news-record.com

Send your entries to jokesonyou@news-record.com

Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

LAST WEEK'S CARTOON
Well, I'm back. Miss me?
A little something different. I often get entries from kids. It seems unfair to have them compete against the grown-ups, so, I'm adding a test category for kids age 12 or under. If you, or someone you know fits that criteria and wants to enter, just mark the entry somewhere as "Jr. division" and give the entrant's name and age in the e-mail or mail. We'll pick our favorite of these and run it.

WINNER
I was going to retire December 31st, until my 401k tanked.
Jon Barsanti Jr, Hillsborough

JR. DIVISION WINNER:
"What the?! Baby food! I forgot i ain`t no baby 2008 anymore. Stupid 2009."
Jordan Suzanna Frye, age 9, Greensboro

RUNNERS-UP
"And I still don't know what credit default swaps are."
Hal Koger, McLeansville

Ever had a crowd count down to your death?
Grady, Greensboro

"I just don't understand why I didn't get a bail out, everyone else that ran things into the ground did."
Lyn Nieri, Summerfield

Yup. Me too. Fired and replaced by someone a lot younger with a lot less experience.
Ken Sheldon, Elon

I've entered the witness protection program.
Bill Wallace, High Point

It's almost midnight. That poor clueless little schmuck!
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro

BEST OBSCURE CULTURAL REFERENCE
Do you like movies about gladiators?
Looks like I picked the wrong year to quit drinking.
Eric Grimm, Greensboro
... and don't call me Shirley

Some folks call it a sling blade, I call it a Kaiser blade mmmmmhm.
Tony Hummel, Reidsville

"Clarence, I think it would have been better if I had never been born."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

I can take the taunts but I don't like the farting in my general direction.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
Funny, you don't look French

I bet this isn't as good as the elderberry wine those two old ladies offered me.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
…with old lace …

Or, if that was too high-brow, there's this one for those of you who remember "Hee-Haw"
GLOOM, DESPAIR AND AGONY ON ME...
David Jones, Greensboro

BEST INSIDE JOKE
When I was your age, we didn't have any bars here in Asheboro.
J. C. Winkler, Asheboro

"I didn't think we would be doing this in Asheboro during my watch !"
Harold Sexton, Asheboro

Well, after this I plan to get a job as an extra in the Brewster Rockit strip.
Bryan Tribbett, Roanoke, Va.

Another prune juice and put it on Rickard's tab
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

My brother Mel Practice was always mom's favorite.
Eric Grimm, Greensboro

"Sigh. My biggest regret is that I never won the joke's on you contest in 2008."
"Not too much funny happened in '08, I don't know what to say."
Michael L. Creech, Springboro, OH

I use two calendars -- the Gregorian and the GCS calendar on the fridge.
Joan Lux, Greensboro
Me too.

Thanks for listening to my troubles Mr. Rickard.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro
... huh?
(my wife would apperciate that comment)

I can't even hide from Pam on the RU Sirius
Jon Barsanti Jr, Hillsborough

Tim went on vacation and I'm stuck here another week!
The cartoonist went on vacation and I'm stuck here another week.
Hope 2009 can teach Tim how to tell time!
Tim(e) management is the key to a happy new year!
( Just having a little fun here,the JOY is on you, have a good vacation)
Nancy Nelson
Thanks, Nancy.

Apparently I'm not done until Rickard names a winner.
Deadpan

Us old-bots may be old and slow, be we can get the job done!
Nancy Nelson

I may need another drink if Tim doesn't post a new "JOU"
Jon Barsanti Jr
Sometimes drinking helps when you're reading JOU. Or judging it.

