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Send your entries to jokesonyou@news-record.com

Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

LAST WEEK'S CARTOON
Wow! I need to make you guys draw cartoons more often. After a dwindling number of entries over the last couple months, this week there was double the number of entries as usual. Even the Jr. category had a bunch. Unfortunately, this just means that many more good entries won't make the cut (I can find a dark cloud behind any silver lining.)
Also saw the return of some familiar names I haven't seen in awhile. I'd mention them, but I'm afraid I'd leave out someone.
Also a big shout-out to L. Monroe ALCS Frazier and Rakin Elementary Schools and Jennifer Caligan, 5th Grade Teacher Nathanael Greene Elementary for sending in their student's entries. Keep ‘em coming. Other teachers out there: join the fun.

WINNER
"What? Do they think everyone is a No. 2 or less?
What about us full figured pencils?"
Debra Schaben, Kernersville

JR. DIVISION WINNER
"Don't move, maybe it won't see us."
Talie Patalano, 5th Grade
Nathanael Greene Elementary

JR. DIVISION RUNNER-UP
"The harder we work, the shorter we get."
Brianna Neese
Our Jr. Division runner-up

RUNNERS-UP
"Now THAT was a great pedicure."
Frank Freeman, Greensboro

Look,look! It moved I'm telling you!
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro

Just keep walking, don't make eye contact.
Bryan Tribbett, Roanoke, Va.

"Take a peek inside while I figure out what the handle's for."
Tom Norman, Greensboro

"I'm sharp enough not to fall for THAT trick again!"
Bob Mannary, Greensboro

"I'm too scared to move. It's like I have lead feet."
Stephen Botts, Greensboro

"It's like waterboarding for pencils."
Bill Wallace, High Point

BEST OBSCURE CULTURAL REFERENCE
We're gonna need a bigger boat!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro (Only a cartoonist would write "back to normal" under two talking pencils!)

"These Are Not The Pencils You Are Looking For..."
Bob Mannary, Greensboro

START LIVING LIKE LARRY!"
(You can obviously tell I <3 sponbebob)
jordan frye 9
Me too.

BEST INSIDE JOKE
If he wouldn't write so many dang captions we wouldn't need to go thru this every 5 minutes!
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro

Boy, am I glad you're back so Tim can draw the cartoon this week.
Where were you last week?
Mike. Creech, Springboro, OH
But it was a nice break ...

"Don't worry. If you get hurt, I'll take you to see DOCTOR Tribett!!!"
Ty Webb, Bushwood Country Club
Ouch. Toon fight!

How many pencils does it take Tim to draw a new cartoon?!
16. That cartoonist is alway's sticking it to us!
17. If I had arms, I'd stick Tim's end in there and see how he liked it!
I wonder if Tim Rickard is a graphite artist!
(Just kidding, I did miss your comments on our efforts though. Some good ones I liked Tim's rotten banana one)
Nancy Nelson

"Now if we can just figure out how to draw the cartoons ourselves he's OUTTA-HERE!"
"So then he asks THEM to draw the cartoon...like his job is THAT tough to begin with?!?"
"If I have to draw one more Joke's On You cartoon I'm going right down his throat!"
Bob Mannary,Greensboro

"Let's have some fun. Get Dim Tim over here and tell him it's a pencil washer!"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro
Hmmm.. Dim Tim ... coincidence? I don't think so ...

I don't mind it, but only if I'm being used to draw "Brewster Rocket: Space Guy!"
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Woo-Hoo!

"Tim wouldn't have to sharpen us so often if he used the eraser every now and again."
Jon Barsanti Jr, Hillsborough

BEST WORST PUNS
Quite a few could go here, I just listed the one that got votes from our judges.
"I'm too scared to move. It's like I have lead feet."
Stephen Botts, Greensboro

BEST POEM
The two pencils were just walking by
When a sharp'ner they happened to spy.
One said, "Writing a letter,
What aid could be better?"
He got back a pointed reply.

