news-record.com

THIS WEEK'S CARTOON

Send your entries to jokesonyou@news-record.com

Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

LAST WEEK'S CARTOON
Bravo! One of the best weeks in a long time. It really brought the "Far Side" out in a lot of you. Easily a dozen more captions could have qualified for inclusion. Read below. It's worth it.
How'd my captions rank? Well, check below and judge for yourself. Let's just say I remember why I don't do this often. Too many of you took me to school.
And Jrs., remember to include your school with your entry, even if you're not entering it as part of a class effort.

MY CAPTIONS
Looks like the feud with the chickens is coming to a head.
Beware cows bearing gifts, Zeb.
Those Three-penny nails will never hold that treated pine. Stupid cows!
Usually, they just stampede when they're nervous.
I'd check their feed for hormones.
Don't worry, they'll give up on it just like they did the atom smasher.
So, THIS is why milk production's been down.
We may have done one too many cow tippings.
They say animals can predict coming disasters. This should be interesting.

WINNER
"Beware of cows bearing gifts."
Mike Creech, Springboro, OH

JR. DIVISION WINNER
"It sounds like they're chanting, 'Eat more chicken.'"
Carlee Shepard, Age 10, The Academy at Lincoln

RUNNERS-UP
"He said something about getting even with the chickens."
Joel Clark, Greensboro

Stupid cows. Measure twice and cut once.
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro

Sure hope they taste better than they build.
Les Thomas

So that's where my wood to repair the barn went!
Nancy Nelson

Remind me to cut back on the BGH.
Jon Barsanti Jr, Hillsborough

"Wow I guess milk can make you strong!"
Kristyn Carter, Reidsville, age 13

"Damn internet."
Bill Wallace, High Point

"Great, now I have to get them a gift."
Tom Norman, Greensboro

BEST OBSCURE CULTURAL REFERENCE
They said something about King Arthur getting revenge on those guys in the French castle.
Ken Sheldon, Elon

Good thing we know our Monty Python.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

DUCK! I know Doreen Cronin is somewhere on this farm!
Okay, I know I won't win and I'll save you the Google unless you have elementary age children. Doreen Cronin is author/illustrator of Click Clack Moo, Cows that Type and 4 or 5 sequels. The farm animals revolt against Farmer Brown led by Duck.
Julia Johnson

BEST "SO ENIGMATIC IT'S FUNNY" CAPTION
In the right light, the one with the hammer looks just like Brad Pitt.
Les Thomas

. . . and for whatever reason, the pigs are building a huge fish.
Les Thomas

BEST INSIDE JOKE
Do you think Tim's ego will fit in thar?
(Remember you've not the only Tim in this contest)
Nancy Nelson

"I don't know Fred, but it looks like Rickard's Folly to me"
Marcia Minsky #8
Communications Officer For The OBRFC
Rockit-On, Number eight!

"You don't reckon Tim thought it was a Trojan Cow do ya?
"Wonder how many Trojan references there will be this week?"
Cheryl Kidd, Greensboro

BEST/WORST PUN
Too many "udder" jokes to list.

"Looks like they've been studying 'Graze' Anatomy".
Ed Stumpf, Jamestown

I hear it has a rumen with a view.
Tim Tribbett

"Watching this is a mooving experience."
Mike Creech, Springboro, OH

"They are an offshoot of the Steering Committee."
Gray Amick. Greensboro

BEST POEM
All the cattle are furious now,
Being milked and then served up as chow.
So while we were in slumber
They bought lots of lumber
And built an immense Trojan cow.

Then they parked it in front of BK
While inside there was hidden away
Twenty cows in the thing,
Who then beat up the King,
And then made it a new Chick-fil-A.
Ken Sheldon, Elon

MATURE
The wife asked me to pick up some sheep skin trojans and you know how confused I can get.
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro

"The ribbed design on the outside in interesting…"
Mike Creech, Springboro, OH

OTHER TOP CAPTIONS
"I have a feeling that those kids next door are never going to go cow tipping again."
Chuck Norton, Reidsville

There's talk that they're going to rescue Elsie.
Joan Lux Greensboro

"Do ya think we can tip that sucker?"
Isaac Studebaker, Summerfield

"Bob, you may want to splurge and get those warmers for your new milking machine."
Kevin Little

"I'm not familiar with Greek mythology - should I be worried?"
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro

If I told 'em once, I told 'em a hundred times, Don't stand under the project without yer hard hats on!
I'm sorry about that Jimmy, but it's been so entertaining, I didn't want to ask for your tools back.
That ain't nothin, my hogs are building a condo.
Les Thomas

"There's another herd in the next field making a big foil package to put it in."
Mike Creech, Springboro, OH

I rue the day I got them the History Channel.
Cathy FitzGerald, Greensboro

I must have missed that episode of New Yankee Workshop.
Eric Grimm, Greensboro

"They borrowed the tools without asking again."
James Sykes, Elon

"Plus, I'm having to pay them union scale."
Bill Wallace, High Point

AND NOW: BATTLE OF THE GIANTS
TIM vs JOEL
Interestingly, the two with the most entries included in the short list was Joel Clark, who was arguably JOU's best caption writer from the early days, and the current top caption writer Tim Tribbett. We're all winners.

Mine just eat grass.
Smart? Nah, they try this every year.
I'm not fallin' for that one again!
I think your cows have too much free time.
I told you them Home Depot gift cards was a bad idea!
Didn't your pigs try that the other week?
Them stupid cows forgot the exit hatch.
I would love to see their faces when they come out at the slaughter house.
They're up to something.
Ya kinda hate to eat 'em when they go to that much trouble.
That doesn't concern me nearly as much as the giant barbeque pit.
Ol' Bessie is the ringleader and the rest are just hamburger helpers.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

"So this is where my tools went!"
"What did you say you were feeding them ? "
"I just thought you might want to give your herd a little warning."
"It not easy living this close to Gary Larson ! "
"Stupid cows! Now where are they gonna sleep?"
"This is what I meant by the " Farside " of the farm."
"It's their version of "Burning Man"
"They're so smart !! It's gonna kill me to eat those fellas !!! "
"You might want to take a closer look at the hay again."
"It would be even more impressive if they knew how to put their tools away!!! "
"Now what were you saying about that prize winning pig of yours?"
"They hope it scares away any cowtippers!
Joel Clark, Greensboro

THE REST
1.) I'm not fallin' for that one again!
2.) I told you them library cards was a bad idea.
3.) Teaching them ancient greek history was a bad idea Bob.
4.) It's the fact that they think we're that stupid that bothers me.
5.) Ha! Stupid cows think we don't know our Greek mythology!
6.) What a thoughtful gesture.
7.) I think your cows have too much free time.
8.)Should we tell them we know this one?
9.) I told you them Home Depot gift cards was a bad idea!
10.) Didn't your pigs try that the other week?
11.) I'm glad they got a hobby.
12.)You hate to see all that hard work go to waste.
13.)Them stupid cows forgot the exit hatch.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro(this cartoon makes me nostalgic for the Far Side)

From Carlee Shepard, Age 10, The Academy at Lincoln:
"It sounds like they're chanting, 'Eat more chicken.'"

1.) Never look a gift cow in the udder.
2.)What's that hatch for ya reckon?
3.) I smell a rat.
4.)That would look great in the hay barn.
5.)They want us to put it in the hay barn.
6.) I would love to see their faces when they come out at the slaughter house.
7.)They're up to something.
8.)You cows don't forget where you got them tools
9.) It's greek to me. 10.)Sooo, that's who took my book of ancient greek mythology.
11.) You may be milking 'em too hard.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

"Do ya think we can tip that sucker?"
Isaac Studebaker, Summerfield

They got the idea from reading Homer's "The Iliad."
Ken Layton, Carthage

"They call it a Trojan cow. Udderly brilliant."
J. C. Winkler, Greensboro

I supplied the lumber, but i still don't know what it means.
Ken Layton, Carthage

Bossy said that it's tied in to the "Eat Mor Chickin" campaign.
Ken Layton, Carthage

"They are planning to sabotage Chik-Fil-A ."
Doris Hartsfield, Stokesdale

1. Believe it or not, the hard part was getting them to stand upright.
2. Somehow, they convinced me a Trojan cow was a good idea.
Ed Stumpf, Jamestown

1. I think we should Milk this Cartoon for all its worth!
2. Dumb old cows, don't they know we can see them!
3. They asked if I'd help them pull it into the McDonald's parking lot!
4. They got the blueprints off the internet!
5. So that's where my wood to repair the barn went!
5. When I was a child, I had a rocking horse but nothing like this!
6. Old Bessy redesigned the head so it didn't look like a horse!
7. It's an UTTER disgrace! 8. If we don't go along with their demands, No more milk!
( Tim, very cute cartoon, coming up with a good caption may be harder though)
Nancy Nelson