MATURE
.....and I said I don't think my scythe will even fit back there!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

BEST POEM
With the passage of each year,
Prosperity is what we want to hear,
Well it's not happening this year,
I took my best shot, I see you're crying in your beer.
When we get greedy
and don't help the downtrodden and the needy
our 401-Ks, health insurance, environment, stock,
businesses, etc. all go to pot.
It's too late for me but you, my friend,
can start all over again!
My last advice Make Love not War and may 2008 Rest in PEACE!
Nancy Nelson

THE REST
1. Depression hurts!
2. Depression hurts everyone!
3. Who am I kidding, it was a lousy year!
4. I just don't know what happened!
5. It's time for me to retire!
6. It's time for a change!
7. Here's hoping 2009 will be a better year!
8. Good luck Obama, I couldn't get those congressmen to listen to me!
9. We need a plan of recovery!
10. I need a vacation!
11. I'm ready for 2009 to bail me out!
12. They just told me, because of the economy I won't be getting my retirement party!
13. I gave it my best shot!
14. All most everyone is glad to see me go!
15. I regret having to past this schythe to 2009!
16. What could I have done differently?!
17. Every move I tried was BUSHwhacked!
Nancy Nelson
I like bushwhacked, but a bit too political.

Why'd I have to carry a scythe? An Uzi would'd been lighter and more effective.
Ken Layton, Carthage

Quoting the Grateful Dead:"What a long strange trip it's been."
Vanise Goodnight, Lexington

I can't describe 2008. This is a family newspaper.
I'd have retired back in January had they told me that 2008 was an election year.
Ken Layton, Carthage

18. Call me crazy but I think things will get worse!
19. I'll probably be seen as the worst year in recent history!
20. I'm worried about my health insurance, will I be eating or taking my medicines.
21. Where's the Prozac?!
22. Quit looking at me like that, it's not my fault!
23. Yeah I know, you'll be glad to see me go!
24. Trouble is noone's hiring!
25. Wallowing in self pity doesn't help!
Nancy Nelson
24 is good

08 was a bad year, it got me on the hard stuff.
I had to go on welfare in October.
Broke and homeless, could you buy me a beer?
Don Rankin, Greensboro

"Wish I'd taken early retirement."
Dawn Hailey, Greensboro
Nice.

So when the Angel of Death got his federal bailout, they rearranged the corporate infrastructure. At least I'll have a job well into 2009.
Some folks call it a sling blade, I call it a Kaiser blade mmmmmhm.
So I says to him, I says: 'go ahead and whack me now. I can't take another freakin' week!'
Well I'm SORRY that this blade makes you nervous, but after the year
I've had, I would think you would understand why I carry it!
Tony Hummel, Reidsville

You might want to nurse that big mug far into 2009.
A new broom should sweep clean.
Just remember -- ' 09 arrived in diapers.
I did enjoy being the Second Millennium baby.
Upside? I'm always mentioned in history books.
Hope it's a short winter -- I don't enjoy wearing diapers.
Set 'em up, Joe, and make it . . . .
That scythe gets heavier each day.
Joan Lux, Greensboro

When I was your age, we didn't have any bars here in Asheboro.
J. C. Winkler, Asheboro

1.) You try funding a retirement plan in 1 year in this economy!
2.)Give me a water. It's all I can afford!
3.)My mother warned me there would be years like this.
4.)It was the longest 365 days of my life pal!
5.) I sure hope my IRA rebounds in the next couple of days!
6.)I've got to start reading those want ads more carefully!
7.) Plop plop fizz fizz pretty much sums up this year!
8.) I mainly used it to harvest grain for ethanol.
9.) Mr. Madoff said he needs to meet with me about my IRA!
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro

"Had I reaped anything grimmer, I wouldn't be sitting here now."
John Reames, Greensboro

" OK, do they remember me for Obama or Brittney?"
" OK, do I try to bailout the new guy?"
Larry Hobbs, Greensboro

1.) I want a mulligan!
2.) I want a do over!
3.) Keep 'em coming!
4.) From C -section to Cialis in one year is hard on a fella.
5.) Give me the strongest stuff ya got!
6.) Well, I guess it's back to diapers!
7.) I'll have another vodka and prune juice please.
8.) I sure didn't see that coming!
9.)They better not compare me to that 1929 fella.
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro
Liked number 2 and 9.

1) Man! I'm glad this is over!
2) I have no idea what just happened.
3) Sure, I wanted a wife,kids,the whole deal, but the year just went by so fast!
4) Not a good time to be needing money from my I.R.A..
5) I'm thinking about kicking that baby's butt and going for another year.
6) Seems like just a few months ago I was your age.
7) You should try to get thru airport security with this thing.
8) No retirement, out of a job, Happy New Year my butt!
9) Well, after this I plan to get a job as an extra in the Brewster Rockit strip.
10) Maybe I can be a greeter at Wal-Mart.
11) Ahhh, to be 6 months old again.
12) I never really got to know my father.
13) Try goin from puberty to viagra in 4 months!
Bryan Tribbett, Roanoke, Va.

