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Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

LAST WEEK'S CARTOON
What was it like judging this week's entries? Read the following: "AFLAK!" Now read it a couple hundred more times and you've just read this week's entries. We picked from those entries based on variation and which ones we received first. But overall, good entries for a very limited-themed cartoon.
Personal note to Jimmy Carter of Eden: You're welcome, and thank YOU!
Rankin was the school winner this week in the Jr. category.

WINNER
The heck with Disney company policy!
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro

JR. DIVISION WINNER
I have a good feeling I'm going to be the toughest one in the lake.
Thao Vi Thi Huynh

JR. DIVISION RUNNER-UP
Ajay L: Give me a tattoo of Quacker Oats.

RUNNERS-UP
"A nice 'V', with me in the lead"
Stephen Botts, Greensboro

Put "DECOY" with letters big enough to see across a lake!
Kevin Little

"Daisy Forever"
Judy Riedel, High Point

"So I finally ask her for her number ...turns out she was just a decoy."
Bob Mannary

"How about ‘Fly south or die'"
Mike. Creech, Springboro, OH

Will you accept a down payment
Bill Wallace, High Point

OUCHFLAC!
Tony Hummel, Reidsville

"Anything but AFLAC."
Bob & Juanita Langlais, Kernersville

BEST OBSCURE CULTURAL REFERENCE
AFLAC jokes from everybody

Can you do Anthony Edwards in "Top Gun?"
Ken Sheldon, Elon

"I miss Little John..."
"Why Gilbert Gottfried...I mean really...I don't sound anything like that...do I?"
"So he says, 'Hey wait a minute, since when is Pismo Beach inside a cave?'"
"...and when he ejects out of the jet he hits the canopy and it kills him...I admit it...I cried..."
Bob Mannary

Can you do something by Audubon?
Tim Tribbett.Greensboro

The ink just keeps flowing off like some sorta liquid off an aquatic fowl's dorsal region.
Tim Tribbett

"How about "Confit before dishonor?"
Stephen Botts, Greensboro

"Give me something despicable."
Tom Norman, Greensboro

BEST INSIDE JOKE
Something tasteful maybe. Like Bucky the Robot?
Marsha Minsky, LosCon 36

BEST/WORST PUN
Several that mentioned putting it on his bill.

Will you accept a down payment?
Bill Wallace, High Point

BEST POEM
Said the goose, with the highest of candor,
"I'm in love with a prize of a gander!"
So she put out her wing
And endured lots of sting
As an artist proceeded to brand her.
Ken Sheldon, Elon

My mom said tattoos are taboo.
I say what harm can they do!
I would not be me
if I couldn't fly free,
I know she cares, but it's time for her to let me go,
Sometimes she needs to listen to me!
In reality,
it's only a way to express my personality!
Since I love her dearly.
just put MOM in a big red heart! Then she'll know
wherever I go,
whatever I do, she'll always stay with me.
Nancy Nelson

Decisions, decisions, decisions,
I want a tattoo with a lot of vision,
could it be Duke, State or Wake?
Naw ! that I could not take.
I think I will go with Carolina Blue,
a big horned Ram and Nike shoe.
When they come home from the final four
I will be there to greet them at the door.
Go Heels!
Don Rankin, Greensboro

MATURE
"What's invisible and smells like the Christmas Dinner?"
Bob Mannary
I don't wanna know.

BEST WRONG CAPTION TO THIS WEEK'S CARTOON
"OH, HE'S TOO FINN-ICKY!!!!
(from a cartoon months ago featuring goldfish)

TOP VOTE GETTERS
In order (several of these had the same number of votes)
This week, for the first time, none of my top picks were picked by any other judge.
Can you guess the ones I voted for?
The heck with Disney company policy!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

Will you accept a down payment
Bill Wallace, High Point

"A nice 'V', with me in the lead"
Stephen Botts , Greensboro

"How about ‘Fly south or die'"
Mike. Creech, Springboro, OH

"Anything but AFLAC."
Bob & Juanita Langlais, Kernersville

"Daisy Forever"
Judy Riedel, High Point

"So I finally ask her for her number...turns out she was just a decoy..."
Bob Mannary

