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Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

LAST WEEK'S CARTOON
I know, you get tired of the same people winning. What can I say? I refuse to penalize people for being good. And as far as playing favorites, we have several judges who don't know the entrants names. The captions are picked only on wether they are good or not.
There's been a miscommunication, I only need your age if you are entering the JR. Division - age 12 and under. You ladies can stop lying about your ages now.
It's fun to watch who will be the person "in the zone" each week. One person will seem to step up their game and enter even better than usual stuff. In past weeks, it's been guys like Bob, Ken, Tim, Bill, Jon, Joel, CC, etc. This week, it's Brandon whose every entry made the short list.

WINNER
Get the ladder. The kids are stuck up on the roof again!
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro

JR. DIVISION WINNER
"..... What overtime!! You better not have been seeing that Air Pump from the Gas Station!!"
Ryan Natal, age 12, Greensboro

RUNNERS-UP
"You go right back out there and apologize to Charlie Brown."
Tom Norman, Greensboro
Why did this one get picked over the other Charlie Brown references? It came across as more conversational, fit the expressions well, and was a wee bit more subtle. Just enough information to get the joke. (It's so subjective.)

"What do you mean, now it's YOUR turn to toss around the 'ol pigskin?"
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro

"Are you sure you want to stick with that story? Your last play is under review.
Mike Creech, Springboro, OH

"I don't care if you were handed to someone in the stands, late is late!"
David Dew, Jamestown

"I beg your pardon ! I'd like you to know I'm still official size!"
Joel Clark, Greensboro

"Why the long face?"
Hayleigh Carroll, Greensboro

BEST OBSCURE CULTURAL REFERENCE
If you're going to play with Chris Kelly and John Elway, you'd better hurry. Kelly's going to wake up soon.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Even I don't get this one.

BEST INSIDE JOKE
Our son's heartbroken… He didn't get accepted at UNCG.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Good one.

If Jake really liked you he wouldn't keep giving you to the other team!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

Tim Rickard want's you to just play ball and stop throwing those ridiculous captions at him! Nancy Nelson

BEST WORST PUNS
Tim can keep his 2 cents but I want my quarterback! (Hey,no groaning please!)
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

BEST POEM
Playing football whenever he'd like
Caused the missus to go out on strike.
She won't take any more!
When they met at the door,
She advised him to go take a hike.
Ken Sheldon, Elon

Football is a lame game,
I told you those tough guys would fall on you,
When things get rough, Passes go awry,
Field Goals don't go in, Who gets the blame,
You my dear friend, Please come in,
Get in your comforty chair,
I promise not to get in your hair,
I'll even get your beer and chips,
Watch your game in HDTV
and Then it's only fair that you wait on me!
Nancy Nelson

An old pigskin stood in dismay,
on super bowl Sunday,
when he heard his wife say,
there will be no TV for you today,
because my book club girls
are on their way.
Don Rankin, Greensboro

An old pigskin stood in dismay,
on super bowl Sunday,
when he heard his wife say,
there will be no TV for you today,
because my book club girls
are on their way.
Don Rankin, Greensboro

MATURE
I said I was sorry I called for a measurement last night!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

Wait a minute! Is that lipstick on your blow hole
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

I don't appreciate being called a FILF!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

I caught little Billy in his bedroom snapping himself.
Tribbett,Greensboro

Shotgun formation?! What kind of girl do you think I am
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

And so you won't feel all alone, Tim
"Marlene says you have excellent hang time." (sorry)
Joel Tuggle, Archdale
You should be ...

THE REST
1.)Please tell me you weren't out with the Detroit Lions again.
2.)You were with the Lions again.I can see it in your eyes.
3.)Late again! Don't expect to score any touchdowns tonight mister!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

Go have a talk with your son! He's got posters of Kobe Bryant and Lebron James in his room!
Ken Sheldon, Elon

"Remember to keep your laces straight, and don't play with those bullies at the Super Bowl."
Ken Layton, Carthage

"Chin up, Henry, you'll get a kick out of the game."
Ken Layton, Carthage

1. Who kicked you in the head?!
2. Where have you been, the Super Bowl was over hours ago?!
3. What's your lame excuse this time!
4. Your coach called and said you missed practice again!
5. If you want to be the next American Idol, you have to practice!
Nancy Nelson
This is open advice to everyone: Nancy, you often hit on good ideas that aren't fully developed. My suggestion is to go back over and find the entries you think have the most promise and rework them, rephrase them, play around with them with an eye on matching the cartoon expressions. SO much of a caption's success depends on just the right phrasing - you want it short, but conversational and subtle.

