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A little something different this week. A cartoon inspired by the recent financial turmoil. Your assignment: What does the sign say?

Send your entries to jokesonyou@news-record.com

Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

Thought I‘d share an e-mail I received this week:
I enjoy seeing your cartoons and reading the different captions each week. My sister who is blind likes to have them read to her and to have a description of the new cartoon each week. Keep up the good work!
Sincerely, Linda Chilton, Reidsville
Actually, it's you guys who deserve the kudos, as you do the hard work of writing the captions. I just get to take the credit.
Also, it seems like more and more, the judges around here are getting less unanimous about their choices. Sometimes I'm absolutely baffled at what others like — and don't like. But, that's why I use other judges; to be sure there is a broader sampling of taste. Also, to those of you who submitted entries very similar to those that won — you were either beaten to the punch or the judges may have liked the wording slightly better on another entry.

WINNER
"Hey, I was saving that for the game!"
Lisa Patteson, Summerfield

RUNNERS-UP
"Can I take you out to dinner in about 6 weeks?"
Tom Norman, Greensboro

"Is that your lunch or should I buy cigars?"
Glenda Layton, Carthage

Yes, that outfit does make you look fat.
Peggy Clapper, Greensboro

Plane trips are fun, aren't they!
Nancy Nelson

Old lady Evans has been calling her cat for hours. Know anything about that?
Bill Wallace, High Point

Come on Sue, cough it up. I want to go bowling.
Noelle Polson, Jacksonville, FL

That really went straight to your hips.
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro
(you had about a half-dozen entries make the short-list)

I see your eyes were bigger than your stomach.
Frances Warren, Eden

BEST OBSCURE CULTURAL REFERENCE
Oh no dear,not Verne Troyer!!!!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

Just one tiny little mint madam.(Monty Python)
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
It's wafer thin …

Finally got the fat broad huh (B.C.)
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
The lamer the better.

You are bloated from root beer carbonation sneaky snake.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

"That gerbil was running like Richard Gere was after him. Have you seen him, honey?"
Stephen Botts, Greensboro

BEST INSIDE JOKE
I hope you didn't eat Brewster Rockit
Dr Mel said you were such a whiner!
Nancy Nelson

"His name is Tim Rickard and he approved this cartoon."
Gray Amick

BEST/WORST PUN
"I'll be seeing you a-round."
Rob Black, High Point

THE REST
"Have you seen my bowling ball?"
Brent Wooten, Thomasville
Nice one. We kinda liked the wording of the runner-up one a little better though.

How are we gonna raise him? We don't have a pit to hiss in!
J. C. Winkler, Asheboro

"Watermelon or 100 snake-lets?"
Ken Layton, Carthage

"Is that your lunch or should I buy cigars?"
Glenda Layton, Carthage

1. I told you not to eat that watermelon seed!
2. And now your boyfriend's left town? What a bummer!
3. Yes, that outfit does make you look fat.
4. Been home for mom's cooking, eh?
5. It is something you ate?
6. Can I offer you some Ex-Lax?
Peggy Clapper, Greensboro

Will you never learn, I told you He said not to eat from that tree!
Linda Phelps, Greensboro

"I can't believe you ate the whole thing"
Hazel Jones, Brown Summit

ForGET that you're bloated! You need to listen to me................if you put lipstick on a snake, it's still a snake!!!
Ronnie Mills

And then what happened after he said "eat me"?
I don't think they really mean it when they say "eat me"
Ronnie Mills, Greensboro

I thought Dad got the big piece of Chicken
Alex Kellner, Greensboro

"Why no, honey, I wouldn't say that outfit makes your behind look fat at all."
"I ssswear, Gladysss, I'll hunt rats all weekend if you'll just let me bowl again tonight!"
Judy Glazier, High Point
Nice first one. A lot of other entries in that vein, though.