"Yes, a sharpener's great, that is true
When in need of a lead that is new.
What would really be nice
Is a snazzy device
That would give an eraser shampoo."
Ken Sheldon, Elon

(My ditty)
Pencil heads are neat you see,
It is what we desire to be.
We can be used in so many creative and useful ways, writing lovely poetry,
computing what our taxes oft to be,
testing students expanding knowledge, and drawing funny cartoons too!
Who knows what next exciting thing they'll come up with for us to do.
We been around for years but like all things with the passage of time we lose our lead,
our erasers are rounded down too, we get shaved down until we are nubs.
We ask you kindly remember to praise our efforts for our completed tasks
and for where we've been before you toss us in the trash!
Nancy Nelson

MATURE
"I'm about to make a No. 2."
Stephen Botts, Greensboro

"Daddy, I don't wanna get circumcised!!"
Bob Beitzel, Pleasant Garden

"Bris machine?"
Scott Linham

"Apparently, size DOES matter."
"Ooooh, apparently, size DOES matter."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

If she stuck her tampax in there then where is Bob?
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

I can't help it if we taste bad, we are # 2 pencils after all.
Bryan Tribbett - Roanoke, Va.

"You got protection?"
"I pity the guy that has to use the tiny hole..."
"I promise I'll pull out in time..."
"Get me some laughing gas and a gerbil...I'm putting an end to this right now!"
(Also an obscure cultural reference)
Bob Mannary, Greensboro
See? These are why we miss you.

THE REST
Eww,I hate using gas station sharpeners!
This isn't what I meant when I asked you to play a few holes!
3.) Look,look! It moved I'm telling you!
4.) You mean without anesthesia?!
5.) Somehow I don't think driving a stake into it will kill it.
6.) Did it say it has candy inside?
7.) I love the smell of graphite in the morning!
8.) Well, time to unload some shavings if you get my drift.
9.) Dang,I forgot my magazine!
10.) Wonder why we were told to wait over here.
11.) If he wouldn't write so many dang captions we wouldn't need to go thru this every 5 minutes!
12.) I hate these haunted trail attractions!
13.)Will you still love a nub?
14.)Ever get the feeling you're being used?
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
Good stuff

"Uh Oh! You better look sharp or he's going to chew your butt."
Larry Van Horn, Greensboro
Cute

You don't want to see what's in the bottom of that thing. Totally disgusting!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
nice

"I now know why Fido hates to have his claws trimmed."
Ken Layton, Carthage

"It makes its point."
Ken Layton, Carthage

"Back in the day, it was one size fits all."
Ken Layton, Carthage

Now that's an eco-friendly sharpener -- wonder what kind of private jet the owner flies on.
We're forest products so that can't be Al Gore's pencil sharpener.
It's the first time I've been this close to Al Gore's pencil sharpener.
So which one of us will be a nub first?
That's the renowned Howard "Sharp Pencil" Coble's sharpener.
Ah, the smell of wood shavings in the morning!
We need to move out of DC -- not much call for "sharp pencils" here.
If we move to DC we'll live a long life as "sharp pencils."
Joan Lux, Greensboro
Liked that last one.

Ladies first !
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

So, man, who's going to go first, 'cause I really need an edge-up.
Nicholas Harden
Wow! That's what made me acute!
Jhakura Owens
ALCS Frazier and Rakin Elementary Schools

"Alright, you've made your point!"
John Koppel, Greensboro

"lets get to the point, Your pretty dull"
Paul Seagraves, Graham

So which one of us will be a stub first?
Joan Lux Greensboro

1) Well, I guess it's back to the grind.
2) I always feel sharper after these therapy sessions, but they're so painful!
3) Back to the ol' grind.
4) What do you mean, "what's the point?"
5) Boy, am I glad you're back so Tim can draw the cartoon this week.
6) Where were you last week?
7) You want me to stick my tip in where??
8) Sure, you get sharper for a while, but eventually it just eats you up.
9) I always feel sharper after coming here.
Mike. Creech, Springboro, OH
Some good ones here