1) "They tell me help is on the way!"
2) "My bailout application is in the works"
3) "Wish that little guy would hurry up!"
Bill Beerman, Greensboro

1.) What the #$%*&$# just happened?!
2.) What a #%*$%# year!
3.) Another prune juice and put it on Rickard's tab.
4.) I wonder if the Grim Reaper is hiring?
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro

1.) Where's my golden parachute?
2.) I'm trying to convince one of the other years to trade sashes.
3.) 1929 is the only year willing to trade sashes.
4.)They're putting me in a witness protection program.
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro
No. 4 is good, I gave the nod for the runner-up spot to Bill as he sent it via snail-mail, so I gave him a break on the "who got it in first" criteria. Plus, his was just a smidge briefer.

I'm THE charter member of the Older than Dirt Club.
And then little Tommy Jones in Wichita . . . say, I'm not boring you, am I?
Someone stole my rose-colored glasses.
Hey, talking about bygone days is what old folks do, Sonny.
Mother Time can't stop worrying about the cost of diapers.
2008 . . . only a tiny blip on the radar of time.
In my next life I'll stay a young whippersnapper.
My, how time flies.
Joan Lux, Greensboro

1.) Hindsight is 20/20 you know!
2.) In hindsight I might have done things a wee bit differently.
3.) $%#!*& subprime mortgages!
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro
One of our judges liked # 2

"I just want finish my drink and get outta here."
"I pity young 2009 - I've left quite a mess."
"Sigh. My biggest regret is that I never won the joke's on you contest in 2008."
"Not too much funny happened in '08, I don't know what to say."
Michael L. Creech, Springboro, OH

".....and, as if things haven't been bad enough, my wife ran off with Dick Clark."
Phil Johnson, Siler City

"Sometimes Rodney Dangerfield comes to mind."
Christian Pike, Siler City

"There were times I'd wonder 'what would Jesus do'?"
" HAD I REAPED ANYTHING WORSE, YOU WOULD BE CRYIING IN YOUR BEER"
JOHN REAMES, Greensboro

I use two calendars -- the Gregorian and the GCS calendar on the fridge.
Joan Lux, Greensboro

1.) It's almost midnight.That poor clueless little schmuck!
2.)I feel sorry for the new guy.
3.) I said sure I'll take '08 if nobody else wants it.
4.) I'm only one but I REALLY needed a drink!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

"These temp jobs just wear you down."
"I'm only a year old and my whole life is behind me."
"2009 walked in and that was it.I was history."
"Mother Nature dropped me like a hot potato when she saw 2009."
"I know it's hard to believe but I haven't been carded since February."
"The worst part is the hair in the ears."
Marsha Elam, Greensboro

"I don't understand it...I used to be so spry!? This year I have just been 'Bush'-whacked!"
Mark Dalrymple, Greensboro

"After the year we had, I'am calling it quits!
Ivy Harris

26. Woe is me!
27. We must count our blessings before they pass!
28. Personally, I am glad this jig is over!
29. Times they are a changing!
Nancy Nelson

Running sand, sun's shadow, clock striking, I'm done !
I've really put us behind the old eight ball !
In time, you reap what you sow !
Think the ombudsman will remember me kindly ?
Just time for one last swig !
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

1. If only I had known then.
2. Sure, the chicks dig the robe.
3. If I had a nickel for every time TSA stopped me.
4. I was just getting used to writing '08 on my checks.
5. Is killing time wrong?
6. Do you like movies about gladiators?
7. Looks like I picked the wrong year to quit drinking.
8. I had no idea I would have to wear the same thing all year.
9. My brother Mel Practice was always mom's favorite.
10. I guess I could get a job as a Walmart greeter if this gig doesn't pan out
11. Yeah I know the reaper, nice guy.
12. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a scythe sharpened?
Eric Grimm, Greensboro
#4 was the final one cut from the runners-up. Good one, but ignored the obvious events from last year.