I don't like Junior hanging around the exchange students. They keep talking about David Beckham, whoever that is...
Ken Sheldon, Elon

6. What do you mean, don't kick you when you're down?!
7. You're grounded!
8. Practice, practice, practice!
9. I thought you wanted a football scholarship!
10. You keep hanging out with those tough guys and you'll never get into college!
Nancy Nelson

"Sweetie, I promise you won't miss any of the Superbowl. I'm recording it for you"
Andrea Small, High Point

"Why the long face?"
Hayleigh Carroll,

"You've got to stop going to soccer games. You always come home so depressed."
Kay Watterson, Browns Summit

"Look at you. Deflated again!"
Kay Watterson, Browns Summit

"What idiot told you that girls that wear glasses don't get to be passes?"
Rick McDonnell, Greensboro

When are you and Lucy going to quit playing tricks on that poor kid, Charlie Brown?
Ken Sheldon, Elon

11. Stand up for yourself, don't let them kick you around!
12. I got a kick seeing you on TV today!
Nancy Nelson

My caption is: This is Tuesday. Our date was for Monday.
Susan Craver, Thomasville

You may be cool but I am cheap!!!
Duane King, Reidsville

13. You forgot your tee again!
14. Tee, tee, tee!
Nancy Nelson

1.)You actually saw some lady's 11 kids beat the Detroit lions?!
2.)You shouldn't take the losses so personally.
3.) You're late for dinner and your air is ice cold!
4.)How was work today? Score any baskets?
5) I'm sorry but you are late and time has expired.
6.) I'm sorry I called for a measurement in bed last night
7.)You're late! That's a five yard penalty and loss of down!
8.) If you feel bloated feel free to pass a little gas.
9.)Did they spike my poor baby again?!
10.)I recognize that look of hopelessness and despair.You've been working at a Lion's game haven't you?
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro ( Don't tell him but I actually thought Bryan's caption was the funniest last week. Thanks for doing a football cartoon.What do you say to a Detroit Lion with a superbowl ring? STOP THIEF! I can't believe a looney tune caption won and it wasn't Bob Mannary's)
Ah, Bob. We'll keep a light on in the window for ya.

"Wilson...is that you? Umm..the punter is ready to warm up now.
Jason Breshears, Greensboro

" Your Father is in the Game."
"Lots of punts. Get the tub ready for your dad."
Jon Barsanti Jr, Hillsborough

Our son's heartbroken... He didn't get accepted at UNCG.
Ken Sheldon, Elon

15. It never fails, that place kicker,Lucy, never lets Charlie Brown kick the ball!
16. Where's the TV remote!
17. How many times did you hit those goal posts today!
18. That quarterback was tossing you around like you were a hot potato!
19. Sorry you got sacked so many times today, are you alright!
20. Don't track your mud in here,I just mopped the floor!
21. I saw you touch down!
22. I'm proud of you son, you really known how to score!
23. You're attaining more goals every day!
24. I see you got skinned again!
25. I'm glad you're thick-skinned,I jumped out of mine when all those guys fell on you!
Nancy Nelson

If you're going to play with Chris Kelly and John Elway, you'd better hurry. Kelly's going to wake up soon.
Ken Sheldon, Elon

1.) I said I was sorry I called for a measurement last night!
2.)Of course you feel gassy and bloated.We all do!
3.) If you're that hungry we can go out for a little surf and astro turf.
4.) Well son, we always knew your job oppotunities would be limited.
5.) I'm sorry but I only date liscensed NFL equipment.
6.) I'm leaving you for a NERF.
7.) I'll go out with you but no holding or illegal motion mister!
8.) I can never forgive the pigskin comment.
9.) I'm leavng you for a bucket of golf balls.
10.)Wait a minute! Is that lipstick on your blow hole?!
11.) It's superbowl sunday and you didn't bring me any flowers!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
#5 was also a strong entry

"I don't care if you were handed to someone in the stands, late is late!".
David Dew, Jamestown

1.)To help out the kids got jobs as superbowl party decorations.
2.) Did you and Jake patch things up?
3.) If Jake really liked you he wouldn't keep giving you to the other team!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

"Those super bowl retards. They should care for there elders, not kick `em where the sun don `t shine."
"So what was it like being tossed around like a football?"
jordan frye 9

"You've been playing the field again, haven't you?"
"I heard you made a hail mary pass...WHO'S MARY?!"
"What do you mean, now it's YOUR turn to toss around the 'ol pigskin?"
"No, you can't toss around the 'ol pigskin!"
"Now your Sunday's are free for church and visits to my mother's."
"Thanks for using the door and not crashimg through the window."
"Why don't you talk Lucy into letting Charlie Brown kick you?"
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro
All nice ones, Brandon

1.)We're over Kyle.Go kick yourself!
2.) After that last Panther's game I lost all respect for you!
3.) I'm sorry but I don't date high school footballs!
4.)I don't appreciate being called a FILF!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

"..... What overtime!! You better not have been seeing that Air Pump from the Gas Station!!"
Ryan Natal, age 12, Greensboro

Playing football whenever he'd like
Caused the missus to go out on strike.
She won't take any more!
When they met at the door,
She advised him to go take a hike.
Ken Sheldon, Elon

Why couldn't you be more like your brother Wilson?
Rachel and KC,Greensboro
This had potential and I kinda liked it but it slid past the other judges

1.) Must you return every freakin' time I kick you out?!
2.) You're leaving the Panthers too?!
3.)If Jake really loved you he would stop giving you away so darn much! 4.)It's your uncle Phil.There's been a puncture accident!
5.) Maybe you'll be in the next super bowl thingy dear.
6.) College football agreed to have a playoff and scrap the BCS! Just kidding!
7.) You're acting awfully defensive for some reason.
8.)Get the ladder.The kids are stuck up on the roof again!
9.)How could a bunch of cardinals beat panthers?
10.)You never want to huddle after we make love!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro(I really like this cartoon)
Thanks, but I got the idea from one of your suggestions.

" Oh, out playing with the boys again?''
"Don't give me that lame excuse, playing with the boys again."
"Boy, don't give me that look. I'm about to kick you out this house."
"I never thought I would have a son so full of hot air."
"Come on in so I can give you a good kicking."
"No, you can't go and play in the Super Bowl."
"Wait till Dad gets his hands on you."
"Son, you been called up by the NFL."
James E. Ferrell, McLeansville

1.) I caught little Billy using your air compressor to bulk up.
2.) I caught little Billy in his bedroom snapping himself.
3.) I don't feel like cooking.Let's go out for some air.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

26. That show Survivor called today, they want you as a contestant!
27. I'm glad to see I'm not a football widow!
28. Did you forget the pizza and beer again?!
29. The preacher asked if he'd be seeing you next Sunday!
Football is a lame game,
I told you those tough guys would fall on you,
When things get rough, Passes go awry,
Field Goals don't go in, Who gets the blame,
You my dear friend, Please come in,
Get in your comforty chair,
I promise not to get in your hair,
I'll even get your beer and chips,
Watch your game in HDTV
and Then it's only fair that you wait on me!
Nancy Nelson

1.) I hate it when you're forced to strip like that on national television!
2.)Go pick up a pint of air and a 6 pack of assorted gases for dinner.
3.)Wipe yourself on the mat.I hate a wet slick football!
4.) YOUR son just told me he wants to play basketball!
5.)Andy,Opie is stuck on the roof again!
6.) Tim Tribbett,DVM

1.) We may have to sell the kids to Play It Again Sports!
2.)Shotgun formation?! What kind of girl do you think I am?!
3.) Maybe the arena football league is hiring.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

"I say you're grounded but your father says it's under review."
"Oh my gosh I can see the needle marks."
"Hurry, your father is spiraling out of control."
"I'm sorry, they say your knee touched before you came inside."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale
Nice

"Are you sure you want to stick with that story? Your last play is under review.
"This had better be good...it's fourth and long and you're out of time outs."
"Good question son. Since I don't have ears or a nose, I use stick 'em to keep my glasses up.
Mike Creech, Springboro, OH

Do I smell pork rinds on your breath?
The kids have been bouncing off the walls all day.
I'm tired of hearing you've been kicked around at the office all day.
I'm on my way to the spa for a therapeutic mud bath.
You're still laced up pretty tight for this hour of the night.
Joan Lux Greensboro
Liked bouncing off the walls

Well, you had your moment of fame now take out the garbage.
Dick Ellis, Pleasant Garden
Good one

"Son, your deflated dad would have been so proud of you today!"
"Remember, being kicked around is part of the game!"
"I saw that smile when the cheerleader picked you up!"
"During the game winning field goal attempt, your eyes where on the cheerleaders, not the goal post!"
"Go take a shower. You smell like a pig!"
"Again, don't take being squeezed and grabbed at personnel"
"You didn't score at the game. What makes you think you will score tonight?
"Your bookie called. He very upset about the missed extra point!"
"That greasy pizza before the game caused all your fumbling!"
"Remember, 50 million people will be watching you!"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro
I liked the bookie one best

"Oh. You think you're better than me because you were caught by Santonio Holmes".Well I was thrown by Eli Manning in the Super Bowl XLII".
ali williamson age 11 Summerfield
Nice, but required a bit of football knowledge to get it.

