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Send your entries to jokesonyou@news-record.com

Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

LAST WEEK'S CARTOON
A lot of worthy entries eliminated themselves by being too long. The saying on the sign should be brief and pithy. Also, it had to be something that his sign would say to generate sympathy/money. Our winner best fit that requirment.
One of you suggested a Holloween themed cartoon featuring vampires for Halloween week. And it occured to me; I'm always looking for cartoon possibilities, why not take requests? If you have any ideas, send them with your entries.

WINNER
Golden Parachute didn't open in time
Jon Barsanti Jr, Hillsborough

RUNNERS-UP
"Will mismanage for food."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

WILL WORK FOR BAILOUT
Bill Wallace, High point

Didn't diversify, please help
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro

SHOULD HAVE SOLD HIGH
TRIBB, Roanoke, Va.

Drove a 150 year old company into the ground, please help!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

WASN'T ME!
TRIBB, Roanoke, Va.

Will work for a latte.
Joan Lux Greensboro

"A $700 billion bail-out and all I got was this lousy sign."
Brent Wooten, Thomasville

Prosperity was just around the corner.
Tom Norman, Greensboro

BEST INSIDE JOKES
What would Brewster do?
Nancy Nelson

Million dollar mortgage with a cartoonist's salary PLEASE HELP
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
(You don't need help, you need a miracle.)

Trust me, I'm Tim Rickard's stockbroker.
Where's Bucky the Robot when you need him?
Marsha Minsky

Caption writer with mental block - please help
Jon Barsanti Jr

BEST OBSCURE CULTURAL REFEERENCE
Traded in Frozen OJ Futures. Please Help. (Trading Places)
Jack Ryan: I found Red October
Jon Barsanti Jr, Hillsborough

Avoid Plastics
Tom Norman, Greensboro
(I'm thinking "The Graduate" here. Am I right?)

THE REST
1.)Will work for golden parachute
2.)S class mercedes for sale CHEAP!
3.)Will work for stock options
4.)Solid gold bathroom fixtures for sale!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

1.)Will work for filet mignon with cognac cream sauce
2.)Will work for filet mignon and chateau lafite Rothschild
3.)Will financial consult for food
4.(not a)VIETNAM VET,PLEASE HELP
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

1. Please, bail me out!
2. I'm jobless elect Joe Blow President!
3. Homeless, Noone bailed me out!
4. Will work for gas, food, etc.
5. I'm stranded, I've been deserted by my goverment!
6. More taxes, I can't pay my rent now!
7. HELP!
8. Stop this could be your fate!
9. My small business went under!
Nancy Nelson

10. So much for a college degree!
11. Aliens Welcome!
12. Wall Street, I say Small Street!
13. Doomsday is here! 14. I'm taking care of MY business!
15. I'm no bum, just need a little assistance!
16. Who's smiling now?!
17. My wheels have been repossed!
18. I can't pay my mortgage, bail me out!
18. The Jokes on You!
19. What would Brewster do?
20. If you elect me president, I promise...!
Nancy Nelson

I've repented -- have YOU?
Redemption -- it's only a Congressional vote away!
Will work for GOLD!!!
Will work for a latte.

NEED WORK
STRENGTH: Creative Accounting
WEAKNESS: See "Strength"
Joan Lux Greensboro

21. Smile, I'm not on Candid Camera!
22. Will do job interviews!
23. Will debate the issues with you!
24. Wanted,The America Dream!
26. This is a Reality Show!
27. Wanted, a free ride!
28. Help, knew at this job!
Nancy Nelson

24. Wanted, The American Dream !
Nancy Nelson

Will trade stock for gas.
Glenda Layton, Carthage

Please help. I need 700 billion for carfare.
Ken Layton, Carthage

29. Don't give me any Bull it's a Bear Market!
30. Give me a break, I'm new at this job.
Nancy Nelson

Into The Valley Of Death Rode The S&P 500
Ray Kislowski, McLeansville

"It wasn't all my fault...Fannie Mae did too!"
Carolyn Mitchell, Greensboro

For Sale! My suit and pants
Joan Hunt, Greensboro

1) "The others jumped."
2) " Forget work! Just need some food."
3) "Nothing scarier than a blank piece of paper!"
4) "My company was bailed out!"
Bill Beerman, Greensboro

WASN"T ME!
TRIBB, Roanoke, Va.

WILL WORK FOR DIVIDENDS
TRIBB , Roanoke, Va.

It seemed like a good idea at the time
TRIBB, Roanoke, Va

SORRY! My Bad
TRIBB, Roanoke, VA.

Thanks For Your Support!
TRIBB, Roanoke, Va.

THINK LOOOOOONG TERM
TRIBB, Roanoke, Va.