They were inspired by engineering students from NC State.
It's the last time those art students from NC State will visit this farm.
It's part of the "Farming is an Art" program at NC State.
One coyote visit -- and now this!
It's my fault for allowing "The History Channel" in the barn.
They want to be more cultured -- and not just in yogurt.
No more Greek Shorthorn cows for this farm!
But you'd think they'd build a bull.
Sunup to sundown they work like little Trojans.
Joan Lux Greensboro

9. It's an udder disgrace!
10. This is udderly ridiculous!
11. Its all Greek to me!
Nancy Nelson

They said something about King Arthur getting revenge on those guys in the French castle.
Ken Sheldon, Elon

"This is udderly ridiculous!"
Cheryl Blythe-Carver, Greensboro

Chick-fil-a's marketing budget has been cut, I see.
J. C. Winkler, Greensboro

"Chick-fil-A's not gonna fall for a Trojan Cow!"
John Koppel, Greensboro

I don't know why they're singing "A horse is a horse, of course, of course."
I tried to tell the farmer next door not to plant soybeans.
Joan Lux Greensboro

"Well, Old McDonald----looks like words gotten out about your being bought out by your brother Ronald."
"Bob, you may want to splurge and get those warmers for your new milking machine."
"Call Burger King-----they may want to close their drive-thru for tonight."
Kevin Little

1.) They must think we're morons.
2.)Yep,looks like mad cow disease.
3.) Stupid cows.Measure twice and cut once.
4.) Mine just eat grass.
5.)They're giving it to us.Isn't that sweet.
6.) Good thing we know our Monty Python.
7.) I bet you're glad we took that ancient history class now.
8.)Smart? Nah,they try this every year.
9.)They said it would look great next to the grain silos.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

I will play you rock ,paper, sicors to see who gets on first
Is there gonna be a milk flood
Who knew?!?
must be a new milk machine
I've never heard of a Trojan Bull.
Ever seen anything like it? Nope, you? Nope.
Paul Seagraves , Graham

DUCK! I know Doreen Cronin is somewhere on this farm!
Julia Johnson

I tried to tell them we have trucks to take the milk to the market, but they wouldn't listen.
Ken Sheldon, Elon

"Yep. I hired the unemployed cows from 'The Far Side.'"
David Holley, Greensboro

1."WITH THAT EGO, I'M SURPRISED IT'S NOT MADE OUT OF GOLD."
2."HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO EAT MOR CHIKIN LOOKING AT THAT? STEAK ANYONE?"
3."WHO DOES HE THINK IS GOING TO MOOOOVE THAT THING?"
4."THE FIRST LACTOSE-FREE COW."
5."SO THIS IS HIS IDEA OF CLONING?"
6."I GUESS WHEN YOU MILK IT, MULCH COMES OUT."
PAULA HAIRSTON, GREENSBORO

1."I HOPE THEY BUILD A FARMER TO MILK IT".
2."ALL I SAID WAS IF THEY WERE TIRED OF BEING MILKED THEY NEED TO BUILD A BETTER COW".
3."I WONDER IF MULCH COMES OUT WHEN YOU PULL THE UDDERS?"
PAULA HAIRSTON, GREENSBORO

12. Cow-a bunga!
13. Holy cow!
14. I'm not milking that one!
15. Do you think our cows have mad cow disease?!
16. Shoot! 17. Get your gun, they're all MAD!
18. I feel a raid on the henhouse coming!
19. You don't think the chickens will fall for that old trick, do you?!
20. I'm lactose intolerant!
22. They think the grass is greener on the other side!
23. They think it'll get them to California!
24. Now that's a WHOPPER!
25. If you build it, they will come!
26. They're humming,California Dreaming!
27. Why hire a carpenter, when you can get the cow for free?!
28. The cow's get a little crazy this time of the month!
29. This isn't Bull!
Nancy Nelson

They said it was some kind of corporate icon for bovine birth control products.
Ken Sheldon, Elon

There's talk that they're going to rescue Elsie.
Joan Lux Greensboro

"Wow I guess milk can make you strong!"
Kristyn Carter, Reidsville, age 13

My entry for this week's cartoon is the following:
"We're calling it 'utter construction.'"
Marcia Weston, McLeansville

"Looks like they've been studying 'Graze' Anatomy".
Ed Stumpf, Jamestown

Do you think Chik-fil-A has anything to do with this insurgency?
Corey Poindexter, Greensboro