I'm depressed ! ( You reap what you sow ! )
Take one down, and pass it around, why do they want me to go ?
Why a tin cup for me ?
Just one more on the house, please !
One more on the house, for old time's sake !
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

I've had a bad year, too !
Penny's from heaven, please !
Why is everybody so down on me ?
I started with good resolutions too !
Cheers to my end !
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington
The resolutions one was promising

You're gonna need a bigger glass for 2009
I have a hangover and 2008 isn't even finished
I started the year in a diaper and ended in the toilet ...
Berenstain Bears or Bernake? It's a bear market anyway you look at it.
I wish I could go back in time
Where's my DeLorean when I need it?
That extra day in a Leap Year is a Killer (Election Day.)
I remember when the stock market almost reached 15,000 - oh, wait - that was this year.
I think my golden parachute collapsed this year.
Baby New Year is going to have to go from Diapers to Track shoes on January 20th.
"If I could turn back time ...
Jon Barsanti Jr, Hillsborough
Good stuff this week, Jon. The diapers-to-toilet one was a strong contender, too.

Bottoms Up !
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

Geez,even little old ladies are flipping me off !
It's hard to be incognito in this outfit.
I think the AARP put a hit out on me.
I told the New Year baby to run like hell..
.....and I said I don't think my scythe will even fit back there!
They offered me 2007 and I said noooooo I'll just wait a year.
Thanks for listening to my troubles Mr. Rickard.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

"I'm going to party like it's 1999."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

"Huh, what? Yeah I guess it does look like a French number 7."
"I sure dread the reviews tomorrow."
"Clarence, I think it would have been better if I had never been born."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

1. "I should have asked for a bailout."
2. "Maybe if Congress knew I was living on borrowed time they'd bail me out."
3. "I've seen more in my lifetime then most people see in a year."
4. "Time is like a box of chocolates. You never get enough and it makes you fat."
5. "Who's this Dick Clark guy? I've never heard of him."
6. "I was stuck in a fourth dimension, an unwilling cog in the space-time continuum. But I just wanted to be a dancer."
7. "I just found out I'll be rooming with 1929 at the retirement home."
Tom Norman, Greensboro
Liked #4 and 7. #4 made me laugh, but was too far afield from the drawing.

1. I knew it was going to be bad year when the ball dropped breaking my leg.
2. Katrina, high gas prices, unemployment--just look at me.
Dick Ellis, Pleasant Garden

Never dreamed my last Happy Hour would be spent with an Ombudsman.
History will call me the Year of Ombudsman !
Put it on my tab. Everybody else is !
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

1) " I have to tell my girlfriend she needs to be tested for something called a recession . "
2) " There's no way I'm getting my deposit back. "
3) " Right off the bat I hit rock-bottom, then things really got bad."
4) " If I had to do it over, I wouldn't have wasted 15 minutes on Joe the Plumber. "
5) " That sure felt longer than a year. "
6) " Not exactly a good year to start a 401K. "
7) " They caught me trying to sell my seat. "
8) " I could really use one of those bailouts. "
9) " At least Britney finished strong. "
10) " Now I have to hear all those " diapers full of auld lang syne "jokes. "
11) " I sent all my money to a Prince in Kenya. "
12) " I feel like they dropped that " ball " on me. "
13) " I probably should hire a lawyer. "
14) " Bad year is a gigantic understatement. "
15) " The Chinese New Year keeps calling me " The Year of the Bailout . "
16) " I hope I'm not legally responsible for any of that. "
17) " Wonder if I could get a mulligan ? "
18) " Ever have one of those years ? "
19) " Every time they mention me they will show that guy throwing a shoe at the president. "
20) " I feel like a Big Three C. E. O. "
21) " Baby New Years says he's not coming out till after Bush is gone. "
22) " Auld lang syne.....more like old age sigh ! "
23) " UNCLE !!!! "
24) " How can you have $ 4.50 and $ 1.50 gas in the same year ? "
25) " Yeah that was me. Sorry ! "
Joel Clark, Greensboro
Good stuff Joel. Several made the short list, one or two were in the last group cut.

