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Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

LAST WEEK'S CARTOON
Of all the "Pull over and ask directions" captions we received, we picked the one we thought worked best with the drawing.
Some of the more interesting captions, from JOU champ, CC, were submitted before the cartoon was even posted. See the blog. Also see the blog for all the Uranus jokes you could possibly want, courtesy mostly of Bob Beitzel. Thanks, Bob.
Live long and prosper. And, as Brewster Rockit would say: "May there be ham in your future."

WINNER
"That is the third time we have passed Saturn! ASK FOR DIRECTIONS!"
Kristyn Carter, Reidsville

JR. DIVISION WINNER
"Stop the spaceship! We forgot to invade Earth! "
Ciara Tolbert, Nathanael Greene Elementary, Age 10

RUNNERS-UP
The best ones will have been probed by now!
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro

"The place sure has changed. Last time we were here, Pluto was a planet."
Kevin Little

"Have you been drinking - you know what happened in Roswell!"
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro

"We finally get invited to the Org's house and you vaporize their cat!!"
Joel Clark, Greensboro

You are from Mars and I am from Venus ... this isn't working ...
Jon Barsanti, HIllsborough

"So what's it going to be tonight, a crop circle or cattle mutilation?"
Gray Amick, Greensboro

SO ENIGMATIC IT'S FUNNY
And the potato salad will spoil before we even get there.
Joan Lux Greensboro

As an addendum to the above category, we have a new category:
BEST CAPTIONS FOR CARTOON THAT HASN'T POSTED YET
I'll let JOU champ CC explain it to you:
Here are the First Ever PSYCHIC Joke's On You!!! These will go with tomorrow morning's new joke.... sight unseen. Yes, I know what you're thinking.... "but CC, your career is at the top of it's game".... yes, it's a risk, but what's comedy without a risk? And in case you go "Whoops, did I mention that i was on vacation so you have another week.... one of these answers is even for last week's joke, since I didn't get a chance to play." Yes, Tim, I am a Joke's On You Pioneer
Here are CC's Psychic entries for Friday 5/8/09 am's cartoon:
"I TOLD you that two wasn't going to be enough!!! "
"Look's like I picked a bad day to stop chewing tobacco."
"I see dead people."
"Objects in mirror appear closer than they really are."
"...230 days until Christmas and we have started decorating yet."
"All I know was that Geraldo Rivera just ran by screaming 'Where's My Yarmulke?!?' "
"Look's like Mr.Cohen forgot his yarmulke again. Wonder where his watch is?"
"Look's like SOMEbody just learned to spell yarmulke."
"Whatever you do, don't bend over to pick it up yet."
"I don't know.... I took aspirin. I called him in the morning. And I still feel like there's something missing."
"That's a dealbreaker, ladies!!"
"At least you made her anatomically correct... just ASK me next time you want to borrow my tools!"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro
To play (it would be too late for this week now) I'd have to receive your captions before the paper comes out that Friday morning.

BEST OBSCURE CULTURAL REFERENCE
You just knocked some silver dude off his board!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

No,you turn left at Betelgeuse,Betelgeuse Betelguese not Rigel!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

Phew,next time you serve man leave out the beans!
Tim Tribbett

"Let's buzz Arthur Dent's house."
Tom Norman, Greensboro

BEST/WORST PUN
We better find a parking meteor soon
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

BEST INSIDE JOKE
Gee, we're on a mission to abduct Brewster again!
Avoid Earth that where Brewster Rockitt's creator Rickard lives!
Nancy Nelson

You should speak more clearly. You told the mechanic you needed a booster rocket and got a comic strip instead?
Ken Sheldon, Elon

"I told you, turn right at Albuquerque, Izzy"
"Where's Bucky when you need him?"
"Izzy, it's the second star from the left, and straight on 'til morning"
"R.U.Sirius?" (BEST INSIDE JOKE [In My Humble Opinion])
Marcia Minsky (the GREAT #8)
Communications Officer
for The Official Brewster Rockit Fan Club

"Thanks to your probes we now know where they get all those funny captions!
Joel Clark, Greensboro

BEST POEM
From Gazoo, Alf and Mork you can check
Where the aliens came from on deck.
From their color and ears
It confirms all my fears:
They're more closely related to Shrek.
Ken Sheldon, Elon