"I have a feeling that those kids next door are never going to go cow tipping again."
"This is gonna take cow tipping to a whole new level."
"You should have seen last year's History project."
Chuck Norton, Reidsville

"What I can't figure out is how they got the money to pay for the lumber."
"What you see there Fred is the epitome of genetic engineering."
"Makes that commercial on TV seem rather tame, doesn't it?"
"I gotta go make a phone call."
Chuck Norton, Reidsville

This " Eat Mor Chikin " thing is going too far
A Trojan Cow?
This is UTTERly ridiculous
I Wouldn't drink any of that milk
That is a bunch of bull
That is one heck of a T-bone
Our cows have too much time on there hands
I don't wanna even think of where the solders will come out!
A Trojan cow, I don't wanna even think of where the solders will come out!
Ronnie Seagraves, Greensboro

"Never again, will I give them a day off."
"All I did was give them a day off."
"Now there's a first, I've never seen a cow climb a ladder."
Chuck Norton, Reidsville

"Those Chic-Fil-A people are paying big bucks for this one."
Jack Jackson, Greensboro

"All I know is they think 'Drink more soy' is gonna help"
Joyce Jones

1.) Ya kinda hate to eat 'em when they go to that much trouble.
2.) Let's come out tonight and tip it over.
3.) Like I ain't seen that ol' chestnut before.
4.) I secretly erased the hatch from their blue print.
5.) You heard of mad cow diease? This is sneaky cow disease.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

1.)This will be the best national cow day parade yet!
2.) Well,the wife asked me to pick up some sheep skin trojans but this was all I could find.
3.)The wife asked me to pick up some sheep skin trojans and you know how confused I can get.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

This cow caper could turn out worse than "The Ransom of Red Chief."
Said they're going to visit that soy milk dairy farm down the road.
Joan Lux Greensboro

1. "All I know is that Lancelot, Gallahad and Bedivere are supposed to leap out during the night and catch Ronald McDonald completely by suprise."
2. "Personally, I think it's an "udder" waste of time..."
OK, a Monty Python reference and a bad pun....
Bill Mann, Greensboro

"It's a shame they'll be slaughtered before they finish."
"They said they're making a gift for the people at Wendy's"
"They make a strong case for vegetarianism, don't they?"
"They almost make you wanna quit eating meat...ALMOST!"
"I'm not familiar with Greek mythology - should I be worried?"
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro

Maybe I should end movie night before they see "300".
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

"Udder nonsense."
Marsha Elam, Greensboro

"It's Greek to me."
Marsha Elam, Greensboro

1.) I guess "eat mor chikin" ain't working.
2.)I know what you're thinkin' but it's just fulla cud.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

Who ever thought the chickens would fight back?
Do you think this is really going to fool the chickens?
Before you know it, they'll be stealing our hamburgers.
They've been working on it for weeks. They think the chickens don't have a clue.
At midnight, they're going to push it into the parking lot at McDonald's.
Larry Tyrell, Stokesdale

1. "Remember the good ole days when a cow was a cow?"
2. "I'm amazed how smart these "California" cows are!! I've got to admit, they work like Trojans!"
Carol Manley, Eden

I guess they think the grass is greener on the other side.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

"They had to send away for the udders."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

"Mighty nice of them to donate it to the new burger joint in town."
Marsha Elam, Greensboro

"Maybe the bedtime stories were a mistake."
"Last I heard, it was an offering to Ronald McDonald."
Marsha Elam, Greensboro

I should have had them build the new barn
I think the girls want to get with the new bull ...
I don't think they understand the Chick-Fil-A ad campaign
I didn't know that they had opposable hooves
Remind me to cut back on the BGH ...
They REALLY want to get in to see a Durham Bulls game ...
I don't have the heart to tell them that the Durham Bulls are baseball players.
Jon Barsanti Jr, Hillsborough

Now that is Uterily rediclous!
Paul Seagraves, Graham

I think is a cross breed, Never seen a bull with utters.
Paul, Graham

'Hey Joe, do you smell chicken?'
James, Barbara

"I heard it's a road trip for Chick Fil-A."
Elizabeth L. Edmonds

In the righ light, the one with the hammer looks just like Brad Pitt.
I Googled "Mad cow disease", it said to look for a change in behaviour . . .
The Vet said to keep 'em active . .
Yah, "Troy" was a good movie, but I'd better shut the shades before I watch "The Great Escape" on the new big screen.
They've been trying to get into the horse's pasture for years.
. . . sure hope they taste better than they build.
If I told 'em once, I told 'em a hundred times, Don't stand under the project without yer hard hats on!
I'm sorry about that Jimmy, but it's been so entertaining, I didn't want to ask for your tools back.
. . . and for whatever reason, the pigs are building a huge fish.
That ain't nothin, my hogs are building a condo.
Les Thomas