With the passage of each year, Prosperity is what we want to hear, Well it's not happening this year, I took my best shot, I see you're crying in your beer. When we get greedy and don't help the downtrodden and the needy our 401-Ks, health insurance, environment, stock, businesses, etc. all go to pot. It's too late for me but you, my friend, can start all over again! My last advice Make Love not War and may 2008 Rest in PEACE!
Nancy Nelson

By the way, is it supposed to be God? The Grim Reaper? Or the year in general? I've got a few for each scenario:
God
The angel union went on strike yesterday.
They forclosed on heaven last week.
I'm having to outsource miracles to save money now.
Reaper
The scythe is my severance pay.
I don't like this new "green" reaper look.
Had to sell the cloak to afford rent.
General year
I looked like you in January.
Ever had a crowd count down to your death?
It's for the next group that asks for a bailout.
Yeah, I know who's behind me.
Grady, Greensboro
It was general year.

How long are people going to hate me?
I was going to retire December 31st, until my 401k tanked.
I can't believe my approval rating is lower the "W's!"
I can't even hide from Pam on the RU Sirius
I wonder if anybody will now that I am gone ...
It might have been a better year if I weren't in the bars every night
I wish I could party like it was 2007.
I want a do-over.
Jon Barsanti Jr, Hillsborough

1-Hear this: I've had enough war and recession. I'm turning it over to the next sucker.
2-Some tough gig. In one year I went from a cute baby to a doddering old coot.
3-Let's toast this auld lang syne and Happy New Year stuff with your beer and my prune juice.
Max Harless, High Point

"I didn't think we would be doing this in Asheboro during my watch !"
Harold Sexton, Asheboro

"After a year like this, I deserve a drink!"
"I really screwed up, huh?"
"Darn, I didn't get the hang of the iphone either."
"If any mortgage brokers ask, you haven't seen me."
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro
Good iPhone caption, but that was close to the New year's winner a year ago.
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro

I'm hoping for a presidential pardon and a little bailout money.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

You're a lawyer, think I got an age discrimination case ?
Clear case of age discrimination !
What ever happened to age discrimination ?
Think my replacement will be a woman or minority ?
Can you believe 24/7 for 365 days and they got me for poor performance ?
What a waste of good spirits ?
Not even a pat on the back !
No pat on the back, just a kick in the caboose !
I'll need a good lawyer, IRS wants to talk !
I'm still warm, but you must be the Undertaker !
I'm still warm, and you already want to bury me !
You the Undertaker ?
Who you, the Undertaker ?
Let me guess, you the Undertaker ?
Here comes the Judge !
Just heard my replacement is a female or minority !
Said they wanted a female or minority for the job !
The times they are a'changing
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

You the Assistant Living Guy ? I got'em all on Assistant Living !
They're all coming to Assistant Living with me !
Wonder what Assistant Living will be like ?
Assistant Living isn't really too bad !
You need Assistant Living too ?
You might qualify for Assistant Living too !
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington
Is it "assistant living" or "assisted living?"

In retrospect, I shouldn't have taken last year off...
Stock market at 1997 levels, gas prices at 2004 levels, maybe I'll get hired again in four more years ...
Jon Barsanti Jr, Hillsborough

30. I'm out of here!
31. My life's over!
32. Life stinks!
33. This job stucks the life right out of you!
(Tim have a good New Year , Maybe if I stick around I'll get a winner next year. Missed those comments last week)
Nancy Nelson
I hope you do both; stick around AND get a winner.

"It's been so bad even I can't wait to see me go."
"I'm thankful it's just a one year gig."
"I'd offer to buy you a drink but I sure I'd just mess it up."
Brent Wooten, Thomasville
Number one was one of my favorites

"You don't know how difficult it is using the 'john' while you're holding this scythe."
"When Dick Clark comes in here he still gets carded."
"I'll have to pawn my scythe to pay for this round."
"I don't care what they say, the BCS just ain't working."
"You don't know how difficult it is using the 'john' with this scythe on your back."
"If the economy doesn't pick up I'm going to start moonlighting as a calendar salesman."
Gray Amick, Greensboro

My 401K aged out too.
Jim Lawrence

1.) Any chance I could hide out at your place until the new year?
2.) Que sera sera. 3.) I will gladly pay you Thursday for a drink today.
4.) I can take the taunts but I don't like the farting in my general direction
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

