight."
Nick Voy, Trinity, age 10
ANOTHER COUNTRY RERESENTED BY JOU
I enjoyed seeing these cartoons and captions when visiting N.Carolina, and I felt I should attempt at least one, so here goes:
"I'm sorry Ms Riding Hood but this really IS your grandmother."
Regards
Paul Pearson, Brighton, England
"I'm sorry Ms Riding Hood but this really IS your grandmother."
Regards
Paul Pearson, Brighton, England
OK, we’ve had Canada in the past and now we have England representing! Any other countries out there want to get in on the fun? I’m looking at you, France!
PSYCHIC ENTRIES FOR NEXT WEEK’S CARTOON (entries received before the cartoon even appeared)
No, Josh. Candy Corn is not considered a vegetable. Eat your beets.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST OBSCURE CULTURAL REFERENCE
It’s nothing, Mrs. Howard. I’m sure Scott will be fine in the morning.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
"Fred? Fred Miller? You ol sonofagun I haven't seen you since high school."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale
Joel Tuggle, Archdale
OK, I give up. Is this a movie reference?
I'm sorry Mrs. Solo but Chewbaca Jr. can't be seen today.
Chris Marland, Greensboro
FOR FANS OF TWIGHLIGHT:
"Can you he get me Jacob Black's autograph?"
"Hey Jacob, can you get me esme cullens autograph? She is HOT!"
"I'm sorry Jacob, but, Bella's a fictional character"
"No, why would bella be at the vet?"
"No, Nessie is not here either"
"Who's Nessie, some type of new Halloween candy?"
'If he wants to speak to nessie i suggest dr.Cullens. why would she be at the vet?"
"Hey Jacob, can you get me esme cullens autograph? She is HOT!"
"I'm sorry Jacob, but, Bella's a fictional character"
"No, why would bella be at the vet?"
"No, Nessie is not here either"
"Who's Nessie, some type of new Halloween candy?"
'If he wants to speak to nessie i suggest dr.Cullens. why would she be at the vet?"
Jordan Frye, 10, Millis Road Elementary
SO ENIGMATIC IT’S FUNNY
Wait here -- I'll see if he left his flip-flops in the examining room.
The rash will clear up if you switch him to boxers.
Just relax and enjoy him.
Joan Lux, Greensboro
BEST INSIDE JOKE
I know a specialist who deals with your kind of case. His name is Dr. Tribbett.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
You say this happens to Tim Rickard every October 31?
j wright, greensboro
BEST POEM
To the vet, wolf man’s mother is heading.
It’s not howling at moon’s that she’s dreading.
She goes on to explain
That he needs some Rogaine
Since she hates to clean up from his shedding.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
MATURE
1.) Remember,no food the morning before he gets neutered.
6.)Neutering will decrease his leg humping and spraying problems.
8.) Scooting? Probably those pesky anal glands again.
2.)You can go ahead and schedule his N..E..U..T..E..R.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
"Are you sure, are you sure? He's so young for 'That' operation."(use your imagination)
James E. Ferrell, McLeansville
If he's your husband, are you really sure you want him fixed?
k. wright, Greensboro
Sorry, your sperm count is too low!
Nancy Nelson
We can do the nails and flea dip tonight but we will need to wait until morning for the neutering procedure.
Dean Tribbett, Va Beach
OTHER VOTE-GETTING CAPTIONS
“Your son should be fine, it’s just puberty.”
Tom Norman, Greensboro
This is going to cost extra.
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro
Which one of you is next ?
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington
SCHOOL ENTRIES
The Academy at Lincoln
"At least you'll save on Halloween costumes."
Carlee Shepard, 11,
From Louise Monroe -
Rankin School junior entries
fourth grade:
Thao Vi Thi Huynh: Let me guess: you have a furry little child.
Kyara Bellamy: Let me see how I can talk to you?! Wooooo! Woo! Wooooo!
Alexis Witt: Are you nuts? Why did you marry him?
