The Joke's On You
THIS WEEK'S CARTOON 102309
Send your entries to jokesonyou@news-record.com
Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.
LAST WEEK’S CARTOON
My apologies to Frank Freeman, Bill Wallace, The Griffins (et al), Carl Sinclair, Judy Crutchfield. I did not receive your entries before the deadline This almost never happens – hopefully it won’t happen again.
We didn’t get a lot of images, but the ones we did get were a hoot! Unfortunately, we only have room here for a couple. See some more on the blog (It may take a while for me to update the blog, so be patient.)
Jr.s are continuing to step it up. The Jr. runner-up (on the blog) was Carlee Shepard, 11 from The Academy at Lincoln.
WINNER
Ken Sheldon, Elon
RUNNERS-UP
I keep having that dream where I'm naked in public!
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro
I got nothing.
Billy Rocket
Tom Norman
Nancy Nelson
Halloween is a week away and I have no costume.
Darrell Clark
"Ok, I'll just retrace my steps. I had my keys when I opened the front door. Then I went to the kitchen...."
Andew Blank, Greensboro
"Did I turn the iron off?"
James E. Ferrell, McLeansville
Now where did I leave my keys?
Frank Beamon, Greensboro
(Also sending in the same art idea, but not as quickly: Skye Russell, High Point and Frank Freeman, Greensboro)
And they said this modeling gig wouldn't last.
Pam Hart, Siler City
JR. CATEGORY WINNER
I've been sitting here 105 years trying to figure out what I want to wear!
Ty'Onna S., Washington
JR. CATEGORY RUNNER-UP
"Where did I leave my pants?"
Carlee Shepard - Age 11 - The Academy at Lincoln, Jamestown
OTHER IMAGE ENTRIES
PSYCHIC ENTRIES FOR NEXT WEEK’S CARTOON (entries received before the cartoon even appeared)
Is this Richard Heene? We’ve seen your work and think you’d be perfect to coordinate the special effects for our current project – a remake of “Plan 9 From Outer Space.”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
BEST OBSCURE CULTURAL REFERENCE
Escargots for dinner? Oui? Non? Oui? Non? . . . .
Rodin was French, see …
Joan Lux, Greensboro
"Conjunction Junction what's your function..."
Cheryl Kidd, Greensboro
"Cogito ergo sum"
Arnie Jonon, Greensboro
Know your latin … or French philosophers
Where is my Rememberall?
Jon Barsanti Jr, Hillsborough (For Harry Potter Fans)
"Maybe I can get Meredith Vieira to stick a wet finger in my ear." ( watching too much tv)
James E. Ferrell, McLeansville
Wonder whatever happened to Dobie Gillis and his friend Maynard G. Krebs ?
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington
...wonder what Dobie Gillis is up to?
Gray Amick, Greensboro
Gray Amick, Greensboro
BEST “HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ART BUT IS FUNNY ANYWAY” CAPTION
"Why do they bother to make scented toilet paper?"
"If I catch the guy that put me in the ladies restroom I'm kickin' his butt!"
"If a tree falls in the woods and it lands on a mime does anybody care?"
"Why are they called apartments if they're all stuck together?"
"I wonder what the speed of dark would be?"
"What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?"
"I wonder what happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?"
"Why aren't there parachutes under plane seats instead of floats?"
Bob Mannary, Greensboro
"If I catch the guy that put me in the ladies restroom I'm kickin' his butt!"
"If a tree falls in the woods and it lands on a mime does anybody care?"
"Why are they called apartments if they're all stuck together?"
"I wonder what the speed of dark would be?"
"What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?"
"I wonder what happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?"
"Why aren't there parachutes under plane seats instead of floats?"
Bob Mannary, Greensboro
BEST INSIDE JOKE
Let’s see… a fire hydrant talking to a garbage can… nah, just did that… two golf balls... nah, I’ve done that one too… How about two mailboxes?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
And I do mean BEST
I'd write a caption if I could move
Jon Barsanti, Jr, Hillsborough
Jon Barsanti, Jr, Hillsborough
"Washer and dryer, hummmm."
"What does it take to win one of these cartoon's caption?"
James E. Ferrell, McLeansville
. . .lost my all my money, my house, my car, my clothes. Damned if I play cards with those guys at News-Record again.
Ken Layton, Carthage
"Where does Tim come up with these ideas?"
Cheryl Kidd, Greensboro
You’ve gotta be kidding. A limerick about a washer talking to a dryer?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
(Fun fact – The Thinker was originally called The Poet.)
"Why do I even try? They never pick my jokes!"
"It's hard to think of something funny when you're naked."
Sharon Shepard, Jamestown
BEST POEM
Thought the Thinker, “It’s driving me buggy.
I’m okay when the weather is muggy.
But Rodin wasn’t bright
Since I sit out all night.
What I really need now is a Snuggie.”
Ken Sheldon, Elon
"I think and think
and send my best,
but my entries keep landing
with 'all the rest.'"
Sharon Shepard, Jamestown
Ken, for the first time, I think you've been beat
When pigeons fly, their oily bombs
go splat upon my head.
I hear the sounds of feathered wings
and feel a sense of dread.
I wish that I could run and jump,
as then I would soon catch you.
But I can only sit and think,
because I'm just a statue.
Cheryl Kidd, Greensboro
The old Thinker set on a rock,
He didn't know how long
because he had no clock.
He thunk, and thunk, and thunk,
but all his thoughts just plain stunk.
My rear is cold,
and I am old.
I really need to go to sleep,
maybe I will try counting sheep,
and when I am rested and feeling well,
I will go to Best Buy and get a Dell.
Don Rankin, Greensboro
MATURE (actually, scatological)
I REALLY shouldn’t have eaten that whole bag of bran muffins!
I REALLY shouldn’t have eaten that whole bag of bran muffins!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Owww,fire in the hole!
Tribbett,Greensboro
"I sure wish those prunes would work!"
Kris Voy, Trinity
"Uhoh, I think my Miralax just kicked in."
Brian Greene, Greensboro
1.GROCERY LIST: Milk, Sugar, Preparation H...
Paula R. Hairston, Greensboro
Wish I had a magazine.
Mike Clark, Greensboro
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro
"I've tried bran, prune juice, and 4 laxatives. What else is there?"
Cheryl Kidd, Greensboro
Honey, would you bring me some more toilet paper?
Frank Beamon, Greensboro
I think I'm constipated
Fred Smith, McLeansvillle
I really wish my wife would quit leaving the toilet paper roll empty!
Jim Brewer, Greensboro
I wonder where they keep the toilet paper?
I think I need more fiber in my diet
Lois Rankin, Greensboro
Well the prunes evidently didn’t work
Keith Peddie, Greensboro
Damm, you would think they could put a seat on it.
Gerry McCabe, Greensboro
"I will never, ever, eat prunes and green apples again."
"Why does this always happen when I turn on the shower?"
"Note to self. Chisel out toilet slab into toilet bowl."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale
"Why does this always happen when I turn on the shower?"
"Note to self. Chisel out toilet slab into toilet bowl."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale
“I guess being called ‘The Thinker’ is better than ‘The Constipator.’ ”
“That’s the last time I pose for someone while sitting on the toilet!”
“Damn pigeons!!!”
Bob Beitzel, Pleasant Garden
Maybe a little prune juice would help
Tim Tribbett
Let’s see, I got the eggs, milk, bread and….oh no……toilet paper!
Dean Tribbett, Va Beach
"Why do they bother to make scented toilet paper?"
"Ooops...excuse me..."
"Phew...was that ME?"
Bob Mannary, Greensboro
"Ooops...excuse me..."
"Phew...was that ME?"
Bob Mannary, Greensboro
OTHER VOTE-GETTING CAPTIONS
The last thing I remember is saying just one shot then I'm going home.
Darrell Clark
“I hate laundry day.”
Tom Norman, Greensboro
Where did I leave that darn fig leaf?
Harvey B. Herman, Greensboro
Owwww, pins and needles, pins and needles!
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro
Where did I put those darn keys!?
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro
SCHOOL ENTRIES
"Where did I leave my pants?"
Carlee Shepard - Age 11 - The Academy at Lincoln Jamestown
From Louise Monroe -
Frazier Junior Division entries
J.D.: If you're making fun of me, at least you weren't in "Night at the Museum @."
April A.: I am so glad I took this job. I get paid for doing nothing.