"Did you eat Barry Bonds' head?"
Craven Peay, Summerfield
Clever

"Oh, so you are the ball python."
Craven Peay, Summerfield

I was sure I left it . . . say, are you sure you didn't touch it? What is it about apples anyway?!?!
Deb Timms, RoadArchdale

1. I can't take you anywhere!
2. Who's the daddy!
3. I am NOT the father!
4. I told you bowling balls weren't edible!
5. Where have you been, the cabbage patch?
6. You swallowed a watermelon didn't you?
7. Talk about weight gain.
8. You need to shed a few pounds!
9. Beauty is only skin deep!
10. Woh!
11. I told you I was the sperminator!
12. Wow!
13. Have you been playing basketball again.
14. That is definitely not an apple.
Nancy Nelson

I'm hungry lets go get something to eat............where are the kids?
Mary Lane-Smith

I TOLD you that cake was for the PTA bake sale!
Mary Lane-Smith

"Don't tell me your not going bowling tonight!"
No name given

PHEW! You have puppy breath!
TRIBB Roanoke, Va.

That may be a little rough on you in a few days.
TRIBB , Roanoke, Va.

So, When you say you ate Mexican tonight, you actually meant .....?
TRIBB, Roanoke, Va

I hope that makes less noise going out than it did going in!
TRIBB, Roanoke, Va.

I've never been turned on as much as I am now.
TRIBB, Roanoke, Va.

I hope that is not a gas bubble!
TRIBB, Roanoke, Va

I usually have to wash them off after I sqeeze them before I swallow. You wouldn't believe the taste improvement!
TRIBB, Roanoke, Va.

It always seems so quite after all the screaming stops.
TRIBB, Roanoke, Va.

Pleeease, Tell me thats Obama!
TRIBB, Roanoke, Va.

Do monkeys give you a bad after taste?
TRIBB, Roanoke, Va.

When you give that final squeeze, Its always a good idea to have the hind end facing away from your mouth.
TRIBB, Roanoke, Va.
Good ones. Several made the short list

So, no bowling tonight, then.
I told you not to eat the apple.
Sharon Shepard, Jamestown

Honey, have you seen my bowling ball?
Bob Shepard, Jamestown

1.)Wow,you are one harsh disciplinarian
2.)Did you just eat a bunny honey?
3.)That really went straight to your hips.
4.)Lipstick on a pig ,now this!
5.)I like big butts and I can't deny.....
6.)So, what happened to your last husband?
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
I LOVED number 5. Made me laugh. Strangely, no one else flagged it.
?????????????????
oh well ...

"Honest dear, eating all those rats doesn't make you look fat!"
Doug Clayton, Mcleansville

" Hope it was Lowfat ! "
" You look ready to EXPLODE ! "
" Hiss yes, Burp no ! "
" Need a Squeeze ? "
" They're right, you got a Big Mouth ! "
" You need to Shake, Rattle, & Roll ! "
" You ate without me ! "
" Let me guess, No Coiling Tonight ! "
" No Playing Chase the Tail Today ! "
" You look like a Crawling Camel !
" Does it HURT ! "
" Bet it's crawling inside you ! "
" Glad you got a thick skin ! "
" Makes my skin crawl you ate without me ! "
" What size cup you wear ? "
" But it's not Hump Day ! "
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

" You need to learn to Crawl before you Roll ! "
" Looks like you are on a ROLL ! "
" Told you about Shallowing Whole ! "
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

1.)When I said look out for the hoe I wasn't referring to you !
2.)Oh no dear,not Verne Troyer!!!!
3.)Somebody's been to the Garden of Eatin I see
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

"What do you mean you are pregnant with octuplets by JIM BOA?"
Patsy Comer, Browns Summit

"What do you mean you ate a whole hippo?"
Patsy Comer, Browns Summit

"Have you seen my volleyball??"
Pat O'Donnell, Kernersville

1) Well, guess we better get hitched!
2) Maybe it's only gas...
3) Big turtles are hard to digest
4) Have you thought about Weight Watchers?
5) Classic case--your eyes are bigger than your tummy!
Bill Beerman, Greensboro

1.)Well,I guess that's one way to keep me from bowling with the guys.
2.)Hey,where did Bob and Shirley go?
3.)Sure,you're good for 6 months but what did you fix me for dinner?
4.)Would you like to see our dessert cart madam or did you eat that also?
5.)You're sooo sexy when you unhinge your jaw like that.
6.)Ever think of just savoring a meal for once?
7.)No wonder we never keep any friends!!!!
8.)Face facts Shirley,you're a bunny-a-holic.
9.)Just one tiny little mint madam.(monty python)
10.)Aren't you Fred,the cross dressing gerbil eater?
11.)Wow,that wasn't very ladylike at all!
12.)Yuck,you have really bad bunny breath 13.)You have a little bit of rat in your fangs.
14.)Those rats go straight to your asp.
15.)Wow,you just took out Riki tiki tavi
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
Loved number 5, too. What gives with the other judges?