"They're planning to fill it with chickens and leave it at Chick-fil-A."
"Watching this is a mooving experience."
"Chick-fil-A is NOT going to like this."
"They started building it right after the methane-gas tax was proposed."
"This looks like a Gary Larson scene."
"It's udder madness...cows can't read."
"Beware of cows bearing gifts."
"I am surprised; I didn't think cows could climb ladders."
Mike Creech, Springboro, OH

"Here's our ticket to greener pastures, girls!"
"I hear the grass is greener on the other side of the pasture."
"Think it'll work in Rome, Georgia, too?"
"They'll no longer milk us for all we're worth!"
"We might better paint it white with black spots."
"We'll be moooooving at the first light of the mooooon."
"Does it look real enough? Farmer Jones knows his Holsteins."
"We can fool Farmer Jones, but I'm not so sure about the border collies."
"C'mon, girls. It's a late-night run through the Chick-Fil-A drive thru."
"Here we come, Chick-Fil-A drive thru!"
"When I'm with calf, I really crave those chicken nuggets!"
"Ladies, no more grimy field-trip kids pointing at our udders!"
"Funny thing is, they never suspect us. Sheriff always nabs them Turner
boys for cow-tipping."
"Ready for an evening of cow-tipping, girls?"
Kris Voy, Trinity

"I don't think that 'Trojan' cow is going to protect anything!"
"There's another herd in the next field making a big foil package to put it in."
"It's got to work. It's just too big to fail."
"The scary thing is, I saw 55 gallon drum of fluorescent paint that they're going to use to paint it."
"The ribbed design on the outside in interesting..."
Mike Creech, Springboro, OH

1,)Yeah, I know what they're planning but my TV is broke and I'm bored.
2.)That doesn't concern me nearly as much as the giant barbeque pit.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

"A strange breed----a cross between Holsteins and historical re-enactors."
"I don't care how--- I just smell blue ribbons at the State Fair parade!"
Kevin Little

"They plan to raid and burn the slaughterhouse!"
"The wood and nails were funded by the stimulus package!"
"I hear they are being added in the new jobs count!
"I see it as an utter disaster!"
"Their plans are Greek to me!
"I am impressed, the plans are in Greek!"
"They all have onset of Mad Cow Disease!"
"They downloaded Trojan Horse plans by mistake!
"They want to surprise the cows at the dairy farm"
"The chickens are peeved! That the wood from their coop!"
"That's my crew!. They have have engineering degrees from MooU!"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro

1.) I reckon it'll explode from the methane gas buildup
2.) Wanna buy some cattle real cheap?
3.) Ol' Bessie is the ringleader and the rest are just hamburger helpers.
4.) We're gonna ambush that #$%&* farmer that stole my best pig Helen!
5.) They've kinda lost the element of surprise.
6.) I'll just hook it to the pickup and haul 'em to market.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro (Gray Amick's amber alert runnerup was my favorite last week)
It was one of my favorites too.

I rue the day I got them the History Channel.
Cathy FitzGerald, Greensboro

These here cows of mine, are trying to find away,to get more fiber in their meat. But to me it looks like it going to tast like wood.
Mike G., Greensboro

"I heard one of 'em say it's supposed to be like a prophylactic equine."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

Last week they tried catapulting out.
Cathy FitzGerald, Greensboro

"Well, I guess if Helen can have a horse, Bessie can have a cow"
"I don't know Fred, but it looks like Rickard's Folly to me"
Marcia Minsky #8, Communications Officer For The OBRFC

1) buddy, their trying to remake the chic fil a commercial
2) that cow is gonna have some huge...round....wheels!
3) Dilbert, what are you feeding these cows?
4) Look at the set on that cow.....horns that is!
5) looks like they dont have enough steaks to finish the project.
6) they want us to eat more chicken
7) im telling you billy, this was all their idea, i told em to milk it for whats its worth!
8) ever since i put a tv in the barn they think their gonna be on that commercial.
9) i told them to not MILK this project but still use TENDER touch when nailing the STEAKS in then blow the HORN when their done.
10) look at the wood on that cow!
11) dilbert, i told you its for the rolling of the bulls 2009 in spain.
tyler olson