"I'm about to make a No. 2."
hee hee
"I'm too scared to move. It's like I have lead feet."
Stephen Botts, Greensboro

"It'll keep you sharp,
but it takes alot out of you."
No name given

The word in the box is ...... we're going GREEN!!!!!
Carol Ann LaJeunesse, Greensboro

"Daddy, I don't wanna get circumcised!!"
"Son, it's a very ancient and holy practice. Now get over there and get your tip whacked off!"
"I won't think you're any less of a man, dear."
Bob Beitzel, Pleasant Garden

It's like making sausage - you don't want to know how it is done ...
Get to the point ... do I look fat?
Do they make pencils in all those sizes anymore?
You really do get shorter with age ...
I remember the days of manual SATs ... filling in oval after oval ...
Jon Barsanti Jr, Hillsborough
The first one got some votes

She's every pencil's dream, though she is rather cranky.
Ken Sheldon, Elon

"That's the monster that killed your grandpa!"
Bob Beitzel, Pleasant Garden

"Don't worry. If you get hurt, I'll take you to see DOCTOR Tribett!!!"
Ty Webb, Bushwood Country Club

"Somehow I don't think 'exfoliation' is the proper term for it...."
Jan S., Greensboro

"You want me to stick what in where?"
(Tim- a little side note. I just realized that you are the same Tim
Rickard that writes one of my favorite comics, Brewster Rockit. (Right?)
I had not idea. I really enjoy your stuff! Keep up the great work.
Mike Creech, Springboro
I told Mike that I'm guilty as charged. I'd just like to add here that he also shows exceptionally good taste.

1. Every day it's the same old grind.
2. What's wrong? You're not as sharp as you were yesterday.
3. Well, buster, I bet you'll get the lead out now!
Elizabeth L. Edmonds

1. Sharp!
2. Point well taken!
3. It gives such an invigorating massage!
4. Come here often!
5. What's the point?!
6. It's cutting edge technology.
7. You first, no you first!
8. Just stick your ... in that hole!
9. What a ride!
10. I hope they don't grind me down to a nub!
10. Twist and Shout!
11. What a grind!
12. Let's shake it up baby!
13. Come on and work it on out!
14. Holey Moley!
14. This thing is old school!
15. How many pencils does it take Tim to draw a new cartoon?!
16. That cartoonist is alway's sticking it to us!
17. If I had arms, I'd stick Tim's end in there and see how he liked it!
(Just kidding, I did miss your comments on our efforts though. Some good ones I liked Tim's rotten banana one)
18. How low can we go!
19. Not again!
20. Heads up!
21. Looking sharp!
22. I hope the IRS appreciates all our efforts!
23. The electric one gives you a real buzz!
24. Talk about torture!
25. You were just McSwained!
Nancy Nelson
"McSwained?"

1. I am not ready to be chewed up and spit out.
2. Which window should I try?
3 You expect me to believe this is a sauna?
4. I wish I was refillable.
5. Life isn't the only thing cutting me down.
6. You sneak a peak and I will check the handle thing.
7. He asked what your number was...
8. I love antiques dont you?
9. I hate how the boss grinds me down.
10. I dont think the coneheads are really that unusual.
11. He is currently only taking the #2 lead.
12. Manual ? you still have to control my life don't you?
13. Why can't I have a flat top mom?
Christine Keaton, Randleman

1. There's a difference between Bright and Sharp
2. The Point Is!
3. I get Your Point
4. It's a hard way to make a point
5. People that go in there arn't very sharp
6. You'll definitely come out smaller
Ronnie Seagraves, Greensboro

"START LIVING LIKE LARRY!"
(You can obviously tell I <3 sponbebob)
("I`m going to use some famous words from pencil history,)
THE BRITISH (People) ARE COMING! THE BRITISH PEOPLE ARE COMING!
"John, does that seat look comfy enough to you?"
"I `m so fat, which do you think will fit my butt?"
jordan frye 9

1.)Those essay questions are killing us!
2.) We'll just have to find a Big and Tall sharpener.
3.)Eww,there's graphite on the rim!
4.)I'll try not to scream so much this time.
5.)Girlfriend don't want no nubs.
6.)Is there a point in this?
7.) But I'm not even Jewish!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

Careful! That's how Stubby got his nickname.
Earl M. Inge
"Stubby?" You, Tom, Jessie and CC ought to get together (see below)

Does a hand-cranked pencil sharpener come with carbon credits?
Joan Lux Greensboro

"Have you seen Lenny?"
"Just get to the point!"
Dianna Cecil, Pleasant Garden

Ummmmm... the small hole or the big one?
Katie Wooten Age:8

"Hey, don't look at me, I'm the number two pencil."
Brendan Malone, Jamestown

"I have gained so much weight, and gotten so old, I may never be able to sharpen my pencil again"
'"Size does matter"
"Pencil today,sawdust tomorrow"
"I will never forget when I was promoted to a #2 Pencil"
"It seems like yesterday when we were in such demand"
"Remember when everyone needed a #2?'
"I never thought I would see the day when a sharp pencil would be a thing of the past"
"She never made it out of 1st Grade"
Rick O'Reilly, Greensboro

Well it's time to start the daily grind.
James Boggs, Burlington

Some rather pointed comments:
1. I know we're old-fashioned, but we have our good points.
2. Could you help my friend? He's not too sharp.
3. I don't get your point.
4. I don't like his "hole-ier than thou" attitude.
5. He's a prime example of "what goes around comes around".
6. My buddy says you just can't cut it any more.
7. We may not be too sharp, but we manage.
8. Don't believe him when he says this won't hurt a bit.
9. I've known him since he was a little shaver.
10. Is that your real handle?
11. So when can we get an ap-point-ment for a cut?
12. So you say your technology is "cutting edge"?
13. Watch what you say or this guy will cut you down in a heartbeat!
14. I wonder about this guy. He's always hanging around school children.
15. Are you trying to make a particular point?
16. We can't afford gym memberships. Can you help us trim down?
17. Our actions are not pointless!
18. You've cut me down for the last time. I'm leaving!
19. This guy's a real cut-up in class!
20. I get your point.
21. I can't help you. I'm a little short this week.
22. My middle name? Graphite.
23. Aren't you tired of hearing "get the lead out"?
24. Have you seen our friend? He went in your place a few minutes ago.
25. Want to just hang around?
Peggy Clapper

"Now remember, you can't have anything to eat or drink past midnight."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

"I was the dullest one in the pack until I met Wanda"
Bo Colbert, Trinity

1. To bad it's not a "Pork" trimmer.
2. Why don't they just ‘flick-a-bic' and save all those trees?
3. Is this the Stimulus/Omnibus trimmer we ordered to save
Janice Wangard, Ruffin

1. Our lead adds pork while our heads remove it and we become but stubs of our former selves.
2. I know it's a bit scary in there but Stimulus and Omnibus desperately need pencil whipping.
3. Our feet go in the grinder while our heads are being manipulated. We must be political pencils!
Sharon Underwood, Ruffin

I'm afraid this is goodbye dear. Our country will need all of us to remove 9000 line items of pork.
Our shavings go in a pile for redistribution. Does that make you feel better?
You take Omnibus, I'll take Stimulus, and we'll will whip 'em into shape.
Cheryl Schumacher, Eden
Nice observations

" So, do you wanna go first, or should I"
" Its time to meet our maker"
" Either one of us go and we lose our points"
Ryan Natal,age 12

"I don't think that's what Dad had in mind when he said "Get the lead out."
Steffany Gamsby, Colfax