At least gas prices are down.yay me.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

Everything was going great until January 2nd, 2008
Frank Beamon, Greensboro

It was what it was.
Wish I'd sold my GM stock in '07.
I need a bailout.
Next time, hope I get an odd-numbered year.
Should have jumped on that WalMart greeter's gig.
Tom Harrison, Greensboro

34. Tim went on vacation and I'm stuck here another week!
35. The cartoonist went on vacation and I'm stuck here another week.
36. Hope 2009 can teach Tim how to tell time!
37. Tim(e) management is the key to a happy new year!
( Just having a little fun here,the JOY is on you, have a good vacation)
Nancy Nelson

"They offered early retirement in November but my 401K imploded and this kid is angling for my job."
ZhaK

"End of eight, glad it over, I'm Bushed"
Jessie Ramsey, Greensboro

"And I still don't know what credit default swaps are."
Hal Koger, McLeansville

Yup. Me too. Fired and replaced by someone a lot younger with a lot less experience.
Ken Sheldon, Elon

Okay, so my name is Jordan Suzanna Frye and I am nine years old from Greensboro, NC. I have two entries. Okay..
"What the?! Baby food! I forgot i ain `t no baby 2008 anymore. Stupid 2009."
"Okay, so I know coffee is `posed to make you all energetic, But 2008 flew by THAT FAST!!! Should have ordered that drink you `re holding."
"Actually I kinda prefer the good old days when sickles didn't have so many buttons on the remote control."
Ms. Frances J. Gallon, Greensboro

"It only seems like yesterday"....
Colleen Bolejack, Whitsett

1.) The buck stops here.
2.) Sometimes it's not easy being a ceremonial figurehead.
3.) Ahhh,sweet oblivion here I come.
4.)It was a perfectly good year and they had to screw it up.
5.) I didn't do it.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

38. Do wah ditty, ditty dum ditty do!
39. No wonder you're jobless, you drink too much!
40. Here's hoping history doesn't repeat itself!
41. I can't believe I got all Ds and Fs on my report card this year!
42. I'm so depressed!
Nancy Nelson

1.) I bet this isn't as good as the elderberry wine those two old ladies offered me.
2.) It will be over 60 years before I can even get social security.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

"They brought in some young guy.. says he's going to change everything."
Lyn Nieri, Summerfield
Nice!

I just don't understand why I didn't get a bail out, everyone else that ran things into the ground did".
Lyn Nieri, Summerfield

"All I needed is another 700 billion and I could of turned things around".
Lyn Nieri, Summerfield

"Ever get the feeling it just hasn't been your year?"
Rupert Burton, Greensboro

* "My New Year's Eve party has been cancelled!"
* "The new kid will age even faster!"
* ".. and it started off sooo well!!"
* "Things got so bad, they made me take early retirement!"
* "Things bad!?? I couldn't sell my sickle on EBay!"
* "Sales off, jobs down. Give me your glass!"
* "Time for a career change"
* "They just put the year in the "L" column for me!"
* "They have problem recruiting my replacement. The position is still open!"
* "To top it off, I lost everything in the Madoff Ponzi scheme!"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro
I liked the replacement one. Early retirement was good, too

Well, I may never retire, but at least gas is cheaper than Scotch now!
Dean Tribbett, Va Beach VA

"Dealing with last year, who needs a lot to drink?"
Ian Knight, Greensboro

1) Doesn't anyone care that we all have severe Progeria ?
2) That felt more like 2 years.
3) I can't wait to see VH1's " I Love 2008 " .
4) Talk about a bad year. Even pirates made a comeback.
5) Remember Hillary's 3 a.m. call ? Seems like I got one every night.
6) If you know what hits the fan, Bush better give me a pardon.
7) I was hoping to get Hillary's senate seat, but I'm not a Kennedy.
8) I can't believe we ran out of money on my watch.
9) The old man from last year never mentioned anything about a recession.
10) Apparently I'm not done until Rickard names a winner.
Deadpan
I like # 3, personally. And of course, #10.

"I used to drink beer, but by Super Tuesday, I was on the hard stuff."
Carl Niedziela, Pelham
nice

I'm actually looking forward to a good ol' dirt nap.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro