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THIS WEEK'S CARTOON 060509

Send your entries to jokesonyou@news-record.com

Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

A first! Our Jr. category winner is also our over-all winner!
It’s always a gamble to do something like this. I never know if you are going to understand my intentions. A few of you didn’t, and sent in regular captions. But most of you got it. There were a lot of good captions. Our judges were all over the board.
The Jr. division is ages 12 and under. Please include your school also.

LAST WEEK'S CARTOON

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WINNER
Puffed Mice
Jordan Frye, age 10

RUNNERS-UP
Unlucky Charms, Now with more leprechaun
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro

Human content based on weight not volume.
Eric Grimm, Greensboro

Geese's Pieces
Cathy FitzGerald, Greensboro

Mini Shrunken Heads "A smile in every bite"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro

“Bayou Bites…. A lost scout troop in every box.”
Brent Wooten, Thomasville

"Fruit and Fibrous Material"
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

“Quaker Bites – All of the taste – None of the Fight”
Mike Creech, Springboro, OH

Honey Bunches of Goats
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro

TRAIL MIX--- SLOW HIKERS (all parts) + FAST HIKERS (toes only)
Kevin Little

PSYCHIC ENTRIES (entries received before the cartoon even appeared)
Psychic Entry for March 12, 2062:
"Roll over Beethoven"
Gray Amick
I’m sorry, but in 2062, the definitive caption will be: “But I thought YOU brought the Moose!”

BEST OBSCURE CULTURAL REFERENCE
The cereal box should say:
"Zeeba bites"
(in handwriten lower-case letters)

ZEEBA KRUNCHYS *NOW WIFF MOR FRES ZEEBA MEAT
Eric Grimm, Greensboro
Someone’s been reading “Pearls Before Swine.”

BEST/WORST PUN
"I've never been in de-Nile, but I did once eat a Tigris."
Stephen Botts, Greensboro

"Wild pig for dinner every night is becoming such a boar."
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro

BEST INSIDE JOKE
"Mr. Rickard, I like to tear and swallow. So, the jokes on chew."
Stephen Botts, Greensboro

MATURE
Kellogg's Ape nuts
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

BEST POEM
Eating breakfast, I heard the croc utter,
"These ingredients make my heart flutter!
Right there! After the bran,
It contains Peter Pan!
I'm mistaken. It's just peanut butter."
Ken Sheldon, Elon
Another masterpiece

OTHER CAPTION VOTE GETTERS
Tastes like you ambushed it yourself
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

Water Hole Losers - Chucks. Bits & Parts Variety Pak
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro

Kellogg's Frosted Mini Meats
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

Mice krispies,snap,crackle,squeal
Tim Tribbett

Chihuahua-O’s…Part of a Complete Breakfast!
Mac Lane, High Point

THE REST
"Zeeba bites"
(in handwriten lower-case letters)
Eli Oklesh, Gibsonville

"Each flake contains 300 per cent of all the sugar an alligator will need in a lifetime. . ."
Ken Layton, Carthage

“Mix 1/2 box of dried pygmy leg chips with 2 cups wild gnu milk. Add a pinch of ground rhino horn, Stir well.."
Ken Layton, Carthage

Hope they never stop running those "Lost" ads for Steve Irwin.
Ken Sheldon, Elon

Chihuahua-O's.Part of a Complete Breakfast!
Mac Lane, High Point

NEW! From Swamp Alley
GO GREEN FOOD CHAIN
It was STILL MOVING when we
packaged it!!!
Bone 50% RDA
Muscle 25% RDA
Innards 65% RDA
Flesh 45% RDA
Hair 2% RDA
AND BEST OF ALL IT STINKS!
I loved the line “still moving when we packaged it”
I think that by itself would have been a much stronger entry

STAY IN THE SWIM OF THINGS!!!
New GERIATRIC Formula contains
ground-up bones, flesh, and prunes
Joan Lux, Greensboro

Human Flakes!
Nancy Nelson
Good. simple

It is "Gnu and Improved!" The gnu tastes much fresher than before!
Ken Sheldon, Elon
There’s a good idea here. Maybe just the first part?

Meat Flakes Fortified with Real Human Parts!
Nancy Nelson

Cereal for the Adventurous Alligator
Disclaimer: Eat at your own peril
(How many alligators are allergic to peanuts anyway?)
Cereal for the Health-Conscious Alligator
Coupon inside for a free toothbrush
Vegan Alligator Cereal
Never mind what's in this box
Use soy milk on it and you're halfway there!
Joan Lux, Greensboro

1.) Honey Bunches of Goats
2.) Ingredients:corn,artificial zebra flavoring,corn syrup
3.)Unlucky Charms,Now with more leprechaun in every bite.
4.) Quaker instant goatmeal
4.) MonkeyOs,now with more monkey
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
Also liked goatmeal and MonkeyOs

1.) Kellogg's Frosted Mini Meats
2.) Fiber None shredded meat
3.) Kellogg's Ape nuts
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