A.J.: Should I stay nude, or get some nice pants and a jacket?
Zachary: Hey, anybody got some warm clothes for me?
Frazier fifth grade junior entries
Deja Headen: Mommy, bring my blankie. It is cold out here.
Hayley Samulski: Hey, baby, is it hot out here or is it just you?
Nahla Graham: I never get a chance to see the sky.
TeAsia Holliman: I wonder where my clothes have gone. Did these people take them?
Jayna Patel: Can I have those nuggets... or the fries? Either would be great!
Ny'Asia Dixon: I wonder what I would look like with clothes. I think it could be a good look.
Rankin School junior entries
Jessica W.:Why couldn't he have made me with some clothes? I am embarrassed.
Alexis Witt: Why are you embarrassed? I'm the naked one.
Thao Vi Thi Huynh: I am feeling a draft where it should not be.
Jordyn Drumwright: Why are so many people looking at me?
Washington School
Victor Carlos: Why can't I sit on something else much softer than this?
Hannaneh Mirmozaffari: I'm thinking. I'm thinking. Whoa...this is Junior Division!
Ty'Onna S.: I've been sitting here 105 years trying to figure out what I want to wear!
THE REST
1.)Owwww,pins and needles,pins and needles!
2.) I sure would like to try that new memory foam!
3.) Oh crap,it's late Tuesday night and I still don't have squat!
4.)Owww,fire in the hole!
5.)Where did I put those darn keys!?
6.) I do, I do like big butts! No more denial.
7.) I can't get that $%*& "It's a small world" song outta my head!
8.) I keep having that dream where I'm naked in public!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
I wonder were I can get some free clothes, its getting cold out here.
kisha mobley
I REALLY shouldn't have eaten that whole bag of bran muffins!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
"I sure wish those prunes would work!"
Kris Voy, Trinity
1) "I don't know why she was so upset, she did tell me to make myself at home!"
2) "To dress or not to dress....that is the question!"
3) " Brr, wonder where I left my clothes this time?"
4) "Mmm, wonder what I did last night?"
Jean D., High Point
Darn. Where did I put that remote?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
1. Think!
2. I should have asked her out sooner!
3. How can I get her back?!
4. Am I going to HELL?!
5. I want to be a real MAN!
Nancy Nelson
Where did I leave that darn fig leaf?
Harvey B. Herman, Greensboro
I liked this one – nice twist to the lost clothing gags
If I sit here long enough, I might remember what happened to my clothes
Mrs. Robert Connolley, Greensboro
And they said this modeling gig wouldn't last.
Pam Hart, Siler City
Escargots for dinner? Oui? Non? Oui? Non? . . . .
Joan Lux, Greensboro
"Uhoh, I think my Miralax just kicked in."
Brian Greene, Greensboro
Let's see... a fire hydrant talking to a garbage can... nah, just did that... two golf balls... nah, I've done that one too... How about two mailboxes?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
From Robert L. Tysinger, Lexington
"Now, where did I leave my clothes?"
From Linda Tysinger, Lexington
"Chicken first or egg first? Fish or cut bait? Too many tough questions!"
Unlike Letterman, I let my brain do my thinking.
J. C. Winkler, Asheboro
1.GROCERY LIST: Milk, Sugar, Preparation H...
2.Sure hope the toilet paper is soft.
3.Thinking hard..Literally
4.Come on let's vogue..
5.I can't believe I let Venus talk me into this. What was I thinking?
6.Okay, now what was I thinking about?
7.I'm freezing my butt off.
8.I hate birds.
Paula R. Hairston, Greensboro
I think, therefore I am
Aristotle or American Idol, hmmmmm...
Mexican or Italian for dinner tonight ....
Ah, someone dropped their Sudoku...
I'd write a caption if I could move
I wonder if I'll ever win the Nobel Peace Prize.
Jon Barsanti, Jr, Hillsborough
"Washer and dryer, hummmm."
"I can't believe that guy asked for change."
"Rodin, what was he thinking."
"Ladies, no peeping."
"I could really use a leaf right now."
"Maybe I can get Meredith Vieira to stick a wet finger in my ear." (
watching too much tv)
" I hate winter and love summer."
"Let see, what's on the agenda tonight."
"Oooo, only if I could stand up I would give the clothes off my back, and again......."