Young man, are you making a pass at me?
Diane Johnson, Siler City

"Who cares where you work,,,AFC or NFC....you always get kicked around anyway."
Christian Pike, 12, Junior Division, Siler City
Your entry got some votes

An old pigskin stood in dismay,
on super bowl Sunday,
when he heard his wife say,
there will be no TV for you today,
because my book club girls
are on their way.
Don Rankin, Greensboro

"Don't forget to wipe your feet before.... oh never mind."
"How did you open that door young man?"
"No, you cannot drop out of school and turn pro."
Mike. Creech, Springboro, OH

"Yes, you have to wear a helmet."
"I don't care what the coach says.you have to wear a helmet."
Marsha Elam, Greensboro

"C'mon in Fred and pull up a tee."
""They said that guys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses."
"Marlene says you have excellent hang time." (sorry)
Joel Tuggle, Archdale
Pull up a tee is good

Have you been out getting your kicks?
Richard Smith, Greensboro

30. Tim Rickard want's you to just play ball and stop throwing those ridiculous captions at him
31. Just tell them to stop touchng you!
32. I told you to wear a helmet like the rest of your teammates!
33. Tell the coach,I said you needed to get home earlier!
34. I don't want to deflate you but you played a lousy game!
35. You're a little deflated, I'll get the pump!
37. Your buddies are rolling around the floor in there making fun of you!
38. People don't understand what INFLATION really means!
39. Don't think you can just bounce in ANY time you feel like it!
Nancy Nelson

Where have you been, you little punt?
Joan Lux Greensboro

Well son, what did she kick you out for this time?
Pam Hart, Siler City

I don't care who is playing, I'm pulling for the Panthers
Don Rankin, Greensboro
Ditto

Yeah - I got kicked around a lot at your age too. You'll pass thru this.
Bob Langlais, Kernersville

1. "Don't give me that ‘I'm about to get kicked in the face' look."
2. "You go right back out there and apologize to Charlie Brown."
3. "You can play with your friends but no roughhousing."
4. "Don't bother your father, he's been working in the trenches all day."
5. "What's with the long face? It's just the off-season. You'll be kicked, slammed, thrown, and jumped on again before you know it."
Tom Norman, Greensboro

1) " There's no reason to lie, I saw the instant replay. "
2) " Now you have to go to Hawaii ? "
3) " I beg your pardon ! I'd like you to know I'm still official size! "
4) " I just saying, it was the Super Bowl and a " Hi Mom " would have been nice ! "
5) " I don't care if it is the off season, you're not lying around then house. "
6) " Nobody "HAS" to break the plain . "
7) " Be on your best behavior and keep your spiral tight. "
8) " Don't let it get to you, nobody saw you get spiked. "
9) " Don't you get to go to Disneyland ? "
10) " I thought you were given to the MVP ? "
Joel Clark, Greensboro

31. Just tell them to stop touching you!
40. What's your game excuse this time?!
41. Will you be the Monday morning quarterback this week?!
42. Did you know, you're getting the boot?!
43. You scored!!
Nancy Nelson

Tim can keep his 2 cents but I want my quarterback! (Hey,no groaning please!)
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

1) "You, in the Super Bowl, now that's what I call Fantasy Football !"
2) " I was about to lose my mind until your dad told me what a dead ball penalty was ! "
3) " If you're not drunk then roll a straight line. "
4) " I'm so proud of you. My baby, the game ball ! "
5) " Who is this Hail Mary the announcer kept referring to. "
6) " If you get blitzed one more time you are out of the house ! "
7) " Why do you let them kick you around like that ? "
8) " You will never find work outside of America. "
9) " You and the long snapper are getting a little to friendly. "
10) " Your father has been intercepted ! "
Joel Clark, Greensboro

"You're late Spalding."
"Don't expect me to pump you up every time you feel deflated."
"I heard you were too far right for me."
"You really tee me off sometime."
"You better not make a pass at me."
Gray Amick, Greensboro

"Let me guess....The game went into overtime....Again!
Brent Wooten, Thomasville
A close contender

44. I didn't see any angels in your endzone!
45. What's the Game Plan now ?
Nancy Nelson

1. You give new meaning to the term, "Pigskin."
2. You know I'm a Cardinal fan, you could have gone wide right
Dick Ellis, Pleasant Garden
Good ones.

"May I borrow your grid iron?"
Gray Amick, Greensboro

"Did you get kicked out of the game?"
"i thought you were going to the Superbowl?"
Bill Lawson, Stoneville