Hmm... For only 19.99 and five boxtops, I can a pair of human shoes.
Ken Sheldon, Elon

"Frosted Flesh, its more than just skin, its dermatastic!
Anderson Ragan

1.) Meaties,the breakfast of Chompians
2.) Kellogg's raisin man
3.)Kittens and KaboodleOs
4.)DarwinOs,what it takes to survive!
4.)Ingredients:wheat,marlin perkins artifcial flavoring,high fructose corn syrup
5.)Honeycomb Kids
6.) PeopleOs,now with more australian
7.)Amos Moses arm bits
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

"The Breakfast of Champions". Go Gators!!
Julia Clouse, Oak Ridge,

"Wild pig for dinner every night is becoming such a boar."
"What am I eating - Nut and Bunny!"
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro

1.)Honey Bunches of Goats
2.) Hey,Hey It's the Monkeys
3.) Chef Boyryoudead
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

The taste of revenge! YANKEE DOODLE DUNDEES
CHILI CON CARNIVORE (with vermincelli)
NILLA WADERS
Bayou-Bayou Birdies
Rocky Rodent (with peppermint squirrels)
Kevin Little

"Breakfast of Champions, my eye. I don't taste a single one."
Barbara Cashman, Greensboro

"Hmmm, tasty; Toasted Oats and All the Other NCAA Teams"
Brenda Rambach, Greensboro

1. "Hmm, never knew zebra nuggets were so full of vitamins."
2. "Love these "Frosted Frog Flakes"."
3. "So, "Honey Nut Herons" have blue dye #6 added for realistic fun."
4. "Watching the ant farm during breakfast is fascinating."
5. "Yummmm, "Cocoa Buffalo Puffs" Yummmmm."
6. "Cool, here's a recipe for chocolate lizard cookies."
7. "This new box-set TV is the best ever!"
Cheryl Kidd, Greensboro

1.) Post AlphaBites cereal.
2) Rice a roni,Gnu flavor
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

I was the only species to survive evolution and all I got was this box of cereal.
We've had 65 million years to come up with something better tasting and we are still eating this mess!
Made for the manly alligator! Enough nutrients to make you last long enough to impregnate 15 women!
Last mating season, did you only service 5 ladies? By eating this for 6 weeks, you'll be able to raise that number by at least 50%!
Kelly Frye, Greensboro

Apex Predator Chow, Ingredients:Everybody else
2.)VH1 Chow with Spice girl,Salt N Pepper,Sugar Ray,Red Hot Chili Peppers
3.)Soylent Green helper.Just add people.
4.) Post Death RollOs
5.) Uncle Ben
6.)Honey Bunches of Oh my gosh is that an alliga.....
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
I liked that last one

HONEY BUNCHES OF TOADS
TRAIL MIX--- SLOW HIKERS (all parts) + FAST HIKERS (toes only)
REESE'S PIECES (and his fellow campers)
Kevin Little

3. The box say shut up, Steve!
4. Human meal fortified with insects, shrimp, fish, frog, snake and mammals!
5. Crispy Critters
Nancy Nelson

Peeples - Now with more fat!
Catherine FitzGerald, Greensboro

These Zebra and Wildebeest flakes are Grrrrrrrreat
This diet is lacking protean!
I've come this far in evolution and nothing on the box to read
This generic meal is for the humans
Generic wildebeest sucks
Just as I thought, dried animal parts
This beats lying in muddy water for months for a meal
Ronnie Seagraves, Greensboro

6. Charming Varmin!
7 Condensed Fish just add Swamp Water!
Nancy Nelson

I'm so disappointed. Cap'n Crunch doesn't taste anything like Cap'n Hook.
Ken Sheldon, Elon

1. Missionary Munchies Hi in Calcium and Vitamins
2. Water Hole Losers Chucks. Bits & Parts Variety Pak
3. Mini Shrunken Heads "A smile in every bite"
4. Food Chain Bottoms "Tasty, Tender" Freeze Dried
5. Road Kill Mix A mix from antelope to zebra "low in cholesterol"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro

"Croc-O`s! Crunch your cousins!"
"Boat Oats! As tasty as the real thing!"
"Puffed Mice"
"Cereal for gators! It`s cereal... for gators."
"Loot Loops! A more rare taste than the real thing!"
"Moatmeal. Just add moat water!"
Jordan Frye, 10

" Cream of Irwin ! "
Joel Clark, Greensboro
Too soon

"Meat flakes - 10% more meat, less sodium. Eat with bbq sauce"
Ciara Tolbert, Nathanael Greene Elementary, Age 10, Julian

1.) Honey Bunches of Goat
2.) Ingredients:corn,artificial zebra flavoring,corn syrup
3.)Unlucky Charms,Now with more leprechaun in every bite.
4.) Quaker instant goatmeal
4.) MonkeyOs,now with more monkey
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

Ripped,mangled,gnashed & torn flakes
2.)Coco coated critter crispies
3.)Ambush helper,just add prey
4.)Quaker instant bits,critter flavor
5.)Tastes like you ambushed it yourself
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

What? Only two arms per box?
Elaine S.