1. I didn't know Chick-fil-a was having a parade.
2. You should seen what the chickens were up to.
3. I must have missed that episode of New Yankee Workshop.
4. It keeps them from going mad, you know.
5. Now I know why all of that paint got delivered.
Eric Grimm, Greensboro

"It's for the bull and he wants them to take it to the china shop."
"They insisted on recycling the wood from my old barn."
"My herd volunteered for the sets of Heifer's Odyssey."
"I think it's utterly ridiculous Fletch."
"It's their answer to the swine flu threat."
Gray Amick, Greensboro

1. "You don't reckon Tim thought it was a Trojan Cow do ya?
2. "These Greek cows sure are funny."
3. "Wonder how many Trojan references there will be this week?"
4. "They just watched that movie "Chicken Run."
5. "I heard they were hoping to attract a large blue ox in the area."
6. "I never knew your cows were so clever Sam."
7. "So that's why you were needing all that wood.!"
8. "What in the world is all this about?"
9. "Sam, this is downright wierd."
Cheryl Kidd, Greensboro

"If I'm translating it right, that right there is a prophylactic equine."
"Not too bad for critters without opposable thumbs."
"Sure it'll work. Just last week they helped the goats make a real live rocketship."
"That one on the right there is about as worthless as a fifth teat."
"I just don't think they've thought this through."
"If they get caught, I'm afraid it could mean the slaughterhouse."
"Yeah, they're stuck. Government's making them put in an airbag."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

1. "Worst case of Mad Cow Disease I've seen."
2. "I really need to cut back on my cough medicine."
3. "That's the ugliest horse I've ever seen."
4. "Great, now I have to get them a gift."
5. "That's utterly ridiculous."
6. "You really shouldn't let them watch the History Channel."
7. "Maybe it's part of the stimulus package."
8. "Don't worry, as soon as it falls asleep we'll push it over."
Tom Norman, Greensboro

"They're trying to protect themselves from the swine."
"I didn't know you had Greek cows."
"Have you been reading your cows the Iliad again Homer?"
"Mine are building the same thing just out of straw."
Brent Wooten, Thomasville

1) " So this is where my tools went ! "
2) " What did you say you were feeding them ? "
3) " It's nice but how has it affected milk output ? "
4) " I told him it was a stupid plan but he's so bull headed . "
5) " He said something about getting even with the chickens. "
6) " I just thought you might want to give your herd a little warning."
7) " It not easy living this close to Gary Larson ! "
8) " I know you're proud of them but the fact is they didn't ask to borrow my tools ! "
9) " Stupid cows ! Now where are they gonna sleep ? "
10) " You might want to take a closer look at the hay again . "
11) " I don't know why, but they've been at it since they got loose in Willie Nelson's pasture ! "
12) " Old McDonald has really lost control over there. "
13) " This is what I meant by the " Farside " of the farm. "
14) " It's their version of "Burning Man" . "
15) " I told them if they built the barn themselves that I would stay out of it. "
16) " On one hand, it's very cool. On the other hand, it kinda gives me the creeps ! "
17) " Now what were you saying about that prize winning pig of yours ? "
18) " A golden calf it's not, but not a bad try . "
19) " They hope it scares away any cowtippers !
20) " They're so smart !! It's gonna kill me to eat those fellas !!! "
21) " It would be even more impressive if they knew how to put their tools away !!! "
22) " I'm going to check and see if the bible mentions this !!! "
23) " I don't think this will end well ! "
24) " I'd like to see old man Johnson's pig top this. "
25) " Last year one of them sinks a boat, now this !!! "
Joel Clark, Greensboro

"You just had to teach them about the Trojan War!"
Ciara Tolbert, Nathanael Greene Elementary, Age 10, Julian,

"They see it as a cattle mutilation deterrent."
"They are an offshoot of the Steering Committee."
"At least it's an environmentally safe mode of transportation."
Gray Amick, Greensboro

30. Haven't you heard of a Creative Cow?
31. Who ever hear of a Trojan Cow?
32. Do you think Tim's ego will fit in thar? (Remember you've not the only Tim in this contest
33. Well Bessie told me Elsa was getting bored so I bought this model kit?!
24. Maybe they'll build themselves a fancy barn, next time!
Nancy Nelson

"GOT MULCH?"
PAULA HAIRSTON, GREENSBORO