"School is a major headache!"
"Ain't just the kids tired of testing!"
"You know what they say. You gotta look out for ol' #2!"
"You gotta look out for ol' #2!"
"We're martyrs for a higher cause."
"I hope it's not Johnny coming. He grinds you to a nub."
"Prepare to be ground to a nub."
"Wanna go first?"
"Great. It's the kid who smears me all over the Scantron."
"Why do the kids have to grab us right after restroom break?"
"I keep shrinking the older I get."
"Why wasn't I born a mechanical pencil?"
Kris Voy, Trinity
I kinda liked the last one

26. Let's fill him with lead!
27. I'm all shook up!
28. Shouldn't we be green!
29. Time to go to work!
30. You can't judge a book by it's cover!
31. Take us to your cartoonist!
32. Take us to your ruler!
33. Write on!
34. Eraser head!
35. Pencil head!
36. Now you can stop humming that ABC song!
37. If we've No. 2, what is he?!
38. Now, I have to be No. 2!
39. Did we just travel back in time!
40. Do you think I need a shave?!
41. I wonder if Tim Rickard is a graphite artist!
42. It just isn't fair, first we get abused, then used and lastly trashed!
43. We're dependable and we've been around for years, our job is safe!?
44. Take us to your LEADer! 45. How many holes does to take to make us sharp?
45. I think we left enough lead in there to poison him!
46. Ouch!
47. Boy do I have a buzz!
48. Why do I have to be No. 2?
49. He's looking sharp today!
50. Good disguise, but watch out for his insides!
51. Hurry, do a backflip and erase us!
Nancy Nelson

"I think I'll leave it to those less sharper than me to hone their curiosity".
Don Gunn, Madison

"Stubby's been gone too long, I think he's gotten too sharp for his own good'
Jessie Taylor, Wentworth
"Stubby?" You too?

1.) I am Hansel and this is my sister Gretel and we are sooo lost.
2.)We're gonna need a bigger boat!
3.) If he stuck the thermometer in there then where is BOB?!
4.)Here we have a 1964 model with low crankage.
5.) If she stuck her tampax in there then where is Bob?
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

1.) Outstanding job! We left you a really big tip!
2.)Do you have any shavings for a tip?
3.) Quick,help me clean this! Mom is coming to visit!
4.) I put in one of those things that turn the shavings blue!
5.) Are my paint lines even?
6.) Does it look ok from the back?
7.) Hand me a mirror so I can see the back!
8.)Whew Carl,would it kill you to use a little spray?!
9.)Talk verry slowly.It's not very smart and has a baaaad temper!
10.)If we stay really still it might not see us.
11.)Don't move! Its got motion sensors.
12.)Not so bad without someone to turn your little crank are ya?
13.)Well,I better get back to the ol' pen and chain.She just had a baby you know!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

1) Just keep walking, don't make eye contact.
2) Where's Bob? He was here a second ago.
3) Before the kids I could fit in the second hole.
4) This wieght loss program isn't all it's cracked up to be.
5) I am NOT looking in there!
6) Your breath smells like #2 pencil!
7) Fred & myself are a little upset with the way you've been treating us
8) This guy gives me the creeps.
9) Honey, I think we should introduce him to your mother.
10) I can't help it if we taste bad, we are # 2 pencils after all.
Bryan Tribbett - Roanoke, Va.

1.) I think we need to go back to Weight Watchers!
2.)Who are they kidding with those tiny holes?!
3.)Ooops,I think this is the fashion model sharpener.
Tim Tribbett
The fabulous Tribbet brothers, ladies and gentlemen! Give 'em a hand!

Digital or Analog?
Linda Wallmeyer, Jamestown

"Uh Oh! You better look sharp or he's going to chew your butt."
Larry Van Horn, Greensboro

1.)Just a light trim today please.
2.)I wish they would warm that thing up a little.
3.) Just a little off the sides and back please.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

#1.? If it wasn't for him we could have made the "All Pencil Basketball Team".
#2,? He has the best diet plan.? You realize that we're half the size we were three weeks ago.
George Subasavage, Greensboro
The second one got at least one vote.

Pencils and Pecil Sharpener Cartoon from Friday Feb.27
"It's time to sharpen up and head to D.C. for our next assignment." "Don't
be silly, you know we are not allowed to work in Congress, they require us
to write EARMARKS, and we don't even have any EARS!"
Paul O'Brien, Oak Ridge

The two pencils were just walking by
When a sharp'ner they happened to spy.
One said, "Writing a letter,
What aid could be better?"
He got back a pointed reply.
"Yes, a sharpener's great, that is true
When in need of a lead that is new.
What would really be nice
Is a snazzy device
That would give an eraser shampoo."
Ken Sheldon, Elon

Jump in-let the chips fall where they may.
Nancy Brown, Greensboro

Gotta stay sharp in this economy!
Trip Brown, Greensboro

Sure, it keeps you on top of your game, but at what cost?
Mike Kiser

1. "No. 1, are you in there?"
2. "I dare you to look inside."
3. "Careful partner, that's a sidewinder."
4. "Makes your wood crawl doesn't it?"
5. "How sick does someone have to be to build this thing?"
6. "It's suppose to make you sharp, but I'm sticking with book learning."
7. "Stubby was right, size doesn‘t matter."
8. "This is going to keep me up at night."
9. "Take a peek inside while I figure out what the handles for."
10. "All work and no shave makes No. 2 a dull boy."
11. "Is it just me, or does that thing keep getting bigger?"
Tom Norman, Greensboro
"Stubby" again? I missed the memo.

52. Good way to lose a few inches!
53. Do you have a point?
54. We could roll under his desk and hide!
55. I'm guessing Exam time!
56. Our writer is blocked!
56. From my point of view that is a torture chamber!!
57. Didn't you hate filling in those blank holes on that SAT!
Nancy Nelson

I hear it's the latest diet fad, promises you will lose inches in just seconds!
Barbara Zeller, Climax
good

1-Our shape won't fit the sharpener but qualifies us to be parentheses.
2-What's your feeling about mixing our dust with those other pencils?
3-None of those openings are big enough for us.
4-My gut feeling is that I'm uneasy about the term "number 2" pencil.
5-At 30 degrees we're sharper than Howard Coble's so-called "sharp pencil" at 45 degrees.
6-Don't we feel obsolete now that everybody is typing on computers.
Max Harless

"They say it's the fastest way to lose weight."
"I was two inches taller before they put me in there."
Brent Wooten, Thomasville

"There's a joke in here somewhere but what's the point?"
"You got protection?"
"Dude...I am going to totally shred this one..."
"Eh...what's the point..."
"Remember what your dad said about them having teeth down there..."
"Maybe my life would've turned out different if I could've been Number 2..."
"Must...Turn...Handle..."
"I pity the guy that has to use the tiny hole..."
"These Are Not The Pencils You Are Looking For..."
"Oh yeah...well your mother was a wood chipper!"
"Now-a-days it's all click, click, click, what's a guy supposed to do?"
"I'm sharp enough not to fall for THAT trick again!"
"I promise I'll pull out in time..."
"Oh No...this time I'M turning the handle..."
"Now if we can just figure out how to draw the cartoons ourselves he's OUTTA-HERE!"
"Tell the markers and the ruler we go at midnight..."
"Will You Marry Me?"
"OK...This time I'll go first..."
"Get me some laughing gas and a gerbil...I'm putting an end to this right now!"
"No Parmesan Cheese for me thanks...I'm on a diet."
"So then he asks THEM to draw the cartoon...like his job is THAT tough to begin with?!?"
"Woah...Dude...he says there's Mountain Dew down the hole..."
"It was so sad. They said he died from...lead poisoning!"
"If I have to draw one more Joke's On You cartoon I'm going right down his throat!"
Bob Mannary, Greensboro
Good stuff

Don't look!
Don Rankin, Greensboro

In this situation, two hands are better than one !
What you mean, get the lead out ?
The point is, what's waist size got to do with it !
We prefer an electric shave !
That's not a rotary cut !
Look's like Russian roulette to me !
Thank's, but we just don't do Russian roulette !
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

"I believe that never used is never sharpened!"
" Here's to hope that we get tossed in a drawer or lost in a couch!"
"This is why Dad said "Stay sharp".
"I remember that brat who sharpened Billie down to a nub!"
"My cousin is a golf pencil. He says they are forced to cheat"
"My cousin is a golf pencil. He says its one round and out for them!"
"Well, going that way is better than being erased to death"!
"Relax. No one operates manual equipment any more!"
"So sad. It's been laid off!"
"This office equipment horror museum is scary!"
"Those eyes keep starring at you!!. Let's leave!"
"Let's have some fun. Get Dim Tim over here and tell him it's a pencil washer!"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro
Nice. Numbers 2, and 10 got votes

1. i hear they made cut backs......
2. It gives new meaning to sit and rotate.
3. It's fad, our relationship is based on him cutting me down.
4. No more lead your fully loaded .
christine Keaton, Randleman

You make some very fine points !
Haven't you ever heard of talking points ?
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

Eni ... Mini ... Mighty ... Moe ... Which little hole should I go ?
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

Eni ... Mini ... Mighty ... Moe ... Which little hole should I go ?
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

I see daddy, but it still looks like a sausage grinder to me !
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

Eni ... Mini ... Mighty ... Moe ... Look Out, Cause Here I Gooooo !
Eni ... Mini ... Mighty ... Moe ... I can't play these games no more !
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

I don't mind it, but only if I'm being used to draw "Brewster Rocket: Space Guy!"
Ken Sheldon, Elon

1. i hate these old self service stations
2. Did he just say a #2 was done in there ?
Christine Keaton, Randleman

1.)We need to cut down on our in between sharpening snacks.
2) I've got a phantom itch.
3.) Is that thing sterilized?!
Tim Tribbett
Phantom itch. Sweet,

"I sure am getting tired of the same old grind..."
No name given

Point me to your Leader!
(My ditty)
Pencil heads are neat you see,
It is what we desire to be.
We can be used in so many creative and useful ways, writing lovely poetry,
computing what our taxes oft to be,
testing students expanding knowledge, and drawing funny cartoons too!
Who knows what next exciting thing they'll come up with for us to do.
We been around for years but like all things with the passage of time we lose our lead,
our erasers are rounded down too, we get shaved down until we are nubs.
We ask you kindly remember to praise our efforts for our completed tasks
and for where we've been before you toss us in the trash!
Nancy Nelson

I think a # 2 was just done in there.
Do you think Rickard knows we plugged the holes with this week's cartoon?
I hate self serve stations....
Remember no more than three good cranks or..........
Christine Keaton, Randleman
Self serve stations ... nice.

" Do a good turn daily," is his motto.
You're looking pretty sharp today !
He says you have a sharp tongue !
Who's next ?
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

"Wait, you might have a point there, we are getting shorter"
Kaylee, Greensboro

"The end is near"
Kaylee, Greensboro

"What's your point?"
Kaylee, Greensboro

"Get to the point"
Kaylee, Greensboro

"What kind of point are you trying to make?"
Kaylee, Greensboro

"This is great when you get that dull look"
Kaylee, Greensboro

"Trust me you'll be sharp in no time"
Kaylee, Greensboro

1. Hey George; What's the point of all of this.
2. Come on in it will sharpen your whit!
3. Not too sharp, It's not polite to point!
David Bice, Greensboro

"Yeah, well we still have a future in miniature golf"
"And then he said, 'You don't look so sharp.come on in.I can help.'"
"And then I asked, 'What's the point of this contraption?'"
"I was a Number 2 until I was downsized."
"You go into a long tunnel.but you don't see a great light."
"Find a guy with writer's block and you'll last longer."
"You just insert yourself in the top hole and yell, 'Ticonderoga!'"
"Wow! That was a close shave!"
"Given word processing, it's amazing we're even still here."
"Enough of the 'less is more' stuff! Okay?"
Don Byers, Greensboro
Some good stuff. One even got a few votes

"There's got to be another way!"
Scott Linham

"You want me to stick my WHAT in WHERE?"
Scott Linham

I have several fifth graders who would like to submit an entry. I hope it is okay if I list them all on one e-mail, if not please let me know and I will have them submitted individually! Thanks!
Submitted by Jennifer Caligan, 5th Grade Teacher Nathanael Greene Elementary
Great! Send 'em in!
"You get in first."
Logan Newell

"Don't move, maybe it won't see us."
Talie Patalano

"It hurt us, don't mess with it."
Ethan Wright

"I've been used."
Colton Pickard:

"Don't be such a stub. Go in first."
Sara Jane Bowers

"Erase that thing, it hurt me!"
Shelby Williams

"The harder we work, the shorter we get."
Brianna Neese

"Do you want to front me in line?"
Nelson Ingram

"Back to the Old Grinder."
Tyler Thomas

"The holes are too little, what if I get stuck?"
Schonn Denny

"The new exercise machine makes me sharp looking."
Blythe Hall

"It looked better in the catalogue."
Nathan Ross
I liked this one

"Are you going to work out today?"
"Nah, what's the point?"
Callen Butler

You think you got it tough, trying being a No. 3.
Back to the grind.
I use to be much taller.
That thing seems to shorten our lives.
Frank Beamon, Greensboro

"You're missing the point."
Joel Clark, Greensboro

"He's a little off base, but he makes a good point!"
"He's really been cutting me short lately"
Larry Hobbs, Greensboro

"I think that Tim is the only one who use's this Machiavellian thing..."
"I wish Tim would get to the point more often."
"Do you think I need a lead cut?"
"Looks like another grinding day at work."
"I can't wait for April 16th."
"I always aspired to be a #2 pencil."
"Tim wouldn't have to sharpen us so often if he used the eraser every now and again."
Jon Barsanti Jr, Hillsborough

"Bris machine?"
Scott Linham

"He kept shrinking. The next thing you know, he's gone missing."
Scott Linham

"Let's draw to see who goes first."
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"I can't believe that we used to fit in there."
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden
Nice!

"We'd better get dressed before we go for a spin."
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"Are you ready to go for a spin?"
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"Not to sound old fashioned, but ready to go for a spin?"
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"Is this a time capsule??"
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"Ooooh, apparently, size DOES matter."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"I assume that you're here about the Witness Relocation Program."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro
There's a good gag in here somewhere... but too obscure

"Do you think maybe they'd be able to just shave a little off the top?"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"...do you think that's where babies come from."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"This is where Stubby says he was born."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"This is where Stubby makes his weekly lead donation."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Hey! I think I saw one of these on Antiques Road Show."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"I'm trying to get ready for my photo shoot with Sharper Image."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"...I wonder who gets to pull out the winning number?"
(Ok, I'm not even sure what my joke's about, but it just struck me that in Pencil Land, maybe they have these giant tumblers like we do, usually they're clear and done on some local station in a far off land, like Chicago, and the crank is turned and someone reaches in a pulls out a winning number like #2-Lead, and they get to go to Rightsville Beach....Ok, I'm going to stop now....and did I mention that the lead character's name is Stubby?...*)
(*All rights reserved regarding previous Pencil Land idea in my new book called 'A Pencil Named Stubby" by CC Cockerham.)
CC Cockerham, Greensboro
"Stubby" Talk about synchronicity.

From Cliff (dad) and Andrew Holder (age 9)
"I'm saving up my shavings for an electric one."

From Joshua Holder (age 12)
"You go first!"

"Which one of you wants to pencil yourself in?"
"Sorry guys but I'm afraid of the lead risk."
Gray Amick, Greensboro

"I really have an inferiority complex about always being #2...they said maybe this place could sharpen my skills."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"U-hhhh, lady first."
"Sue, try my toe scratchier."
"I feel a little shorter today."
"Is that why I felt so good last night."
"O-hhhhhh. I love it the old fashion way."
James E. Ferrell, McLeansville