I can't believe you ate the whole thing!
Linda Chilton, Reidsville

Here is a submission for the Friday, September 26, 2008 "The Joke's On You."
"Honey, does this skin make me look fat or should I molt before the party?"
Steffany Gamsby, Colfax

15. I told you not to eat the seeds.
16. Do you have PMS?
17. Crush it!
18. Hiss, hiss, hiss!
18. Who knew cuddling would do this!
19. It's just gas, it'll pass!
20. Did you say you feel something wiggling in there?
21. I don't want to burst your bubble!
22. I see you went to the pumpkin patch without me!
23. I can burst your balloon if you want!
24. How many times do I have to tell you, spit the seeds out!
25. That had better be an emu egg!
26. Eve, Adam just wasn't right for you!
27. Don't hiss at me!
28. I hope you didn't eat Brewster Rockit!
29.Rats!
30. I hope that's not Farmer Brown's new baby!
31. What a melon!(Watermelon)
32. Snakes alive!
33. Snakes can't jump!
34. You can't slither up the ladder in that condition!
35. Plane trips are fun, aren't they!
36. You bowl me over.
37. Gross!
38. Bite me!
39. It's a boa!
Nancy Nelson
I liked # 39 too.

"I was saving that."
"You know I was saving that."
"Hey, I was saving that for the game!"
Lisa Patteson, Summerfield

If you put lipstick on a pig, does it still taste like a pig?
Cathy FitzGerald, Greensboro
Not bad …

1.)Some of that pig's lipstick rubbed off .
2.)Oh no, not mini me !
3.)You can't end every arguement that way.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

1.)Well, I guess her ophidiophobia was pretty justified after all.
2.)Well,I guess her snakephobia was pretty justified after all.
3.)Keep away ,I have ophidiophobia!
4.)You're supposed to use apples for tempting not eating.
5.)Finally got the fat broad huh (B.C.)
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro (I KNOW THESE ARE LAME BUT I'M SENDING THEM ANYWAY)

"Monty Python is the name, sweetheart."
"And you say you don't know where my bowling ball is?"
"Dear, you've simply lost your figure."
"I didn't say. "Eat a basketball." I said, "Neat, a basketball."
"They said you are supposed to breath deeply when contractions start."
"Uh, is it bigger than a breadbox?"
"No daugher of mine is going out wearing lipstick. I don't care how long
you hold your breath."
"Of course I can't reach in and pull it out!"
"You need to get more excercise."
"Weight-Watchers worked for me!"
"I'll be seeing you a-round."
"There's reason we don't go out slithering together anymore."
"And then he said, "Push" and it was all over."
You gotta give the basketball one a solid look. I think it is a good one.
Rob Black, High Point

1.) I'm guessing that's will put an end to snake handling during the pentecostal children's sermon.
2.)I guess he wasn't that charming.
3.)You are bloated from root beer carbonation sneaky snake.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

"Going for that Loch Ness figure?"
"I liked it when you were finicky."
"Guess now's the perfect time to say..."
"Gee, thanks for asking!"
"Anyone ever teach you to chew?"
"Bigmouth."
"You look like a Brontosaurus with no legs."
no name given

Have you seen dinner?
I can't believe you ate the whole thing ...
That's going to sit like a rock in your stomach ...
Have you seen Pumba?
I thought that only Roseanne had a mouth that big
You should have eaten Roseanne BEFORE she sang the National Anthem ...
You ate the Pig with the Lipstick, didn't you.
Jon Barsanti Jr, Hillsborough

40. I'm not a snake in the grass.
41. Dr Mel said you were such a whiner!
42. Indigestion?! 43. Adder girl!
44. Quick ,shed your skin!
45. Gotta be a Wharf Rat!!
46. Now you want to cuddle!
Nancy Nelson

Looks like you'll deliver in time for "March Madness."
Trying to get in the City of G'boro ACC Hall of Fame on High Point Road, eh?
You might want to reconsider your "white wedding gown" decision.
Joan Lux Greensboro