OUCHFLAC!!!!!!!
Tony Hummel, Reidsville

Put "DECOY" with letters big enough to see across a lake!
Kevin Little

Nothing fancy,it's almost time for me to molt.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

"I don't know, Dude. Just wing it!"
Sharon Shepard, Jamestown

I want" If you can read this you're migrating too closely"
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

You had the only shop approved by PETA
Bill Wallace, High Point

"Two words: ‘F&@# Aflac!' "
Bob Beitzel, Pleasant Garden

"OK! Now feather the edges."
John Koppel, Greensboro

I want a tattoo of a blue sailor suit covering my whole upper torso.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

I want the Chinese symbols for "Not for consumption."
Noelle Polson, Jacksonville, FL

I'm not sure "Born to quack" will raise any eyebrows.
Bill Wallace, High Point

Surely you can hit a sitting duck, can't you ?
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

"Try not to ruffle my feathers."
Tom Norman, Greensboro

Hurry before the booze wears off !
Tom Norman, Greensboro

THE SCHOOLS
Rankin Elementary, submitted by Louise Monroe
Nicholas H: Give me a swan-tacular tattoo, man.

Zaira G: Shave off my feathers first so my mother won't see my tattoo when they grow back.

Thanh N: Don't put a tattoo on me or you'll have a wing that'll flap in your face.

Amanda C. Whitfield: I would like a tattoo with a rainbow pony and a lollipop.

Chelsea D. Sosa: Hey, bald dude, I want it in big letters, "Twilight Zone reeks!"

Holly R: I hope Bugs Bunny won't come up to me and say, "What's up, Doc?"

Kionah F: Put my girlfriend's name on in erasable ink.

Ashlee Askew: Is this ink something I can wash off because my wife didn't want me to get one?

Sawyer R: Dude, I think I want something like AFLAC.

Taniya S: Guess I won't be able to say quack-a-doodle-doo!

Thao Vi Thi Huynh: I have a good feeling I'm going to be the toughest one in the lake.

Imani Campbell: Hey watch out! You might rip MY shirt, too.

Kyara B: Be quiet and let me give a tattoo already!

Jasmine Watson: Is that needle going to 'quack' me up?

Erin Anderson: Hey, before you start, let me say something....OUCH!

Sharee M: Please put I'm a swan, not a duck. Swans are cuter than ducks.

Frazier Elementary, submitted by Louise Monroe
Arianna Wright: So, like dude, do you have a duck on a motorcycle? Quack!

Ajay L: Give me a tattoo of Quacker Oats.

April Alcantar: Artist: Are you sure you want this tattoo?
Duck: My wife won't be quacking when she sees this.

Nathanael Greene Elementary, submitted by Jennifer Caligan, 5th Grade Teacher
1. "Can you make it a picture of Carl Edwards?" AFLAC!
By: Joshua Apple

2. I hope I don't get a "bill" for this!
By: Shelby Williams

3. Maybe if I have tattoos the fox and wolf will think I'm tough!
By: Morgan Register

THE REST
Nothing fancy,it's almost time for me to molt.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

"A...F...L...A...C..."
(hope that cancels out all the other AFLAC jokes!)
Sorry, it didn't.
"I miss Little John..."
"Why Gilbert Gottfried...I mean really...I don't sound anything like that...do I?"
"Can you just put it on my bill..."
"This is gonna ruffle a few feathers..."
"Huh...I guess you're right...if I walk like a duck and I sound like a duck..."
"No daggers or swords...the holidays are coming..."
"Dude...that's a soldering iron..."
"Can you do a zipper?"
"I must be quackers to be doing this..."
"So he says, 'Hey wait a minute, since when is Pismo Beach inside a cave?'"
"...and when he ejects out of the jet he hits the canopy and it kills him...I admit it...I cried..."
"So I finally ask her for her number...turns out she was just a decoy..."
"Phhhfffttt...Hey?!?!?...Did somebody step on a duck?"
"What's invisible and smells like the Christmas Dinner?"
"That's Daffy Duck with a 'D' not with an 'F'!!"
"A guy and a duck are walking down the street together. Suddenly the guy notices a low flying airplane coming right at them. The guy yells out 'DUCK!!!!' The duck looks angrily at the guy and yells 'MAN!!!'
Bob Mannary

"Daisy Forever"
Judy Riedel, High Point

What do you mean you've never heard of Aflac?
Pam Hart, Siler City

"AFLAC!"
Paul J. Klosterman, High Point.

Put "MOM" in an egg on my upper wing.
Ken Layton, Carthage

Put "AFLAC" in a heart on my chest.
Ken Layton, Carthage

I'll pay extra if the tattoo captures my waddle.
Do I have to be plucked for this tattoo?
A really big fancy heart . . . and "Donald."
I want my coat of arms with the motto "Semper Quacking."
I'm a swimmer -- make my tattoo suitable for YouTube.
Any tattoo without the word "lame" in it.
Joan Lux Greensboro

1) its spelled...A..F...L..A...C
2) i hope you guys have a good insurance company
3) i want that gieco lizard put right here..
4) im lightheaded, you could knock me over with a feather
5) you said how much does this cost.....a hundred beaks?
6) i did this same tattoo on a goose last week
7) its like deja vu, next your gonna cook me
8) duck duck choose already
9) ouch....**** a duck
10) i said a mallard not a mallot....geez
tyler olson-greensboro

A tattoo of my 8 ducklings -- but leave off the word "octoduck."
Joan Lux Greensboro

Can you do Anthony Edwards in "Top Gun?"
Ken Sheldon, Elon

Daffy is going to be psyched that I put his picture on my wing.
Do you do bill piercings here too?
This will prove I'm no chicken!
OUCHFLAC!!!!!!!
Tony Hummel, Reidsville

1.) I hope my AFLAC pays if it gets infected.
2.) 2.) An arrow pointing south please.Last winter I ended up in Canada!
3.) 3.) I can't pull off that Navy costume without some tats.
4.) 4.) The heck with Disney company policy!
5.) 5.) I hope my AFLAC pays for hepatitis!
6.) Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

"All the other ducks are getting one, and I just want to fit in."
"Yes, Mother Duck, inside a heart."
"I'd like a cartoon duck getting a tattoo."
"Just put this tattoo on my bill."
"How about 'Fly south or die'"
"I would also like my ears and lip pierced. If only I had ears and lips!"
"If I had ears and lips, I'd get them pierced too while I am here."
Mike. Creech, Springboro, OH

"That's right, it was Momma's family name,...A...F...L...A...C!
Bruce Aglio, Kernersville

"Go easy on the feathers. this is my first tattoo!"
Janice Gore, High Point

"Aflac duck gone gangster"
ali williamson, age 11, Summerfield

Why am I doing this ?
Will this hurt ?
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

"I hope you are using waterproof ink..."
Rich Riedel, Durham

This will probably ruffle a few feathers back at home office.
Stop ! I need a commercial break !
Think this will ruffle a few feathers back at the office ?
Wait till the Easter Bunny sees this !
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

Just put it on my bill !
Of course I'll pay. Just put it on my bill !
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

"I don't know, Dude. Just wing it!"
Sharon Shepard, Jamestown

"I hope you use clean quills..."
Laura Riedel, Durham

"Aflac.........Helvetica....36......BOLD."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

This should be just "ducky!"
Diana Carter, Reidsvill

Can you put "paid in full" on my bill??
Yes, I'm 18, but I left my ID at home.
I'm sober, didn't you notice how I waddled in.
I don't care if it is your weekly special, I don't want a "bullseye" on my back.
Ronnie Harrison

Put "Susie"---if things don't work out with her, I'm molting next week anyway!
Put "DECOY" with letters big enough to see across a lake!
Put an arrow pointing North---I'm migrating this week and hate asking directions!
Kevin Little

I want it to look like my face saying ... QUAAAAACK
Erin

"I just want a Nest, Mom, and an Arrow thru it"
Daniel J. King, High Point

You scare me Dude!
Make it quick,I hate needles.
Don't you hate it when?they look at you and say"Quack"?
I have a great health plan, they even pay for tattoo removal!
That's right"I love DD in a red heart" Make it quick.
I hope you know First Aid, I'm a bleeder
Rick O'Reilly, Greensboro

"Put it on my bill."
Paul J. Klosterman, High Point.

1.) Can you tattoo some feathers where I've molted?
2.) 2.) I want a tattoo of a blue sailor suit covering my whole upper torso.
3.) 3.)This HAS to be the most realistic whole body duck tattoo ever done!
4.) 4.) I want some camoflauge for duck hunting season.
5.) 5.)After the arm I want a damp stamp above my tail feathers.
6.) Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

I'm pretty sure there's only one "F" in Aflac.
Ed Deckert, Summerfield

Hansboro or Lawson ? I just can't decide.
Don Rankin, Greensboro

Duck!
Paul and Robin Timmins

I was thinking about a 747.
Elaine Snipes, Greensboro

1. "Bold letters please, ALFLAC."
2. "I've got Mother on my chest, Rose on my other arm, Kiss Here on my butt, and leaving on my mind!"
3. "I've heard of Navy seals, but never knew about the duck Marines."
4. "Can I pluck my feathers and start over if I don't like it?"
5. "I have no duck to call my own, I should duck my head into water, but then I would be a lame duck, I think I'll duck out of here."
Cheryl Kidd, Greensboro

Can you do something by Audubon?
Tim Tribbett.Greensboro

"Make me Mallard green."
"Give me Daffy, Donald, and Howard."
"If anything goes wrong, I'm covered."
"You smell chicken?"
"Reminds me of a past oil spill accident."
Ian Knight, Greensboro

I want a donkey on the left one and an elephant on the right one.
Tim Tribbett

1. I need something eyecatching, I want to be the next America Idol!
2. Just Wing it!
3. I hope you're not a Quack!
4. I'm applying for an AFLAC job!
5. Use lots of red, I need the sympathy votes!
6. Just put AFLAC!
6. I just joined the Mile High Club!
7. Put EAT MOR CHIKIN !
8. Quack, quack, quack!
9. How about, Come FLY with me!
10. Angel wings would be nice!
11. I just got my wings clipped!
12. Is your inks organic!
12. Will it hurt?!
13. You steriled that needle didn't you!
14. Ouch!
15. It's a AFLAC job requirement!
16. Quack, I thought this was a Beauty Parlor!
17. DUCK!
18. Eat my Feathers!
19. Feather my NEST!
17. No wait, I just wanted to sell you an AFLAC business policy!
18. Do you have AFLAC?
19. Bill me later!
20. If you hurt me feathers will fly!
21. If that needle give me bird flu, I'll sue you!
20. Put vegetarian!
Nancy Nelson

* "I need a dozen decorated eggs"
* "Do "Duck Soup". That's what happened to my sweetheart!"
* "Will it hurt? I'm chicken!"
* "On my butt put " I AM NOT DAFFY!"
* "Can you do one to scare hunters?"
* "You mean I'll be your first duck!"
* "Turn me into an eagle!"
* "Do that skull. I want to frighten some nasty geese!"
* "I don't know. I am allergic to pain!"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro

1.) I want some tats with really fowl language
2.) I think Donald suggested you but I'm never really sure what the #$%&* that guy is saying!
3.)This'll show uncle Donald that little Dewey is a all grown up!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

21. Put 99!
22. Nascar and Carl Edwards still love me!
23. This is just ducky!
Nancy Nelson

It's spelled" A-F-L-A-C" Use BIG letters.
Dave Derence, Greensboro

I want chicken wire tattooed around my biceps
Tim Tribbett

1.)I want"If you can read this you're migrating too closely"
2.) I want "I would rather be taking da plane ,da plane".
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

I can't seem to get that gecko off of my mind.
I want the Chinese symbols for "Not for consumption".
On second thought that Bulls-Eye Tat may not be a good idea.
Noelle Polson, Jacksonville, FL

"...and make it look like the water's just rolling off."
"How about "Confit before dishonor?"
"A nice 'V', with me in the lead"
"Dr.Ake"
Stephen Botts, Greensboro

Is it too late for me to duck out ?
Surely you can hit a sitting duck, can't you ?
Hope this will help me come out of my shell ?
Please don't lay an egg on me !
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

Can you put Lawsons big toe across my bill ?
Don Rankin, Greensboro

"OK! Now feather the edges."
John Koppel, Greensboro

You really get under my skin !
He really gets under my skin !
This place really gets under my skin !
Is it waterproof ?
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

"Do you think parents will stop reading my rhymes to their kids?"
"I've found the whole Mother Goose gig a bit limiting."
"I want it to look like the cobra strikes when my feathers get ruffled."
"I think you missed a plume."
"I love early bird specials."
"Sir, you got the name wrong. That's a pair of short shorts."
"Do I get free touch-ups when my feathers fall out?"
"I found I was being typecast and only asked to audition for G movies."
"I thought only middle-aged males went through this crisis."
Kris Voy, Trinity

The ink just keeps flowing off like some sorta liquid off an aquatic fowl's dorsal region
Tim Tribbett

"Anything but AFLAC."
Bob & Juanita Langlais, Kernersville

1. "This duck tattoo is a little bigger then I expected."
2. "Is my Hog safe parked outside?"
3. "Give me something despicable."
4. "You touch me with that, you better have Aflac."
5. "Try not to ruffle my feathers."
6. "You know what's really weird? I'm pretty sure you're my son."
7. "What's the matter, never seen a sitting duck get tattooed? Now who's lame?"
8. "Of all the gin joints in the world, I walk into a tattoo parlor."
Tom Norman, Greensboro

Something tasteful maybe. Like Bucky the Robot?
Marsha Minsky, LosCon 36 Nov. 27 - 29, 2009

"No, you have to use ink made from red cabbage."
"What do you mean my quills are soaking up the ink."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

1. just wing it
pamela olson, greensboro

"SULLY" Man, that dude can fly!
Cathy FitzGerald, Greensboro

Do you do bill piercings too?
Tim Tribbett

1) Just a heart with mom in it.
2) Make it say " I'd rather be going South ".
3) How about MR2DUCKS !
4) I want it to say " Daffy is God .
5) Just write " Fly to Live, Live to Fly ".
6) I want it to say " USDA Grade A ".
7) Hurry before the booze wears off !
8) Make it say No ugly ducklings or fat chicks. (sorry)
9) I want it to say " I break for eggs " .
10) Just write " Wise Quacker " .
11) I'd like it to say " The Duck stops here ".
12) How about " Down is Murder " .
13) Make it say " I'm a Quack Addict " .
14) Make it say " Bad Spellers do it Bitter "

15) After this I want to get a tramp stamp !
Darrell Clark, Winston-Salem

Isnt there another way to get a tattoo
Just to warn you, I have a phoba of needles
Cant you just stamp a tattoo on me?
Chris Seagraves

Is henna an option?
"quack quack" You want what?
how do you shave feathers
on second thought body piercing is more noticable
Its how much?!?!
why cant you tattoo fethers
Im making a statment with this foot tag
How do you spell that in duck
Paul Seagraves, Graham

"Two words: ‘F&@# Aflac!' "
"Draw a picture of the Aflac Duck lying in a pool of blood."
"Write: ‘Daffy is my baby's daddy.' "
"Draw a picture of the Aflac Duck sautéed on a bed of rice pilaf."
"Can you talk dirty to me while you do it?"
"I'd like a picture of Donald Duck ice skating over the corpse of Walt Disney."
"The last guy told me to turn my head and cough. Was that wrong?"
"Draw a picture of Calvin peeing on the Aflac Duck's lifeless body."
Bob Beitzel, Pleasant Garden

"I heard that you're very good!"
"Do you think that you could make me look like an endangered species?"
Dottie Satriano, Summerfield

"Draw me something that people will quake about!!"
Jim Satriano, Summerfield

I?m broke this week so put it on my bill Sid.
How about a ?damp stamp?
Your parlor is way off the normal migration route.
How about something that compliments my migration tag.
Just don't ruffle my feathers partner.
Gray Amick, Greensboro

"Something to ruffle the boy's feathers down at the bar."
"Make it to my best friend, Daffy."
"I changed my mind. On the rear please."
"And when you finish, I would like one of those ear ring in my nose."
"Will this lead to a NBA career?"
James E. Ferrell, McLeansville

"So I was thinkin' somethin' cool like a cat or a snake, which one do you think"
Ryan Natal, age 12

"Anything but Yogi Berra."
Ed Greenawald, Greensboro