Jessica W: Please change back my husband before the full moon.
Jordyn Drumwright: Is it a full moon yet?
fifth grade:
Zaira G.: Why are you still wearing your Halloween costume?
Chelsea D. Sosa: You'd better get out of here. Edward's coming!
Sawyer Roach: I know you are here for him, but I think you need a silver bullet.
Rose Tucker: You look perfect together. Who's the wife?
Brittany C.: Ma'am, is this your husband or a dog that looks completely like a man with hair on him?
L. Goodman: Who's his mom, Godzilla?
Taniya S.: Get that putrid mutt out of my house!
Washington School
Hannaneh Mirmozaffari: Sorry kid, but your costume won't get you out of school.
Ayaunta: Your husband looks more like a wolf than a man. Are you sure he shaves every hour?
Ty'Onna S: I should have known. Tonight is a full moon. Soooo, what do you need, a rabies shot?
Victor Carlos: So is he a man or a pet? I need to know to help with your problem.
Frazier
fourth graders
J. D.: Sorry I have to say this, but could you tell him not to eat me?
Zachary: I'm no zoology expert, but that's one big dog!
Jaylan Gainey: Who let the dogs out?
A.J.: Chewbacca is not allowed in here so, uh, uh, uh... just get him out of here and give him the shots yourself!
April A.: Is this a Halloween prank, or am I on "Punk'd?"
fifth graders
Nahla Graham: You two look great together!
Martin J. H.: Yes, we do have flea control, ma'am.
Mekensie Bostic: Let me guess. You are a nurse trying to cure his skin disease.
TeAsia Holliman: The woods are up the street.
Angel Nguyen: Don't worry, miss, I see this every day. Take him to the pound.
Jayna Patel: Lucky me. It's time for my lunch break.
SL: Hey, sis, howl's you doing with your dog?
Deja Headen: Is this your werewolf? We don't have a specialist for adult werewolves.
THE REST
1.) Remember,no food the morning before he gets neutered.
2.) Some tenderness at the site of the rabies vaccination is to be expected.
3.) An elizabethan collar should keep him from chewing his neuter incision.
4.) He'll need the kennel cough vaccine if you plan on boarding him.
5.) Sudden changes in diet often result in diarrhea.
6.)Neutering will decrease his leg humping and spraying problems.
7.) Please keep him on a leash while you're in the waiting area.
8.) Scooting? Probably those pesky anal glands again.
9.) Let me see if I can find a muzzle to fit him first.
10.) This is going to cost extra.
11.) I'm sorry but I don't work on wolf hybrids.
12.) Just put his pills in a little meatball.
13.) Just let me keep the silver bullets and we'll call it even.
14.) I'm afraid he has heartworms.
15.) I don't think they covered this in vet school.
16.) Where did all the other clients go?
17.) When he changes back I'll transfer him to an M.D.
18.) Eating Michael Moore would upset anyone's stomach.
19.) Hey Frank,here's a good case for ya.
20.) Hair loss around the tail base often indicates flea allergy.
21.) I know he likes it but cat food isn't a suitable diet for him.
22.) He had a piece of someone lodged behind his molar.
23.) Are you dropping him off for the rabies quarantine?
24.) No eating anyone until he's gone 24 hours without vomiting.
25.) Has anyone talked to you about heartworm prevention?
26.) I'm sorry but even if I induce vomiting I doubt the paper boy would be in one piece.
27.) We've got some great flea and tick preventatives.
28.) Could he have eaten anyone that disagreed with him?
29.) I'm putting him on a bland diet of cub scouts and librarians.
30.) He's got a bad case of ear mites.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
On the boarding form where it asks about his diet you wrote "kennel staff."
Tim Tribbett
My advice to you, ma'am, is to take two wolfsbane and call me in the morning.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Chain him up and call me after sunrise.
Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.
Keep him away from the silverware.
Tim Williams, Greensboro
I gave him a shot, but he really needs to see a Lycanthrophy expert at UNC.
Ken Layton, Carthage
There's some mange, but he's really got a bad case of distemper.
Ken Layton, Carthage
After a good flea dip he'll be good to go Trick or Treat-ing.
Ken Layton, Carthage
"My granddaughter, Red, introduced us."
"No, don't change him back, just give him his shots."
"The up side is that he only goes out now when the moon is full."
"No, there hasn't been any major differences except the howling."
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro
"Without his DNA, I can't help you lady."
Hally Rankin, Greensboro
It's nothing, Mrs. Howard. I'm sure Scott will be fine in the morning.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
We can do the nails and flea dip tonight but we will need to wait until morning for the neutering procedure.
Dean Tribbett, Va Beach
I know a specialist who deals with your kind of case. His name is Dr. Tribbett.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
The pet costume competition was yesterday, but thanks for letting me see him on Halloween.
Hally Rankin, Greensboro
"The bad news is that I can't change back your werewolf husband, Mrs. Jones. But on the bright side, today we have a half-off special on flea-dipping."
I'm sorry, we only take patients that walk on all four paws.
Chris Marland, Greensboro
No, I will not "groom" your husband for you.
Chris Marland, Greensboro
I'm sorry Mrs. Solo but Chewbaca Jr. can't be seen today.
Chris Marland, Greensboro
"At least he won't need a Halloween costume."
"On the bright side, we do have a neutering special this month."
"So where were you last night? Get it? Were?"
Amy LaJeunesse, Greensboro
"Instead of divorce...can you put him down?"
Daniah Swaim, Greensboro
"Instead of divorce...can I just have him put down?"
Daniah Swaim, Greensboro
"I told him to stop drinking out of the toilet!"
Jeff Swaim, Greensboro
1.) I'm really starting to reconsider that all creatures great and small crap.
2.)You can go ahead and schedule his N..E..U..T..E..R.
3.) It would be easier if you just brought in a stool sample next time.
4.) This is nothing. I used to be Cujo's vet.
5.)The groomer wants to know if you want him to get the poodle cut again.
6.) I may have to start closing during full moons.
7.) That rabies vaccine is good for 3 years.
8.) Next!
9.) We can microchip him in case he gets lost.
10.) Vomiting? It may be someone he ate.
11.) His nose being wet doesn't mean a thing.
12.) Can you please return my thermometer when it comes out?
13.) That was the worst hot spot I've ever seen.
14.) He just ate Mrs.Shelton's schnoodle dog!
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro
Full moon and swine flu...that sucks!
Craig Moon
Nice try but you still might be better off with a government option.
Craig Moon, High Point
I can examine him just fine from over here.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
Kennel cough is very contagious so keep him away from other werewolves.
Tim Tribbett
1.) I got the short straw.
2.) I really need to sharpen my rock,paper,scissors skills.
3.)When she gets off the file cabinet the receptionist will check you in.
4.)Could I interest you in one of our fine flea and tick preventatives?
5.) You'll have to sign the sedation consent form.
6.) He has a sneaker lodged in his small intestine.
7.) Our nail trims just went up to 1000 bucks.
8.) Please tell me you didn't just say his tooth hurts.
9.) He needs to stop eating with silverware.
10.) I think IAMS makes a werechow.
11.) He ate my support staff.
12.) No more table scraps.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
"Stress usually causes hair to fall OUT."
"Yup, all men are dogs."
"Sorry, ma'am, I lost my lycanthropy license."
"He's old, and you need him put down?"
"You say this stray wandered up on Halloween night?"
"I guess he can no longer talk about your chin hair."
"Yes, transmogrification is one of the rare side effects of his medication."
"You like that he now sleeps at the foot of the bed, but you hate the puddles on the carpet?"
"My wife is on Team Edward."
Kris Voy, Trinity
"Lucky for you...we're running the Teacher's Pet special."
Dave Voy, Trinity
"I see you've been reading too much Twilight."
Nick Voy, Trinity, age 10
1. You're a weird wolf!
2. I'll have to send you to a specialist, all my instruments are made of silver!
3. I told you to stop listening to that radio station 93.1 WOLF!
4. Stop walking him in that wooded cemetary!.
5. When you lie down with dogs you get fleas!
6. There is no cure for Howling at the Moon!
7. What do you mean where's the fire hydrant!
8. We need a urine sample, please use the marked tree out back!
9. We need a blood sample, our vampire is in the lab!
10. It'll never work,you two are incompatible!
11. Sorry, your sperm count is too low!
12. I'm not clipping those nails!
13. It's not HOWLoween!
14. Too many treats, I see!
15. Wolf, wolf, wolf!
16. How do you think the Wolf Pack will do this year?
17. You have canine flu!
18. Got fleas!
29. Spooky!
30. What do you mean you can't get your costume off?
31. Have you been eating human food again?
32. How long did you say you were on that deserted island?
33. Isn't it a little late for Halloween!
34. Take two aspirins and call me in the morning!
35. I don't do fang extractions!
36. Is this supposed to scare me?
Nancy Nelson
“Sorry Mrs. Easley, but Mike can no longer be treated under the revised standards for the state health plan.”
Donna Butterfield
1.) It creeps me out when he licks my face.
2.)No more Coors light.
3.)Well,if he was diabetic as a human he'll still need insulin now.
4.)Have you tried an invisible fence?
5.) I know your husband and this is a big improvement.
6.) The rabies tag hooks right on the collar.
7.) No more fighting with vampires.
8.) Have you tried purina werechow?
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro
(1) I understand your problem, ma'am, but I'm afraid the free spay-neuter clinic closed last week. Perhaps I could interest you in our groomingservices?
(2) I'm sorry, but you'll need to take that up with your congressman. We've been told quite definitely that the "public option" *doesn't* cover lycanthropy.
(3) Well, yes. In this case I guess there *is* a silver bullet for your situation.
David Wharton, Greensboro
"At least you'll save on Halloween costumes."
Carlee Shepard, Jamestown
"Sorry, I can't make him look like a Twilight werewolf."
"Sure, we can 'fix' your husband while the moon is full."
"Sorry, he's still not covered under your health insurance."
Sharon Shepard, Jamestown
"On the bright side, I know a casting agent for the next Twilight movie."
Beth Shepard (13), Jamestown Penn-Griffin School for the Arts
"You found it in your husband's lab, Mrs. Hyde?"
"It looks like a recessive family gene, Mrs. Wolf!"
"I've seen your husband. It's a family thing!"
"Moon howling, neck biting, sounds like a typical teenage boy!"
"Besides moon howling and neck biting, anything else unusual?"
"I don't treat large animals!"
"You say it happens every Halloween season!"
"He needs a physical for high school football?!"
"The mascot uniform was super glued on?!"
"Your family doctor wants a second opinion from me?!"
"Take him to the barber, dentist and tailor before I examine him!"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro
"You're depressed because State is not winning?"
Carolyn Mitchell
1.) It's a good thing I took that continuing ed class in Transylvania.
2.) ..and try not to piss off anymore gypsies.
3.)...and try not to tick off anymore gypsies.
4.) I'll start the exam right after I change my pants.
5.) Hell hounds,Cujo,Dracula's dog,the creature from the black lagoon and now this! I hate Halloween.
6.) I know you like fine dining but real silverware is a big NO NO.
7.) I normally say no table food but in his case I'm not sure.
8.) Will you kindly tell Dr. Smith that I think a #$%& M.D. should examine him.
9.) I'm referring him to a Lycan specialist way way outta town.Yeah,that's the ticket.
10.) I'm referring him to the old gypsy across town.
11.)Ummm,nice doggie?
12.) Don't pay any attention to that man with the tranquilizer gun.
13.) You want to board him how long?
14.) I musta gotten up on the wrong side of the bed.
15.) I would feel more comfortable if he stands on all fours.
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro
"Yes, we told you it was the ideal small dog. We did warn you not to overfeed these Yorkies."
" lf you insist on a second opinion, he's ugly. "
" I suggest a treadmill...outdoor exercise would not be a good idea. "
"Remember, no more moonlight strolls or hair of the dog drinking."
"You stole her mouth? Now bring it here and I'll give you a nice big juicy steak!"
Steve Kindschi, Asheboro
"You sure the only change in Mr. Clinton is the excessive hair growth?"
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro
"Look at the bright side, now he'll only go out when the moon is full."
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro
"Like I told another Mom yesterday, it's the hormones in the chicken..."
Glenn Beckum, Summerfield
If he's your husband, are you really sure you want him fixed?
k. wright, Greensboro
1. Just let me get my cape and we can leave.
2. The Hair Club for Men meeting is next door.
3. "There wolf".
4. So, Rogaine does have side effects.
5. I can't cure him, but I can fix him.
6. I think we can bill half to insurance.
7. Thanks for doing this Steve; you'll be a hit at the convention.
Eric Grimm, Greensboro
Tim Rickard every October 31?
j wright, greensboro
" Did he eat the forbidden dog food?"
"You got to stop visiting those dating sites."
"Crooked teeth is not the only problem you got."
"Shame on you, he only a puppy."
"Okay, Halloween is over."
"Can you come back later. I got Catwoman on the table right now."
"Are you sure, are you sure? He's so young for 'That' operation."(use your imagination)
"Are you next to kin?"
" Talk about being married to an old bone."
James E. Ferrell, McLeansville
Like this? Since last Halloween. I should never have used Super-glue
I met this guy, Hyde ...
I keep doing disgusting things in the street.
I do not have an opposable thumb.- can you help?
I don't seem to fit in anywhere.
Our doctor said we should come to you.
My nine siblings look just like me.
I've always had a very deep voice.
My distemper is getting worse.
Keith Peddie, Greensboro
“Well at least we got him out of the 'Sheep's Clothing'.”
"You didn't know that he was a wolf when you married him?"
"Don't tell me, "you really didn't know"."
"It would really help if you let him sleep inside."
"And, keep him away from the Kibbles & Bits."
"I'll let you know when that new flea collar comes in."
"Gee lady, your husbands really a dog!"
Chuck Norton, Reidsville
Go home and give him a flea bath and try to stop him from scratching.
Chris Marland, Greensboro
No Ma'am, there is no such thing as howlingatthemoonitis.
Chris Marland, Greensboro
"Oh, and he's got a little bit of mange."
"And I'd like to see him back in a couple of weeks.
"You can't be mad at him for killing, it's what they do."
"If he's going out only during a full moon, I'm sure it's just a phase."
"Next time use a rolled up paper, we don't want to break his spirit."
"And for gosh sakes don't let him drink another Coors Light."
"No, the shot won't change him but now, he just won't care."
"Well how much Rogaine did he use?"
Joel Tuggle, Archdale
You know he does look a lot like your husband Fred.
Don't worry lady we want undress him in front of any females.
Don Rankin, Greensboro
"Well Doctor, I think he drank a little too much of the hair of the dog....."
Lynda Garrett, Liberty
My Blue Cross just went up 11% too but he still can't use it here.
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro
1.) I'll take your word for it that he's running a temp
2.) Tell him to open wide and I'll throw the pill in.
Tim Tribbett
"No, I can't change back your werewolf husband, Mrs. Jones. But on the bright side, today is our half-off special on flea-dipping!"
Kevin Little
"I'm sorry Ms Riding Hood but this really IS your grandmother."
Paul Pearson, Brighton, England
I'm sorry but he can't use his Blue Cross here.
Tim Tribbett
The rash will clear up if you switch him to boxers.
A dentist friend waxed poetic over his pair of carnassials.
Just relax and enjoy him.
Don't worry, he's been fixed.
We're booked up for this year's full moons.