1.)Captain Crunchy's Crispy critters
2.) Spicy Minced Poodles with whole grain noodles
3.) Dried chunks of putrid skunks
4.) Piece of rear of a terrified deer
5.) Parts of a baboon and half a raccoon
6.) Pieces of moose marinated in juice
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

Mice krispies,snap,crackle,squeal
Tim Tribbett

"Now, with more spleen." That reminds me... I've got to check out today's comics.
Ken Sheldon, Elon
By all means. They’re not just for breakfast anymore

"How can I get a get a square box in a round bowl"
Louise Adcock, Siler City

KAYAKER'S ELBOW MACARONI
MUST-BE MUSKRAT LOAF
BITEY CROC-ERS BROWNIES (and other scouts)
CROCODILE ROCK CANDY
Kevin Little

Hmmmmmmm........Animal by products,,,,,I hope it wasnt any body I knew,,,,,
Robert Belton

8. Instant Gator Taters!
Nancy Nelson

ZEEBA KRUNCHYS *NOW WIFF MOR FRES ZEEBA MEAT
Find a finger in the box and win a prize!
Now with real bits of people!
More "people-clusters" than ever before.
Caution may contain items found in or near a swamp.
Caution may include one or more of the following: twigs, rocks, leaves, humans.
Caution processed in a plant that processes tree nuts.
Human content based on weight not volume.
Not responsible for any jewelry found in box.
Eric Grimm, Greensboro

"Honey bunches of toads"
"Frosted Franks"
"Fruit and Fibrous Material"
"Nut Bran"
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

A lucky human finger in each box. Collect all 10!
Cathy FitzGerald, Greensboro

Geese's Pieces
Cathy FitzGerald, Greensboro

1. SNAP & CRUNCH Free *life size gator inside box. *just add milk
Think outside the box But never wrestle with your thoughts.
Arm & Arm With honey cluster fingers
Free list of local swimming pools inside box.
Ahhhhhh-Ahahhhhh-ahahhhh!!! Call of the wild cereal. *free loincloth inside box
Tom Norman, Greensboro

"Shredded Meat"
"Alfie's Bits"
"Fruity Peoples"
Joel Tuggle, Archdale
Shredded meat and Fruity Peoples are also good.

Quit buying unlabeled groceries. The savings just aren't worth it.
J. C. Winkler, Asheboro

If you have to know what's in it you aren't really hungry!
Old-Fashioned Goodness - All the flavors you grew up with in the sewers of New York City
Joan Lux, Greensboro
Some good ideas here …

"Lucky Chum Cereal - Four flavors: One Hit wonders, Reality Stars, Politicians, Former Celebrities."
"Gator Bites: Small mammals, Turtles, and Fish."
"Cream of Golfer"
Jon Barsanti, Hillsborough
I like “cream of golfer”

"Quaker Bites - All of the taste - None of the Fight"
Mike Creech, Springboro, OH

1) i knew we could get TIM TEBOW on the cover of this cereal box!
2) aaah, i have always loved lucky arms!
3) what a rip off, i didnt find a toy inside.
4) mmmmmmmm, this is what i call captian crunch!
5) this cereal is good but thats the biggest posted note ive ever seen
6) wow, i love the MARSH-FELLOWS in this cereal...tasty!
7) i was right, it says right here this is a square meal
8) after this i am going to have to leak my lizard.
9) these instant MARSH-POTATOES really arent that bad!
Don Olson
The Marsh-Fellows one had potential

"Bayou Surprise.... Fortified with whatever has been disposed of in the swamp."
"Bayou Bites.... A lost scout troop in every box."
"Gator Grub.... Packed full of slow tourists."
Brent Wooten, Thomasville

"Hmm. 5 box tops for a pair of Crocs. I'm worth more than that alone."
"This is better than that New York sewer food".
"Mmm. Gazelle bites like ma used to make."
"I could show him Cap't Crunch."
"Win a free trip to Florida? Been there, done that."
"My Lucky Charms? Yeah, they're called teeth."
"911? Yeah, I've found that lady with the alligator purse."
"Snap, Crackle, Pop. Sounds like an ibex at dinner time."
"Win a new Impala! I've soooo got to enter this".
Stephen Botts, Greensboro

"Mr. Rickard, I like to tear and swallow. So, the jokes on chew."
"Croc Pot. Prescription required, available only in California and Alaska."
"Yup, this carcass is better in the Croc Pot."
"I've never been in de-Nile, but I did once eat a Tigris."
Stephen Botts, Greensboro

Swamp Rats
Mini Meat Bits
Death Roll Bites
Nancy Nelson
The death roll bites had potential …Maybe shorter - simply a box of “Death Rolls”

"Hmmm, I could swear I have a shirt with that guys picture on it."
Kay Watterson, Browns Summit

Canal Chow
AqueDUCK Flavored
100% artificial ingredients
FREE Everglades map inside!
Gray Amick