Bob Mannary this is for you, You are a funny intelligent man
I'm one of your long-time fans,
For some of us wanna-be caption writer winners
that aren't quite as funny with the one liners,
this poetry corner is the place for us to show our creatitivy,
So don't be so negative and derogatory,
Poetry is free form, it doesn't have to have a beat,
it doesn't have to rhyme, that's what makes it so neat,
but in the spirit of Dr. Suess, One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish,
Now it's time for you to make your wish!
Nancy Nelson
We landed on Mars
and we got candy Bars,
We landed on Saturn
and we were put in a holding pattern,
We landed on the Moon
and they asked if would like some pies,
We went to Neptune
and were attacked by loons,
Mercury was such a hot spot
it made me see dots,
the Sun was no fun either, Pluto gives me the shivers
and they pulled arrows from their quivers,
Those creatures on Uranus wanted to go where noone has go before,
Earth wasn't much better,
but that old lady did knit us a sweater,
Venus was nice
but there was so much vice,
Jupiter is just too big
and they assaulted us with huge figs
This vacation was the pits,
so let's leave this galaxy now before we start having hissy fits!
Nancy Nelson

MATURE
"I told you to wipe right at Uranus!"
Dennis

"We're not going back there, so get your head out of Uranus and just drive!"
"Stop worrying! Nobody suspects that all your captions come from Uranus."
"For the last time, stop asking me if I enjoyed being in Uranus!"
"Why yes, I did have a lovely time in Uranus. Hey, wait a minute!"
"Why was that strange man smiling that way when he said that he had fun with you in Uranus?"
"Everyone else goes to the beach, but I have to spend my summer in Uranus!"
"Why did some strange woman just call and say that she thinks she left her necklace in Uranus?"
Bob Beitzel, Pleasant Garden

One more joke about Uranus and YOU know where MY foot is going!
Les Thomas

OTHER TOP CAPTIONS
These all received at least one vote from the judges.
I better not see you eyeing that eject button again mister!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

We're going to be late for the probing!
Tim Tribbett.Greensboro

"Put your antennas up when I'm speaking to you!!!"
Joel Clark, Greensboro

NO! You're not pulling that old "out of gas" routine on ME!
J. C. Winkler, Asheboro

"Earth is nice but I wouldn't want to live there!"
Joel Clark, Greensboro

I think that guy just gave us the middle tentacle!
Tim Tribbett.Greensboro

"I told you we should have stopped for directions!"
Rebecca Tatum, Greensboro

Well there's just the two of us and it sure wasn't me!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

That's the last time we visit the Jetsons! I saw you making eye at Rosie!
Ken Sheldon, Elon

Can't hardly see earth for all that space junk orbiting!
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

THE REST
"I stood right there in the kitchen before we left and asked 'Are you SURE you don't have to go because we can't stop in-between?' !!"
"How COULD you have left the stove on?...you don't cook!!!"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

1.) Keep your eye on the road!!
2.) How fast are you going?
3.)They have radar in this sector ya know!
4.)Careful! This area between Neptune and Uranus is a speed trap!
5.)Turn your defroster on!
6.)Always check your blind spot first!
7.)I think that guy just gave us the middle tentacle!
8.) You've had your turn signal on for 8 light years!
Tim Tribbett.Greensboro

1.) Your driving just made me create some dark matter!
2.) Let's NOT do the time warp again! 3.)Stop driving in the passing lane!
4.) I told you to slingshot off Jupiter to save gas!
5.) I hate it when you go impulse speed in the passing lane!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

We're going to be late for the probing!
Tim Tribbett

"You gotta remember to let the clutch out s-l-o-w-l-y!"
Ken Layton, Carthage

Keep your mind on what you're doin'! You missed that Black Hole by only a par-sec.
Glenda Layton, Carthage

Ain't love grand! I'll be driving my car from Texas to Florida.
Who designed this skyway with no rest stops?
Must have been a "make work" project . . . no rest stops.
Wrong terminology -- I'm not sitting in the BACK seat.
Drive right or I'll take the wheel, such as it is.
Well in the USA we drive on the right side.
Joan Lux, Greensboro

That's the last time we visit the Jetsons! I saw you making eye at Rosie!
Ken Sheldon, Elon

