news-record.com

When newspapers began charging for obituaries, they unintentionally but fundamentally changed the character of what, for many of the subjects, would be the last public acknowledgment of their lives.

Changed for the better, I've come to believe.

Previously, death notices were formulaic, just-the-facts, dull.

I wasn't working here when the N&R made the shift, but at the paper where I was employed we quickly discovered the old reliable obit was going to be very different.

When customers were paying to run them, they were entitled to write them the way they wanted, not how we wanted or had always done them.

This made us cringe when obits were submitted that struck us as contrived or overly sentimental or just plain silly. What had happened to the dignity of the death notice?

But I've altered my view over time. Now when I read obituaries, I look for and often find genuine expressions of tenderness for the deceased and a sense of who this person really was and what he or she truly meant to his or her family, friends and community.

An obituary today was one of those, so much so that it moved me to write this. It informs readers of the death of Jacob Alexander Berrier, age 2. Here's a portion of it:

"Jacob was born in Greensboro on September 23, 2007 to Justin and Kristen Berrier. After a two and a half year fight with Spinal Muscular Atrophy, our angel has been called home. Jacob was a true blessing in our lives and will be forever in our hearts. Although his time on earth was short, he was an inspiration to many people and brought joy to everyone he met. Through him, we found strength, meaning, purpose and love. Jacob's gift is the impact he made to our lives and so many others and he will be missed greatly, but celebrated everyday."

I am sorry I didn't know Jacob or his family personally, but I learned a lot about them from these few sentences. Justin and Kristen Berrier have experienced a terrible loss, but rather than express bitterness they chose to acknowledge all they gained by caring for their beloved son. To find meaning in such sad circumstances is truly an uplifting statement of faith and devotion.

I would like to extend my sympathy to Jacob's family and thank them for sharing these words, which in an earlier time might have been edited out of a just-the-facts obituary.