Joan Lux, Greensboro
1. “You may notice a higher pitch when his howls.”
2. “Your son should be fine, it’s just puberty.”
3. “Must be a full moon.”
4. “He may start howling again when he gets my bill.”
5. “Your kitten just asked to be placed in protective custody.”
6. “Sorry, I don’t have a ‘moon’ vaccine.”
7. “I just reviewed your test results. You have what is commonly called a ‘Halloween costume’.”
8. “Don’t worry, you’re in good hands - I went to night school .”
9. “Remember to wear moon block when you go out at night.”
10. "I recommend a breath mint."
Tom Norman, Greensboro
"Have you noticed any other pecularities?"
"Just have a seat folks, I've just got two ahead of you."
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just assumed it was a costume."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale
"I don't think you need a vet, just back off of the Rogain."
"I knew I shouldn't have started evening hours."
"I don't think we studied werewolf bites in vet school."
Ken Cockerham, Greensboro
Who's next ?
What happened to that turkey who was next in line ?
Full Moon again, Huh ?
Which one of you is next ?
What makes you think the swine flu vaccine is responsible ?
Where did the rabbit go that was up next ?
Which Branch, Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force, or Coast Guard ?
You say he's biting your head off alot lately ?
At least he's still vertical !
I don't see'em till they're on all four !
Went from Cub Scout to Wolf, Hum !
I'd say he's going through a life change !
You want a make-over, I guess ?
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington
Wait here -- I'll see if he left his flip-flops in the examining room.
Joan Lux, Greensboro
"Then, he said, the better to bite you with, my dear?"
"So, Larry, you haven't felt fulfilled since you were the mascot at State?"
"And as for the tail, Mr. Blitzer, I suggest you dress left!!"
"For Halloween, you dressed in sheep's clothing?"
"First, big eyes, then big teeth and ears - now that too!!"
"Yes, I'm sure the full moon is no longer fun!!"
"Sure, but I'll bet now you'll get a discount at that great lodge in Concord."
"You probably should not have said, in lupus corpore transmuto!"
"Old age really is a bitch!"
"I'm afraid your insurance doesn't cover this."
"It's probably too late to neuter."
"Most extreme case of Lupus I've seen!"
"And now the bad news....."
"At least there are lots more roles in movies for you now."
"Thomas, you probably need more that a flu shot!"
"No mam, it's not contagious...as long as he keeps his mouth shut."
"Mr. Talbot.....take two bane and call me in the morning."
"I suggest a good razor.....at least a Mach XX!"
"Don't worry....the Lone Ranger dies a long time ago!"
"Except for that you're fine!"
"Even though there are a few side effects....We've cured your E.D.!!"
"Tell me more about this fear of Bob Seger."
"Mrs. Talbot, you say he's started sleeping in a granny gown and night cap?"
Mike Riley, Jamestown
On the bright side, Jack could become the host of "The Midnight Special."
Ken Sheldon, Elon
It sounds like you're seeing tapeworms.
2.) I can't cure him but I will update his rabies vaccine.
3.) PLEASE just bring a urine sample next time.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
"And just yesterday, coming to work, a deer was standing right there."
"Fred? Fred Miller? You ol sonofagun I haven't seen you since high school."
"Did my assistant come this way? Pretty. Long neck. Faints easily."
"What's the matter, I thought I heard a scream."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale
1) " Beats going bald !!! "
2) " I suggest getting him house broken, QUICK !!!! "
3) " It's the first time one of my patients drove themselves to their appointment. "
4) " The best I could do is give you a lunar calendar. "
5) " It has more to do with the toxic waste dump you live beside than the full moon. "
Joel Clark, Greensboro
37. I can't take your temperature, my thermometer has mercury in it!
38. This happens every full moon!
39. I don't have any wolfie treats.
Nancy Nelson
"This is the last time I take in a foreign exchange student from Transylvania."
"Watch the cholesterol, avoid silver bullets, and call me in a month."
Gray Amick, Greensboro
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