LOST : ONE LIFETIME OF INVESTING
TRIBB, Roanoke, Va.

SHOULD HAVE SOLD HIGH
TRIBB, Roanoke, Va.

I JUST MESSED MYSELF
TRIBB, Roanoke, Va

THE BAILOUT IS NEAR
TRIBB, Raonoke, Va.

OOPS!
TRIBB, Roanoke, Va.

WILL WORK FOR OBAMA
TRIBB, Roanoke, Va. (all those other jokers from Fannie Mae do)

"Will work for and kind of nut!"
Debra Watson, Eden

1.)Will work for tax payer bail out
2)Didn't diversify,please help
3.)Wachovia CEO,please help
4) I was a mortgage broker now I'm just broke
5.)Will work for fixed rate only!
6.)AIG find out what it means to me.
7.)Will toady for food.8)Lost one of my homes,please help
8.)Will work for trophy wife
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

"Will work for gas"
"Will eat for money"
"Successful with house, 2 cars, and healthy family, please help"
Ian Knight, TerraceGreensboro

Need $ for Art School.
What, me worry?
Get out of Jail free.
Need ride to Grand Caymans.
Ask me about my grand larceny.
Honk if you need credit approval.
I bought this Armani suit with your grandpa's money.
This space for rent.*(Variable Interest)
Kilroy was foreclosed here.
Will work for Bearer Bonds.
Will word for Euros.
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

The ENRON Is Near...
Rupert Burton, Greensboro

WILL BUY GAS FOR FOOD.
CAROLYN DILLARD ,GREENSBORO

Stock Broker - Need Money for Food - Please Invest
Former Employee of the US Treasury Dept. Please Help
I may not look homeless - It's my first day - Please Help
Will Sell My House for food
Will trade Stocks for Food
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro

1.)Greedy lender overleveraged in subprime mortgages,please help.
2.)Predatory lender,please help.
3.)Wallstreet vet ,please help
4.)Will work for $1000 silk tyes .
5.)Undiversified Wachovia stock holder,please help
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

1) Golden parachute didn't open! Please help
2.)Disregarded sound investment principles,please help!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

31. Bear with me!
32. Rescue me!
33. Love will keep us together!
Nancy Nelson

The street signs should read:
WAIL STREET
BAIL STREET
Nelda Porter, Greensboro

1.)Will work for junk bonds
2.)Second homeless,please help.
3.)Vacation homeless,please help
4.) Now open for trading
5.)Going to jail,where I'll get a sore tail, please help with bail
6.)Will cook your books for food
7.)Jewel encrusted shower curtain for sale ,Cheap!
8.)I'll sell my tail for money for bail(no pennies please)
9.)Down to my last jar of caviar,please help
10.)Drove a 150 year old company into the ground,please help!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

VOTE.............NEED...............BANK
4 U...............BAILOUT/............SALE
2 L8................RIDE.................SAT.
4 ME.............HOME..............10 AM
John Lonergan, Whitsett

HELP!
I need a bailout
John Lonergan, Whitsett

1) Help, I need a loan. I used to work for Wachovia.
2) Help my family. Buy stocks.
3) I am in need. I have to pay my car loan, beach house, country club dues etc.
4) I left home without it. Need cash.

1.)Million dollar mortgage with a cartoonist's salary PLEASE HELP !
2.) Gave mortgages to hobos,please help!
3.)Can't afford everything I want,please help
4.)Now giving variable subprime mortgages on cardboard boxes
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

Will work for an espresso!
Randy Payne, Greensboro

IT"S TIME FOR CHANGE
dollar bills only ("IT"S TIME FOR CHANGE" would be in big block letters like an Obama campaign poster. "dollar bills only" should be written in by hand)
"Caution: Falling Stockbrokers."
Marsha Elam, Greensboro

* Sorry!!
* Vote!
* Honk if (heart) $$
* Mecedes Reproed Need $$
* Pat's Pizza 2 Slices/2$
* Will Work for Millions!
* Not Guilty!
* Who Will Bail Out Me?
* Who Will Bail Me Out?
* Hi Mom! Send Money!
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro

Kick
Me
5¢
Cathy FitzGerald, Greensboro

34. I was greedy and now I'm needy!
35. We're in a hell of a mess! (Sunday paper quote)
36. Who does depression hurt? Everyone!
Nancy Nelson