"Did I turn the iron off."
"What does it take to win one of these cartoon's caption?"
" Man, I would love a beer."
James E. Ferrell, McLeansville
Will global warming ever REALLY get here?
When will there be an outbreak of pigeon flu?
Joan Lux, Greensboro
. . .lost my all my money, my house, my car, my clothes. Damned if I play cards with those guys at News-Record again.
Ken Layton, Carthage
. . .is it i before e or e before i. . .?
Ken Layton, Carthage
. . .I think I can. . .I think I can. . .
Ken Layton, Carthage
"Why does Life have to be so complicated"?
Kimberly Ridgeway, Greensboro
. . .After my home loan, my cable bill, my phone, my electric bill, my car payment, my alimony, there's not enough left over for clothes this month. . .
Ken Layton, Carthage
"I've sat here for over a century and I STILL don't understand women."
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro
Wish I had a magazine.
Mike Clark, Greensboro
Great Taste or Less filling?
Joel Goldstein, PhD. Greensboro
Wish I had an Alka-Seltzer
Peter Guthmann
6. I can't remember!
7. I forgot!
8. Thinking gives me a headache!
9. I can't figure it out!
9. At least I'm not a pillar of salt!
10. I'm not smarter than a fifth grader!
11. I'm cold!
12. I think I'll streak across this campus!
13. It's my philosophy think with your brains and not your heart!
Nancy Nelson
Boy, that was some party last night! Now, if I could only remember what happened...
Ken Sheldon, Elon
"Ok, I'll just retrace my steps. I had my keys when I opened the front door. Then I went to the kitchen...."
Andew Blank, Greensboro.
1.. "how in the world am I going to get home without anyone seeing me naked?"
2.. "which one of the other homeless people stole my clothes while I was sleeping this time ?"
Michelle Grahamm, Greensboro
What to do next? I've run out of limericks.
Joan Lux, Greensboro
"where did I go wrong"
Sylvia Stacey-Parker
"I think it began with a J.... Jen, Jane, Joan. Hmm...I should have just asked her to write her name next to the number."
Andew Blank, Greensboro
1. "I've tried bran, prune juice, and 4 laxatives. What else is there?"
2. "To be or not to be....that is not a question!"
3. "Is the hokey pokey really what it's all about?"
4. "I sure am cold." (attach frozen man pic)
5. "Where does Tim come up with these ideas?"
6. "Conjunction Junction what's your function..."
7. "I'm not a philosopher, poet, or even a thinker...I'm a fricking bronze and marble statue!"
8. "YOU do the thinking and I'll just sit here."
9. "Some guys have all the luck..."
(See images)
I think........I'd better stop gambling.
Carolyn Stafford Ford
&*%$* Pigeons!!!!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
"If I could just remember where I put my clothes."
Dan Forney, Greensboro
John England, High Point
Where on earth did I put my clean underwear?
"...I lost my train of thought."
Aaron Mackey, High point
"Nine hundred ninety-nine million, nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-nine. "One billion." "Here I come, ready or not!"
Bud Norris, Greensboro
Nice.
Honey, would you bring me some more toilet paper?
Now where did I leave my keys?
I think I can, I think I can
Frank Beamon, Greensboro
Obvious title for this week's cartoon: "Cogito ergo sum"
Arnie Jonon, Greensboro
The Rodin estate has been disappointed in my "intellectual property"
earnings since the cancellation of the Dobie Gillis series in 1963.
However, my lawyer has a brilliant new plan to license my image for use on
the dust jacket of Sarah Palin's new book, Going Rogue. It should be perfect
with the overlay of just one symbol:
Tom McCullough, Greensboro
(see images)
1. Did she say leave the seat up or put it down?
2. Why do those people keep staring at me?
Ronnie Mills, GSO
My world for a cushion!
I am cold, this rock is hard, and my rear is cold.
Don Rankin, Greensboro
"I wish I could remember where I put my clothes"
Stella Day Greensboro
Ronald N Day, Greensboro
I think I'm constipated
Fred Smith, McLeansvillle
Less filling or tastes great?
2.)Do I feel like a nut or not?
3.) I wish I had a magazine.
4.) I wish someone would chisel me out a Lazyboy.
5.) Woohoo,it's a bit nipply out today.
6.) Twitter,google,digg? What the #%$&* are those people talking about?
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
"Which way to get back to the nudist camp?"
Dan Forney, Greensboro
Who would think 38,769,541 people would say "Get off your duff, man"?
Joan Lux, Greensboro
I really wish my wife would stop leaving the toilet paper roll empty!!
Jim Brewer, Greensboro
It would have never worked between me and Venus ... she doesn't have any arms
"If I only had a brain ..." I can't get that song out of my head.
Where is my Rememberall? (For Harry Potter Fans)
Jon Barsanti Jr, Hillsborough
The old Thinker set on a rock,
He didn't know how long
because he had no clock.
He thunk, and thunk, and thunk,
but all his thoughts just plain stunk.
My rear is cold,
and I am old.
I really need to go to sleep,
maybe I will try counting sheep,
and when I am rested and feeling well,
I will go to Best Buy and get a Dell.
Don Rankin, Greensboro
"This would be more comfortable in July!"
John Koppel, Greensboro
"Why does everyone think I'm a nudist? It's just a nice day!"
John Koppel, Greensboro
"That's what you think!"
John Koppel, Greensboro
"It's not a helmet! It's my hair!"
John Koppel, Greensboro
"What's for lunch!"
John Koppel, Greensboro
What should I wear today ?
She loves me, she loves me not ?
I think, therefore I am !
Where did I leave my clothes ?
Why can't my clothes time travel too ?
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington
I wonder where they keep the toilet paper?
Lois Rankin, Greensboro
I think I need more fiber in my diet
Lois Rankin, Greensboro
"Where did I put those keys?!"
"Why am I always naked?"
"Why were pigeons created?"
"My back is killing me!!!
"My finger nails never grow!"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro
Well the prunes evidently didn't work
What did I eat!
This stone is so uncomfortable
I'm supposed to be a thinker so why is my right elbow on my left knee!
If I only had a clothes closet .
Keith Peddie, Greensboro
I got nothing.
Gosh this stone is cold.
Don't bother me - I'm thinking
I should have never got Superglue on my hand
Billy Rocket
1. Now just where did I leave my chariot?
2. Think first, act second.
3. Now just where did I leave my Toga?
4. Damm, you would think they could put a seat on it.
Gerry McCabe, Greensboro
"If I only had a shotgun."
Cheryl Kidd, Greensboro
(See images)
Brains... Brains...
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Why do birds enjoy perching on me ?
Now where did I put my clothes while shinny dipping ?
Does a pigeon in my hair make me a birdbrain ?
Whatever made me think I was smarter than a fifth grader ?
How can I get rid of these pesky pigeons ?
This question is really a stumper !
Why do pigeons do that to me ?
Why are my thoughts always getting pigeonholed ?
This has me stumped !
What is it about me that attracts those pigeons ?
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington
Could it be I'm becoming pigeon-toed ?
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington
You've gotta be kidding. A limerick about a washer talking to a dryer?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Wish they'd put a sundial nearby so I'd know the time of day !
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington
Wonder whatever happened to Dobie Gillis and his friend Maynard G. Krebs ?
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington
I sure do miss good ol' mom and dad.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
(See images)
Subprime mortgages! What the heck was I thinking?!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
1. “I hate laundry day.”
2. “I think, therefore I'm not a politician.”
3. “....I got nothing."
4. “I can't think straight - all those captions are upside down."
Tom Norman, Greensboro
"I will never, ever, eat prunes and green apples again."
"Why does this always happen when I turn on the shower?"
"Note to self. Chisel out toilet slab into toilet bowl."
"I think I just sat on a stalagmite."
"They got my clothes and my wallet but I still have my dignity."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale
That's the LAST time I go trick-or-treating as Michelangelo's David!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
(See images)
"Is he ever going to get done with this painting?"
Wyman Taylor, Greensboro
"I can't believe my leg has fallen asleep again!"
Wyman Taylor, Greensboro
14. I can't THINK!
15. If I only had a brain!
16. I think therefore I am!
17. Why can't I remember?!
18. I got nothing!
19. Picture this!
20. All I have to do is sit here and look pensive!
21. It's a no brainer!
22. I feel so empty inside!
Nancy Nelson
Queen to Pawn 7, no maybe it's Bishop to rook 4. No that's not it. I know, BINGO!