"Stop at Earth and ask for directions, Bonehead."
Luther Jackson, Stoneville

1. I told you not to go no where near Earth, those humans are at war all the time!
2. 2. I told you to watch where you're going!
3. 3. I told you to veer left, you almost hit Saturn!
4. 3. Gee, we're on a mission to abduct Brewster again!
5. 4. Avoid Earth that where Brewster Rockitt's creator Rickard lives!
6. 5. Just remember, if you dent it we can't take it back!
7. 6. Stop complaining, William Shatner got us a good deal on this vacation!
8. 7. But I don't want to play I spy with my one good eye!
9. 8. Who said two eyes are better than one!
Nancy Nelson

I knew we should've taken that left turn at Venus.
Why didn't you ask for directions from that nice Captain Kirk?
Why didn't you take care of that before we left home?
NO! You're not pulling that old "out of gas" routine on ME!
J. C. Winkler, Asheboro

"you drive like steve mcqueen"
elaine stringer, randleman

9. I told you not to wait until the last millennium to buy your mother a unique gift for Mother's Day!
10. You need to stop and ask for directions!
11. I just want to go home!
12. I don't want to get stranded out here in the middle of nowhere!
13. What do mean the needle is almost on empty?!
14. I have to go to the bathroon NOW! 15. I'm hungary, I'm eating for two you know!
15. Stop staring at me like that, you're creeping me out!
Nancy Nelson

16. What do you mean we're Lost in Space!
Nancy Nelson

You never say MY cooking's 'Out of this world!!!"
Ken Sheldon, Elon

"Face it your lost, now stop at the next planet and ask for directions"
Phil Caprara, Oak Ridge

"Will you keep your EYE on the road! You're scaring the stars out of me."
"I told you we should have stopped for directions!"
Rebecca Tatum, Greensboro

Do you think they saw us ?
They saw us ! Told you to get tinted glasss !
Are we Lost in Space ?
Are there any Rest Stops close by ?
Take me Home, NOW !
Step on it, I got to GO !
Step on it ! I don't want this child born an alien !
You're running my fare up going in circles.
I'm taking the bus next time !
I can drive circles around you !
Look out for that Asteroidddddddd ! # @ ! ! !
Keep your eye off those Heavenly Bodies !
Better get an eye full of Saturn now, it'll be history soon !
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

I told you not to get close to that black hole!
You should have stopped to get directions, now we have to deal with those two eyed monsters.
You want one of those American cars - they don't get good gas mileage.
Chriss Painter, High Point

Slow down! Didn't you see that dog star?
Betty Hobbs, Greensboro

How many times do I have to tell you: DON'T RIDE THE CLUTCH!
Betty Hobbs, Greensboro

USE YOU TURN SIGNALS! USE YOUR TURN SIGNALS!
Betty Hobbs, Greensboro

You should speak more clearly. You told the mechanic you needed a booster rocket and got a comic strip instead?
Ken Sheldon, Elon

And the potato salad will spoil before we even get there.
You didn't put Jr.'s carseat on the trunk of this contrapation . . . did you?
I think you're asking an awful lot from AAA.
I feel so much better traveling now that we're AAA members.
So call Detroit and complain -- they're used to it.
I told you not to buy a space vehicle made in Detroit.
Your vehicles always have been form over substance.
You should know by now not to listen to me on directions.
Joan Lux, Greensboro

"Uh-oh. Did I remember to turn off the iron?"
"The place sure has changed. Last time we were here, Pluto was a planet."
"How about a couple of loops over Roswell for old times sake?"
"I told you left at Pluto!"
Kevin Little

Slow down idiot!
Don Rankin, Greensboro

Where is the fire?
Don Rankin, Greensboro

I told u to take a right at the astroid belt didn't I Irve!
Lane Sibley, Greensboro

Just ask for directions Carl!
Lane Sibley, Greensboro

"Even IF earth had intelligent life, you wouldn't ask for directions!"
Brandon Breeze

"Of all the places in the galaxy, you took me that dump, Earth!"
"Slow down, the speed limit is just 5,000mph!"
"Look me in my eye and tell me you know where you're going."
"It's true what they say, women are from Nebula 2 and men are from Nebula 3."
"Have you been drinking - you know what happened in Roswell!"
"Even if there was intelligent life on Earth, you'd be too proud to ask for directions."
"You built a ship that can span the galaxy but forgot to install a gps!"
"Think twice if you're planning on pulling that I'm out of plutonium trick!"
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro

"Tenth time we've been around this way!!!
Would it kill you to ask for directions?"
Carol Manley, Eden

17. I thought this was a vacation, that Earthling tried to probe me!
18. They have some nerve calling us space aliens!
19. I need more SPACE!
20. This solar system is a blight on our galaxy!
Nancy Nelson

1,) Are you nuts?! You don't tailgate a death star! 2.)Out of gas? It's nuclear!
3.)Well duh,the parking brake is on!
4.)You just knocked some silver dude off his board!
5.)We can't vacation on Uranus without any preparation!
6.) I don't care if you are sleepy that window stays closed!
7.)..and my mother said not to marry blah blah blah never amount to anything blah blah blah...
8.) Did you just emit hydrogen sulfide into this controlled atmosphere?!
9.) Well there's just the two of us and it sure wasn't me!
10.) Don't you roll your eye at me mister!
11.)This is the third time you've flunked your driving test Tommy!
12.)We should have never bought a ship from planet Yugo!
13.) You know we can't marry unless you convert to string theory!
14.) You should have bought a ship with more light years per gallon!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

Borders are open now, but flight plan still says New Mexico !
I can't hear you, my ears are popping !
Did you see that cow jumping over the moon ?
I think a Moon Pie would taste good right now !
Does this thing backspace ?
Looks like you could use an eyedrop !
What do you mean by flying topless ? Me or the top ?
Is this a convertible ?
Those hands belong on the wheel and no where else !
It's a long way home, isn't it !
Frank C Leonard, Lexington

"The GPS said turn right at Saturn!"
Peggy Koppel, Greensboro

You didn't put Jr.'s carseat on the trunk of this contraption . . . did you?
Joan Lux, Greensboro

I don't know why you didn't buy an Edsel like everybody else.
Joan Lux, Greensboro

"Dont make me make you turn this space ship around!"
"I know I should have went at the last planet, but I can only hold it so long"
"I told you we should have asked for directions at the last planet!"
"That is the third time we have passed saturn! ASK FOR DIRECTIONS!"
Kristyn Carter, Reidsville

I've had it with this old saucer !! Do you know a good Saturn dealer?
Joel Stockard, Greensboro

I know I just went but I have to go again!
2.)PLEASE stop for directions!That's the third time we've passed saturn!
3.)I don't care if we're making good time I want a pit stop!
4.) No, I will not use a jar!
5.) What do you mean you have poor night vision?!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

With Maps and GPS and you steel can't find your way back home!
Let me drive, you can't even find one McDonald's
No other vehicles in sight, you can drive
With a learner's permit, you can't go Mach 10!
Turn right at the next galaxy
A billion stars and you got us lost
Slow down, you want to get a ticket?
Step on it, we've got 30 million more miles to go
We're lost, you drive like your mother
No cops in sight, put it to the floor
At this speed, we will be there in 3000 years
There's Saturn, only a few more planets to go!
Ronnie Seagraves, Greensboro

"Light-years of Hell."
"I'm going home to mother."
Note to Tim, ‘It's too obvious; but, I can't help it #1':
"You always forget your map and you never stop to ask for directions."
Note to Tim, ‘It's too obvious; but, I can't help it #2':
"And, another thing…."
Chuck Norton, Reidsville

"No offense Barney, but you keep driving like you're blind in one eye and can't see out of the other!!"
robert.wyrick

One of these days,bang,boom,zing to the moon zalice.
2.)The best ones will have been probed by now!
3.) You do that again and I'm putting on my oxygen mask!
4.)and it's not like we can open a window either!
5.) You forgot the probe lube again?!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

ARE YOU SURE THEY SAID BUZZ THE STATUE OF LIBERTY OR LAND ON THE HUDSON?
JUDY REGISTER, MCLEANSVILLE

BEAM UP AL GORE AND WE'LL SHOW HIM ABOUT GOING GREEN.
J. REGISTER, MCLEANSVILLE

I told you I'm not stopping on Earth to ask for directions!
B. REGISTER.JR., HICKORY

Why can't you ever stop for directions?
Admit it! We're lost.
I know we passed this asteroid before.
Slow Down!!! The speed limit is 500 mph.
You drive like your 800 years old.
Jodi Hepler, Clemmons

"We're flying 82 million miles because its double coupon day at Saturn's grocery stores?"
R. T. Rossi

1.) Warn a guy before you go from warp to a dead stop like that!
2.) No,you turn left at Betelgeuse,Betelgeuse Betelguese not Rigel!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

1.) #$%&* the prime directive,I wanna have some fun!
2.) How would like to step outside!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

"I told you, turn *right* at Albuquerque, Izzy"
"Where's Bucky when you need him?"
"Izzy, it's the *second *star from the left, and straight on 'til morning"*
*"R.U.Sirius?" (*BEST INSIDE JOKE [In My Humble Opinion]*)
Marcia Minsky (the GREAT #8)
Communications Officer
for The Official Brewster Rockit Fan Club
LosCon 36 Nov. 27 - 29, 2009
May there be ham in your future

1.) Would you like to step outside and settle this!
2.) You're grinding the clutch again!
3.)You put one scratch on my new saucer and you're history!
4.)You should have told me you can't drive a stick!
5.) Whew! Jupiter isn't the only thing fulla toxic gas around here!
6.) Aaack! You would be right at home on a gas giant!
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro

Phew,next time you serve man leave out the beans!
Tim Tribbett

So what?s it going to be tonight, a crop circle or cattle mutilation?
Gray Amick, Greensboro, Milky Way Galaxy

"Keep your eye on the road!!"
Pete Dey, Greensboro

21. Bleep, bleep, bleep! 22. Pull over you've had too many Marstinis!
23. My attennae are off the radar! 24. Pull over I'm sick, I ate too many Moon pies and Mars Bars!
25. This can't be the Milky Way, I don't see any chocolate!
26. Space Trip!
27. I forgot to pack the map!
28. You have to careful, you don't know who's watching!
29. Slow down we're not going to a fire!
Nancy Nelson

Harold I told you to take a left at the milkey way, Harold I told you to slow down, Harold blah,blah,blah
Paul Poretta, High Point

28. You have to be careful, you don't know who's watching!
30. Please don't go in another black hole, I'm afraid of the dark!
Nancy Nelson

"I told you not to have that second cup of coffee."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

"If he doesn't come home this time, leave him his other glitter glove and forget it."
Kevin Little

Think you can keep it level while I excuse myself ?
Please ! No loops while I'm in the rest room !
Where's your eyeglass ! You're restrictions require it !
Put on my seatbelt ! I keep it on with at the wheel !
Slow down or you'll see my insides out !
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

1.So you had to use Planet.com.
2 I told you ,you should have gotten a Star map.
3. You would have to rent a saucer, that didn't have a GPS system.
4. I told you should have made, a left at Uranus.
5.You did have to,want to eat at that Inter Galaxtic space station. You told me the food was good there. That's where all the Inter Galaxtic space cargo ships eat.
6. Next year we'll spend,our vacation on our own planet.
Mike Greeson, Greensboro

From Gazoo, Alf and Mork you can check
Where the aliens came from on deck.
From their color and ears
It confirms all my fears:
They're more closely related to Shrek.
Ken Sheldon, Elon

"You Forgot the MAP??? Just how do you think we can find Oprah's house now???"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

For the last time, there are no such things as earthlings!!
J.J. Sumner, Summerfield

"Oh Great... 'Lost in Space' again."
"I have to pee and I refuse to use the Wolowitz space toilet again!"
"What was that Big Bang I just heard?"
"Skip earth, I heard they just foreclosed on it."
"Keep your eye out for Atlantis, it's heading our way."
"If you don't stop for directions, I'm going to administer my own stress test on you!"
Mike Creech, Springboro, OH

"Head for San Francisco. We'll blend in!"
"I told you to wipe right at Uranus!"
"What do you means "No Breaks"!"
"Pinhead, there are NO windows to open!"
"We are the last of the Cyclops and you are sterile"
"I'm hungry, Go to earth and pick up a couple of fat snacks!"
"Quit staring at my boobs!'
"What!? We're out of fuel and being pulled into the sun!"
"I saw you giving her that eye!"
"The Galactic Positioning System is out and we are lost!!"
"Keep that eye open and step on the pulse drive! I told mother we be there in ten light years!"
Dennis

WELL, Mr. " Uranus is so big I could find it blinfolded" wish you had directions NOW!
Dean Tribbett, VA Beach VA

1.) You just think you're the center of the universe don't you?!
2.) What kind of idiot buys a time share on %$#& pluto?!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

A million miles from nowhere and we're out of gas!
Let me drive, I know the way, right!
Fasten your seat belt, this is going to get rough!
Let me drive, you get in the back seat
What sorry driving, do you need glasses?
Stop the ship, I'm walking back
Pull over, I'm motion sick!
Ronnie Seagraves Greensboro

1. "Is something wrong? You haven't said a word in light years."
2. "Hands at ten and two o'clock! We don't need anotherRoswell."
3. "We wouldn't be lost if you'd taken the last wormhole!"
4. "I spy with my big eye something that rhymes with girth."
5. "Let's buzz Arthur Dent's house."
6. "I should warn you that warp drive makes me hurl."
7. "How come you never tell me I have beautiful eye?"
8. "Where did you learn to fly this thing, at Roswell?"
9. "Look me in the eye and tell me you're not lost."
Tom Norman, Greensboro

Speaking of saturn,when am I going to get a #$%& ring?!
2.)If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it!
Tim Tribbett

"You'd better NOT have forgotten the Probe!!!"
"Come ON!! Wake UP!! There's a StarBuck' s up ahead!"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

NASA says get our nose up ! What's a NOSE ???
What a time to tell me you have aglass eye !
Can't hardly see earth for all that space junk orbiting !
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

We better find a parking meteor soon !
Oh No ! Your nicknamed, Shuteye ?
Orson Welles let'em know we were coming !
They see us as One Eyed Purple People Eaters !
You're going to see me Blast-off if you don't turn around.
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

"Good gosh Harold, you went right through that flashing super nova."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

Did you turn off the gas?
I gotta pee.
Frank Beamon, Greensboro

"ABDUCTION-SCHMUCTION!! Just once I like to do what I'D like to do!!!"
"ABDUCTION-SCHMUCTION!! Just One Time I'd like to just take a ride."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

1) " My shortcut would have saved us light years ! "
2) " Turn around ! They are going to explain what they meant by illegal aliens !! "
3) " Slow down !! You know this area is a speed trap ! "
4) " The guys in the spaceship we just passed flipped us off !!! "
5) " Let's visit Area 51 you said ! Great idea Einstein ! "
6) " What exactly are we looking for with all these probes ? "
7) " Do you have to tell the story about your mother losing her glass eye at every party ? "
8) " Earth is nice but I wouldn't want to live there ! "
9) " I've noticed you only like to probe the cute ones !! "
10) " We finally get invited to the Org's house and you vaporize their cat!! "
11) " Put your antennas up when I'm speaking to you !!! "
12) " Just pull into the next space station and ask for directions ! "
13) " When he said make yourself at home he didn't mean to probe everything that moves !! "
14) " You idiot !!! You left crop circles all over that field ! "
15) " News flash. Nobody likes the "pull my antenna" gag !! "
16) " I saw you flirting with that two eyed tramp !! "
17) "Mom always said I should have married Oogg!"
18) "Will you hurry up ! I have to get back into my Oprah costume before they notice I'm gone ! "
19) "Hurry up ! We are going to miss American Idol !! "
20) "Thanks to your probes we now know where they get all those funny captions!
Joel Clark, Greensboro

Stop playing chicken with #$%& comets!
2.) I better not see you eyeing that eject button again mister!
3.)That's your 3rd ticket for breaking the law of relativity!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

"Slow down, you idiot! Didn't you see that asteroid crossing sign back there?"
Gray Amick, Greensboro

I told you to ask for directions at the last galactic station.
Recalculating ... that is Garmin for 'Lost.'
Quit acting like this is the Millennium Falcon.
I told you there was not reception out here.
I knew Neil Armstrong. Neil Armstrong was a friend of mine. You are no Neil Armstrong.
We are NOT going to buzz Roswell, NM again this year ...
Better hurry - 'AirVenture' starts July 27th in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, Earth.
I miss 'Third Rock from the Sun.'
I Miss Stargate SG-1 and Jack O'Neil.
For the last time, Pluto isn't a planet anymore.
It goes Neptune, Uranus, Saturn, Jupiter, Mars, then Earth ....
You are from Mars and I am from Venus ... this isn't working ...
Jon Barsanti, HIllsborough

One more joke about Uranus and YOU know where MY foot is going!
Les Thomas