When Easy Street meets Wall Street
Will drive the economy into the ground for $60 Million (Richard Fuld)
Golden Parachute Didn't Open in Time
Able to turn sow's ear into silk ...
Will work for credit card debt
Have MBA and Banking Degrees - Will work for food
Have suit will travel
Richard Fuld's assistant: Will work for cash only
Victim of Bear Attack on Wall Street
Will work for a $400 Haircut.
Cell phone Bill Due, Credit Card Bill Due, Cable Bill due, Internet bill due. Please Help
Survived Black Friday - Didn't survive Red October
Jack Ryan: I found Red October
Need Cost of Living Adjustment
Will work for Coffee
Will work for full tank of gas
Over Invested in $147 a barrel oil
Need $100,000 bailout/rescue. God Bless.
$240 million in Lehman Brothers Stock - will work for cash only
Former Day-Trader
Traded in Frozen OJ Futures. Please Help. (Trading Places)
Jon Barsanti Jr, Hillsborough

1.) The bear ate my bull,please help.
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro

Broke,
Jobless,
Homeless,
Wifeless,
Suit for sale.
Don Rankin, Greensboro

1. Brother, can you spare 7 trillion dimes?
2. Prosperity was just around the corner.
3. Don't panic, retirement is overrated.
4. Gordon Gekko was wrong.
5. Beware of the Bear.
6. Avoid Plastics
7. I need money for booze.
8. Caution: Falling Golden Parachutes.
9. Good news! You won't end up in the Poorhouse - it's in foreclosure.
10. Good news! The Poorhouse is in foreclosure.
11. Ransom demand: Your money for your job.
12. Honk if you'd like to run me over.
Tom Norman, Greensboro

1.) Invested like A IGnoramus,please help
2.)We lose money the old fashioned way too!
3.)The end is near but I owe too much to go!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

"A $700 billion bail-out and all I got was this lousy sign."
"Will work for $700 billion."
Brent Wooten, Thomasville

"Fill Here - Fill Now."
Jon Barsanti Jr., Hillsborough

"All hat, no Horse ... please help"
"My bank got millions and I got a toaster."
Jon Barsanti Jr., Hillsborough

"Let them eat cake."
"Lost, One 401-k."
"Will mismanage for food."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

1.) The bear ate my bull,please help
Tim Tribbet, Greensboro

Homeless,
Wifeless,
Suit for sale.
Don Rankin, Greensboro

1. Brother, can you spare 7 trillion dimes?
2. Prosperity was just around the corner.
3. Don't panic, retirement is overrated.
4. Gordon Gekko was wrong.
5. Beware of the Bear.
6. Avoid Plastics
7. I need money for booze.
8. Caution: Falling Golden Parachutes.
9. Good news! You won't end up in the Poorhouse - it's in foreclosure.
10. Good news! The Poorhouse is in foreclosure.
11. Ransom demand: Your money for your job.
12. Honk if you'd like to run me over.
Tom Norman, Greensboro

1.) Invested like A IGnoramus,please help
2.) 2.)We lose money the old fashioned way too!
3.) 3.)The end is near but I owe too much to go!
4.) Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

"A $700 billion bail-out and all I got was this lousy sign."
"Will work for $700 billion."
Brent Wooten, Thomasville

"Fill Here - Fill Now."
Jon Barsanti Jr, Hillsborough

"All hat, no Horse ... please help"
"My bank got millions and I got a toaster."
Jon Barsanti Jr, Hillsborough

"Let them eat cake."
"Lost, One 401-k."
"Will mismanage for food."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

WILL MERGE FOR FOOD
Steve Carbone, Gso

1- Bail me out.
2- Yale grad out of work. Boola boola; need moolah.
3- I'm lacking-need backing.
4- Present alms.
5- In source me a job.
Cathy Harless, High Point

"Willing to sell teenage daughter for gas money."
"Vote: Calvin/Hobbes '08"
"Lost life savings betting on the Cubs."
"I raped by Fannie Mae."
Bob Beitzel, Pleasant Garden

"Willing to learn Spanish"
"Homeless Banker"
"Will do Windows"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Willing to sell teenage daughter for gas money."
"Vote: Calvin/Hobbes '08"
"I lost my life savings betting on the Cubs."
"I was raped by Fannie Mae."
Bob Beitzel, Pleasant Garden

" Will work for Golden Parachute "
" Where is Main Street ?"
" Wall Street or bust "
Lee F. Richmond, Jamestown

Caption writer with mental block - please help
Job outsourced to "Joke's on you fans.'
Have bucket - waiting for MY bailout."
Day-trader Anonymous Support Group needed
Need advance until January 20th - hopefully 2009.
Took relocation package to Iceland ... need a new country.
Jon Barsanti Jr

"Need place to stay. Summer home being repainted."
"Transportation needed to Off-Shore Accounts"
"Insider Trading Tips for Sale"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Willing to learn Spanish"
"Homeless Banker"
"Will do Windows"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Will cook books for food."
Pete Dey