Marcia Minsky
Member #8 and Communications Officer
for The Official Brewster Rockit Fan Club
I wonder why Cher has never been to see me.
I need a chair with a back -- heavy metal -- with "Endurance" on it.
Joan Lux, Greensboro
...must not forget our wedding anniversary's tomorrow...
Ken Sheldon, Elon
"I can't go to Wal-Mart like this."
"Whither Twitter?"
Mike Hicks, Thomasville
"How does Will Ferrell keep getting work?"
"Did I leave the stove on?"
"I guess being called 'The Thinker' is better than 'The Constipator.' "
"That's the last time I pose for someone while sitting on the toilet!"
"Damn pigeons!!!"
Bob Beitzel, Pleasant Garden
"Why do I even try? They never pick my jokes!"
"It's hard to think of something funny when you're naked."
"Perhaps I shouldn't have majored in philosophy."
Sharon Shepard, Jamestown
1.) Maybe a little prune juice would help.
2.) I think I can,I think I can......
3.) I've finally got it! No,I'd better think on it another 50 years.
4.) I just realized.....I'M FREAKIN' NAKED!!!!!!
5.) When I sit this way it makes my bicep look really big!
6.) If I EVER find out who put this #$%& super glue on my knuckles!!
7.) I think I feel a draft. 8.) Action is overrated.
9.) Eureka! I finally have it! We can drape fabric on our bodies to stay warm!
Tim Tribbett
If I ever find those rotten practical jokers I'll......
Tim Tribbett
(See images)
Hmmm...was Kanye West right about Beyonce's video?
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Let's see, I got the eggs, milk, bread and....oh no......toilet paper!
Dean Tribbett, Va Beach
Oh,I like big butts and I can't deny....
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro
(See images)
Ok,if the farmer leaves the fox with the corn and takes the chicken across first.......
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro
"Why do they bother to make scented toilet paper?"
"If I catch the guy that put me in the ladies restroom I'm kickin' his butt!"
"If a tree falls in the woods and it lands on a mime does anybody care?"
"Ooops...excuse me..."
"Why are they called apartments if they're all stuck together?"
"Phew...was that ME?"
"I wonder what the speed of dark would be?"
"What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?"
"I wonder what happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?"
"Why aren't there parachutes under plane seats instead of floats?"
Bob Mannary, Greensboro
1.) zzzzzzzzzzzzz
2.) Do I want fries with that?
3.) He rhymes "couldn't take one more step" with "bad news on the doorstep"?
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
" I wonder what they'd do without facebook, myspace and twitter?"
[Venus De Milo Picture]
"Maybe then someone could make me a decent wife"
N. Jeffreys, City: Burlington
Sorry, but I could not open your attached art. It was the only art I couldn’t open.
1) I think my feet are asleep.
2) This wouldn't be so bad if I had a newspaper.
3) I hate to admit it but I thought the kid was in that balloon.
4) Of all the names they could have called their group they pick Teabaggers.
5) Some people call me the space cowboy.....
6) If Rodin was a little steadier with the chisel I wouldn't have to sit like this !!!
7) This is the worst part of being the Hulk !!
8) Why do I keep getting arrested ?
9) Did I leave the stove on.
10) Man I really could go for some Big League Chew right about now.
11) I've got to get more comfortable furniture.
12) Why couldn't Rodin have chiseled me a Lazy boy ?
13) Should I add art to this are not ?
14) I hope I'm having one of those naked in front of the class dreams !!
15) The Thinker my foot, more like The Unemployed !
16) There's just some places a guy shouldn't be chiseled !
17) That cheese didn't taste right.
18) My hand smells funny !!!
19) The last thing I remember is saying just one shot then I'm going home.
20) Halloween is a week away and I have no costume.
Darrell Clark
I've been solving life's riddle for years, but do I get the Nobel price, NNOOOOOOO !!!!
Jim Brewer
...would a Speedo be too much to ask for?
...criminy, denied Mt. Rushmore because of my R rating
...thank goodness I wasn't on a Warnersville bench
Gray Amick, Greensboro
...wonder what Dobie Gillis is up to?
Gray Amick, Greensboro
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