You ate HOW MANY enchiladas?
I never thought of you as slack-jawed before.
Those all-you-can-eat buffets are killers, aren't they?
Are you thinking "implode" or "explode"?
I don't think you'll hear "if you've seen one snake . . ." again.
At least your lipstick still looks good.
Somebody's been in the pumpkin patch.
Somebody's been in the watermelon patch.
Joan Lux Greensboro

Maury Povich called and the DNA test is in. Adam will meet us there.
Cathy FitzGerald, Greensboro

"Not hungry? Why?
"Have you seen my brother?
"Tumor my tail! You ate our pet!!
"Is that a hamster in you stomach or are puffed up to see me?
"Eating marinated mice again at the den!!
"You can't slither now, stupid!
"Less time at the den and more in the gym!
"That's not how you use a prophylactic!!
"You won the Who Can Swallow the Bowling Ball contest??!!
"Don't lie. You ate at your girl snake's place again!!
"No wonder you weren't picked for Snakes on a Plane!
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro

1.)So,how was your plane flight?
2.)That Obama guy will put lipstick on anything.
3.)Oh no,not fraggle rock!
4.)I think you were a tad harsh on the kids!!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

"That's not what I meant when I said try Jenny Craig."
"Whoa, va va voom!"
"Is that lunch or are you just glad to see me?"
Joel Tuggle, Archdale
I liked the first one. Surprisingly, the other judges overlooked it.

Was that apple already nibbled when you found it?
Tell me you didn't get that apple from my "special" tree.
Stop with the "kumquat" story -- I KNOW you swallowed an apple.
Joan Lux, Greensboro

"I don't have to ask if you swallow!"
"I didn't mean you when I made the lipstick on a pig comment."
"After your meal digests, come on over to my hole for dessert."
"So is your appetite that insatiable for other things?"
"And you say that I'm full of it!"
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro

1. You swallowed my Michael Jordan autographed basketball?
2. Have you seen my Michael Jordan autographed basketball?
3. I assume you don't care to go to dinner tonight!
4. I think it's time you started an exercise program.
Dick Ellis, Pleasant Garden

" Where's my bowling ball ? "
" Let's Roll ! "
" I am keeping my eyes on the Ball ! "
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

"So, honey, the gynecologist started you on "the Pill" today?"
Paul Walter, High Point

"No, dear, of course snake skin doesn't make your ass look big."
Russ Eagle, Salisbury

1.)I guess that froggy won't go a courtin' any more.
2)When I said look out for that big hoe I didn't mean you!
2.)Somebody's ready for a new skin.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

"Well yeah, three's a crowd but I believe we could have worked something out."
"Why didn't you get that to go?"
"Why do you think that mouse had eaten pinto beans?"
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

1. "Hey! I was saving that rat for Animal Planet."
2. "I heard your last relationship didn't end so well."
3. "No, that rat doesn't make you look fat."
4. "Can I take you out to dinner in about 6 weeks?"
Tom Norman, Greensboro

Its just a gas bubble, I promise!
I haven't seen your bowling ball.
Do you want to go get something to eat?
What is your dad going to say?
How do I know it's mine? I heard you were out with Bo Constrictor last month too.
The ultrasound showed HOW MANY?????
Tony Hummel, Jamestown
I liked the last one

Well, there goes our Halloween pumpkin.
Who is the baby's daddy?
You look like you have been out with big Boa again.
Its going to be a lot of stretching going on soon.
Me? I want a DNA test.
Don Rankin, Greensboro

" Was that your first watermelon ?"
" When is the due date ?"
" Do not play basketball again !"
" You ate the whole thing ?"
" Don't look at ME like that. I was out of town !"
Lee Richmond, Jamestown

Come on Sue, cough it up. I want to go bowling.
Noelle Polson, Jacksonville, FL

Next time, just the helium, not the whole balloon.
Frank Beamon, Greensboro

"But my mom criticizes everyone's cooking, not just yours."
"Obviously, it takes one lick to get to the center of an owl."
"That gerbil was running like Richard Gere was after him. Have you seen him, honey?"
"There's a guy at the door on a horse. Got a note sayin' he's from some place called Sleepy Hollow. He's asking for you."
"That was a lawyer. I'll get the Pepto-Bismol."
"You can't be rabid. Oh, gravid? I'll get the 12 cribs out. Again."
Stephen Botts, Greensboro